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Looking for someone to talk to...
I am sorry for my first post being so depressive, but in all honestly the reason i joined up to this site is because i have no one to talk to and no where to turn to and i am feeling the lowest i have ever felt.
Me and my partner have been trying for a baby for just over 2 years. At the time i came off the pill i didn't really get regular periods anyways, but i have had 1 period since stopping the pill. I have had numerous scans etc and everything has come back clear so far. I have been in and spoken to my doctor, and she advised me to make an appointment in 3 months for me and my partner to talk over things and see what they can do for us, but i am not holding out much hope.
I was pushed to the edge this week when it was announced that a girl i work with is pregnant. It was unplanned and it's now all she talks about. I feel so selfish because when she told me, i went to the toilet and cried my eyes out (i didn't let her see how much pain i felt, i put on a happy face and congratulated her and listened to her go on about everything i so desperately want to be going through). Later that night i was also so upset and cried my eyes out. I feel terrible, as i am genuinely happy for her, but can't see past my own jealousy! I'll never let anyone know how much i am desperate for a baby as me and my partner get married late next year and we really thought we would have a baby by now.
When i manage to forget about the baby stuff, now in work it's all i hear and it's all i am going to hear for the next 9 months, and i really don't know how i am going to cope!!!!
It was bad enough when people i knew were telling me they were pregnant, but this girl has really made me feel so upset as i have to face her every day.
I feel so alone. I have spoken to my partner, but he doesn't fully understand how i feel, and keeps saying "It will happen one day for us" but it's really not what i want to hear! He just goes with the flow and is so laid back, but me i am so up tight constantly and so obsessed with the idea of having my own family. I am so ready for this and wish it would happen for us.
I am so sorry for my first post being so depressive, but i honestly have no one to talk to! When we started trying, we agreed we wouldn't tell anyone as we wanted it to be a surprise, especially for the granparents who always ask when we plan on having babies.... it just hasn't worked out that way, and i really thought i would fall straight away!
Thanks for listening, and i hope someone will have the time to write back to me.
Cat x
Me and my partner have been trying for a baby for just over 2 years. At the time i came off the pill i didn't really get regular periods anyways, but i have had 1 period since stopping the pill. I have had numerous scans etc and everything has come back clear so far. I have been in and spoken to my doctor, and she advised me to make an appointment in 3 months for me and my partner to talk over things and see what they can do for us, but i am not holding out much hope.
I was pushed to the edge this week when it was announced that a girl i work with is pregnant. It was unplanned and it's now all she talks about. I feel so selfish because when she told me, i went to the toilet and cried my eyes out (i didn't let her see how much pain i felt, i put on a happy face and congratulated her and listened to her go on about everything i so desperately want to be going through). Later that night i was also so upset and cried my eyes out. I feel terrible, as i am genuinely happy for her, but can't see past my own jealousy! I'll never let anyone know how much i am desperate for a baby as me and my partner get married late next year and we really thought we would have a baby by now.
When i manage to forget about the baby stuff, now in work it's all i hear and it's all i am going to hear for the next 9 months, and i really don't know how i am going to cope!!!!
It was bad enough when people i knew were telling me they were pregnant, but this girl has really made me feel so upset as i have to face her every day.
I feel so alone. I have spoken to my partner, but he doesn't fully understand how i feel, and keeps saying "It will happen one day for us" but it's really not what i want to hear! He just goes with the flow and is so laid back, but me i am so up tight constantly and so obsessed with the idea of having my own family. I am so ready for this and wish it would happen for us.
I am so sorry for my first post being so depressive, but i honestly have no one to talk to! When we started trying, we agreed we wouldn't tell anyone as we wanted it to be a surprise, especially for the granparents who always ask when we plan on having babies.... it just hasn't worked out that way, and i really thought i would fall straight away!
Thanks for listening, and i hope someone will have the time to write back to me.
