can't go on much longer

claire-abelle · May 12, 2008 12:30PM

Hi everyone, hope you're all ok

this is a bit long but I need to talk
I posted the message below on the pnd page earlier but now I feel even worse. I've been texting my oh this morning and finally admitted I can't cope and I need to see someone and he replied to me "I can't cope either, my life is in bits too but blokes just have to get on with it! so my reply was "it's not a competition" and he's now told me to "f*** off, thats it, he's not doing this anymore" Now I feel like cancelling my doctors appointment this morning as I should just be getting on with it and coping. I jsut don't know what to do and how much longer I can go on for

following posted this morning

My family and husband think I have pnd and want me to go to the doctors but i'm scared.
My little on is 7 1/2months now and i've been feeling really weird for a few months now.
some days are fine and I cope with things well, but since coming back to work 4 days a week it seems to be getting worse.
some days I get in such rages that it scares me. everthing my oh does annoys me and i'm so irrational sometimes I can't think straight. I feel a total failure as a mother and just sit there and howl. I'm doing it now, sat at my desk at work in tears and I don't know why. I am constantly worrying about money, or the lack of it and my husband is packing his business in and come a few weeks don't know how we're going to pay the mortgage as he hasn't found a job yet.
I have a constant headache like there's a cloud over my head, I would rather just lay in a dark room and not see a sole but I have to go to work and carry on, but I don't know how much longer I can go on for.

Do you think it's pnd or am I just letting things get on top of me? I don't see why I shouldn't be able to cope, plenty of people have babies and job and homes and cope perfectly well so why can't I?

What should I do?

LouMichelle · May 12, 2008 7:33AM

So sorry to hear that hun. Don't cancel your doctors, it may be best for you to talk to them and see whether it is pnd or not. It sounds like you are both under a huge amount of stress at the moment with his business packing up, you being at work and caring for your baby.
Being a mum is hard work as it is without all the other worries, but whatever you think you are NOT a failure as a mum. On the outside it may seem as though people cope, but no one really knows what goes on behind closed doors.
Keep your appointment and let me know how you get on.xxx

Annieuk76 · May 12, 2008 7:46AM

Hi Claire. I know exactly where you are coming from. I was diagnosed with PND 7 months ago. At the beginning my husband flipped and walked out on us. Our son was crying and he just shouted at me "I can't cope with this, I'm not ready to be a Dad!" He walked out and spent 1/2 hour on his own. When he came back he had calmed down and was fine. During my PND he was my rock, but at times he found it really hard to cope. I was getting all the support, but nobody realised that he was suffering to, and it was also a huge change for him. I know that men don't go through the same as us, but it is still a big change for them too.
Keep your doctors appointment, they are there to help you. My doctor has been fantastic and keeps an eye on me.
The feelings are awful, but it can get better with help, you just need to ask for it. I come on this site everyday if you need to talk. I felt that I would never come out the other side when it first happened to me, but day by day it is getting better.

nothappywithbeingchanged · May 12, 2008 7:50AM

i had pnd with my last baby n im sorry to say it sounds like u may have as well, obviously oh is not being as supportive as he could be but he might be scared my oh had no idea what was going on neither did my friends or family n in the end i took the decision to seek help n im glad to say although things didnt get fixed right away they got better steadily. see ur gp u find a friend u can confide in, its hard letting it all out as u say it feels like everyone else is managing why cant u but the truth is no one copes all the time and pnd just happens its no reflection on u as a mother!!!! if u need a chat u can get hold of me on email charlie_maiseymum@yahoo.co.uk all the best laura hatcher mum of two nearly 3 xxxxxxxxxxxx

claire-abelle · May 12, 2008 8:30AM

thanks for your replies, it has helped and finally admitting there is a problem has somehow lifted a bit of that cloud above me.

I will keep my appointment, i've got one on wednesday. because if I don't then things are going to get worse, and I love my husband dearly and don't want us to fall apart. So i've got to do all I can to keep my marraige.

I will let you know how I get on and thanks xxxx

xxxxBOOxxxx · May 12, 2008 12:30PM

Hope it goes well at the docs. I also have pnd and was doin really well on the meds prescribed but the last 3 weeks I've really slipped back again and oh finds it really difficult as I take everything out on him and just pick arguments all time. During one of our daily rows (constantly at the min as I just become a complete b***h when am feeling like this) he admitted how he couldn't cope either. LO 4 months so still adjusting to him being here and he just feels like he has to creep round me as he's scared he'll just set me off and we'll have another blazing row.

Glad you've decided to keep ur appointment as getting help for it makes such a difference. And to me it def sounds like you are suffering PND xxx

can't go on much longer

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