Anyone else 40+ expecting their First Baby?

Hi Everyone. I'm 16 weeks (due 6/11) with my first at the age of 42 (I'll be 43 when it arrives). After miscarrying last year at 7 weeks I was delighted at 13 week scan to see heartbeat and baby punching the air in victory! Now I'm just worrying about the anomaly scan at 20 weeks (though hubby and I have already decided we do not want to pursue any invasive further tests). My waistband has been expanding since approx week 8. Felt nauseous but not actually sick during first 12 weeks. More recently, if I rush around in the morning I find myself wretching so have slowed the pace. Seem to be prone to heartburn in the evenings. Boobs have expanded and I think I might try some support at night now too. Thoroughly enjoying the experience. Told parents last weekend - delighted. Just need to break it to the boss. I am concerned what reaction I will get from wider work colleagues when I break the news. Is it just me? All my mags have 'young' mums. It would really help put things in perspective to hear from other first-timers who are 40+.

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  • I am 29 Julie but didn't want to read and run!
    So what about your age - I think its fantastic.
    I feel so much more comfortable being older (I know I'm younger than you but also 10-15 years older than a lot of mums out there at the moment!).
    I feel completely ready and know I wouldn't have a few years ago.
    Think of the things you have already done and not missed out on and the experience you now have to pass on to your little one.
    I wouldn't think it was odd even if my own Mum decided to have another one now and she's 56!
    Age is simply a number and its all about how YOU feel.
    So many congratulations to you and just keep enjoying it.

    Rachel.
    31+6. xx
  • Thank you so much for your responses. Have to say, your kind words reduced me to tears! Bloomin' hormones. Julie x
  • Ha ha ha Julie, unfortunatley the hormones get worse! I cry even when watching things on the ruddy telly now!

    I am not 40+ (28) but as long as baby is healthy I dont think age is really a major consideration in being a Mum at 43 you will have different things to offer a child to a mother who is 20 that doesnt make either way better just different.

    I think sites like these are fab as age really isnt a barrier, where as in real life age can be a bit of a divider of people.

    As much as I am enjoying being pregnant it aint half one worry after another! Hope you have a happy and safe pregnancy and look forward to reading all your hideous ailments in the future like the rest of us (piles, mucus, sick, poo its all happening on here)

    Joanna 31 weeks x x x
  • Trying to resist finding out the sex at 20 week scan. It would be quite nice to have a surprise (if we can resist the urge to ask). Now I've made a connection, can I ask: Does anyone else's bump change from one day to the next? Mine is enormous today (talk about growth spurt). I've had to come home and take my skirt off.
  • Yes Julie. Although now mine is pretty consistent and rock hard, at your stage it definitely changed from one day to the next. Some days I could wear my jeans (undone) with a bump band and others I couldn't cos they were so tight even undone.
    I think its all to do with water retention at your stage as lo is still fairly tiny.
    Completely normal. I found it was smaller in the mornings too and then ballooned at night.
    Now its just blimin massive whatever I do! Slightly larger to the right where her bum is apparently sticking out!
    All fun and games!!

    Rachel.
    31+6 xx
  • Hi Julie, Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone, I am 43 yrs old and expecting my 4th baby on 1st Dec. ....Not only am I like you trying to fit into clothes that are a tight fit. and my boobs are growing so big, I will be in competition with 'Jordan' next. Had my 12 wk scan this morning and was excited about seeing baby move. off to bed early with lots of litrature regarding CVS!!! us older mums do come with some risks.
    Have not told any colleagues at work yet although they seem to be quick to comment that I am putting on weight!!. Good luck with your pregnancy, hope you stay happy and healthy and keep in touch via this chat room......they never had anything like this when I had my 1st son 17 yrs ago!! Good Luck
    ;)
  • Many thanks for all the kind thoughts. Not feeling so unusual now.
  • Hi Julie,

    I'm 41 and will be 42 when the baby is born. It's still early days though, 7 weeks today and I'm also not a first time mum. My last child was born 21 years ago though, so it feels like the first time round as so many things have changed.

    We havn't told anyone yet and I'm worrying about the kind of reactions that I'll get. I know my family will be delighted and supportive but it's the reactions from work colleagues that concerns me the most. I know it shouldn't and like Zoe85 says they may surprise us.

  • Hi Penguin 66. I almost told the boss last week but chickened out at the last minute. I am concerned about what others reactions will be (I know I shouldn't be). All of my colleagues did all this way back and now have grown up families. I just know someone will upset me (whether intentionally or not - I have started practicing my response to any sarcastic comments! Will let you know how my news goes down as I'll have to break it in the next week or so. As you say, we might be pleasantly surprised. Julie x
  • Firstly congratulations Julie!!

    Secondly i am so glad someone asked the question about bumps changing. I am 16 weeks tomorrow and was strting to worry. On Friday I was massive, quite hard and really looked pregnant. this morning i just look fat, bump just seems to have gone soft again! was good to hear that changes from one day to another are normal at this stage...

    I know how you feel about not telling certain people, but for dfferent reasons. we told our parents and friends right away, at 5 weeks, but i was really putting off telling my gran. took me quite a few weeks until my mum begged me to tell her. i was not worried about her being upset (not that she should be), but i was worried about her upsetting me..... because we are not married!!! I was married a few years back, for all of five months and i didnt want her bringing that all up again!! However, i realised that her reaction would be the same whenever I told her, and i would have to tell her at some point,so i bit the bullet. her reaction really surprised me, as did that of my colleagues at work, considering i had only been working there for a week when i fell pregnant! te he. gran did ask if we would get married, so i just said, 'doubtful gran, been there, done that, burnt the wedding dress' she laughed and said she was happy for us and she really is delighted.....

    So, people will surprise you!!! you might get the odd stupid comments but stuff them and rise above it! heres to a happy and healthy pregnancy, keep us updated along the way

    Lisa
    http://bd.lilypie.com/pnJs0/.png

  • Hi Julie, I'm 36 and expecting my second baby in August, I was a bit worried about the midwife/doctors attitude towards me being over 35 and therefore more risks being involved, but it hasn't been like that at all, no-one has made any comments about my age and I'm treated no differently to anyone else.

    If anyone does make any nasty or sarcastic comments just remember its their problem, not yours, just enjoy your pregnancy, after all you'll be the one with a gorgeous baby to love at the end of it.

    As for bump size, I had gastric flu at 14/15 weeks and was really ill so lost half a stone and virtually had a flat stomach, then as soon as I started to get better in my 16th week and started eating again my bump just popped out and its grown like mad ever since!!

    Helen (28 weeks) xx
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