Cat x
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Replies
You can always come on here and talk to us about it, it must be and will be so hard with having that at work but you are a dtrong person and yu can get through this and on the days like today that you feel like you can't you come and moan to us ok
K xxxxx
I love it when i hear people say they know women who fell pregnant after 2 / 3 / 4 years.
One good thing i think of is, i have waited 2 years now, another 1 or 2 and i will have a baby who will be so loved by us it's unbelievable.
Thanks for replying, means so much to me x x x x
After 2 years I'm not surprised you feel so down It must be horrid to have someone you have to see every day talking about things you want to experience. A friend of my husband is pregnant - it was unplanned too - and she has acted a bit like she is the first person to ever get pregnant. I have been trying to avoid her, but will have to see her over the next couple of months
Like k-lou says, feel free to come back and chat on here
YOu just have to put your head up and really believe that your time will come. I know a few people who have falling preg after 2 ot 3 years. My best friend has been trying for two and a half years it's heart breaking to see her trying she is going to give it another 6 months then try IVF.
For now though she is taking ytwo months off from TTC just to get her life back as it;s been all about making a baby it's all she thinks about She is going to drink what she wants eat what she wants and let her hair down for two months
xxx
After 2 years I'm not surprised you feel so down It must be horrid to have someone you have to see every day talking about things you want to experience. A friend of my husband is pregnant - it was unplanned too - and she has acted a bit like she is the first person to ever get pregnant. I have been trying to avoid her, but will have to see her over the next couple of months
Like k-lou says, feel free to come back and chat on here
Hi Gypsy
I used to feel exactly like you, and avoided people i knew who were expecting. When i did see them i always put on my happy face but inside i was being ripped apart!
I just can't believe im now in this situation! I tell you someone up above is definately testing me
Got to stay positive though and just focus on the hope that my time will come.
I just can't believe it's taken so long, and when i think, oh my god, it's been 2 years since we started trying, i just can't believe i have coped this long!!!!
Thanks for replying to me, i am starting to feel positive already!!!!
You are all so lovely x x x
Hi Debbiemc
Thanks to you also for replying to me (i honestly didn't think anyone would)
I have been to the doc loads of times about this, but all i got was "wait another few months, maybe you are too stressed etc" i just feel i get no where with them. I stopped going for about 6/7 months and when i went back i got a new doc who was so understanding, and she has said she will help us... so fingers crossed.
Thanks so much for your reply! x x x
YOu just have to put your head up and really believe that your time will come. I know a few people who have falling preg after 2 ot 3 years. My best friend has been trying for two and a half years it's heart breaking to see her trying she is going to give it another 6 months then try IVF.
For now though she is taking ytwo months off from TTC just to get her life back as it;s been all about making a baby it's all she thinks about She is going to drink what she wants eat what she wants and let her hair down for two months
xxx
I know how your best friend must be feeling, i kind of feel like a failure at times and think i am the problem. It certainly has taken up all my thoughts and feelings for the past 2 years. I have never even thought or considered IVF, i am only 26 so i think there is plenty time yet for me. Well, the way the years are flying by - i hope there is plenty time for me, hahaha
x x x
Stay positive hun, if you've waited 2 years already you should congratulate yourself on that. It takes way longer than people think. We're all here to support one another xx
hugs to you
xx
You're getting married next year!! That is wonderful news!! If I was you, I would concentrate on having the most wonderful wedding day ever and you never know, by doing that you might just fall pregnant when you are least expecting it.
Babydust
xxxx
xx
Stay positive hun, if you've waited 2 years already you should congratulate yourself on that. It takes way longer than people think. We're all here to support one another xx
hugs to you
xx
Hi Kimdx
My OH drives me mad also with his laid back attitude to everything, but he keeps me going, and i wouldn't be without him. He's so patient with me.
I would never make her or anyone else feel uncomfortable about talking about their pregnancy as one day i know when i am pregnant i will be shouting it from the roof tops i am not that kind of person anyway to show people how i am really feeling (when it's something like this) not even my closest friends know we have been trying for so long.
Thanks to you too for replying to me x x x
Good luck, I'm sure you'll get what you want in the end.
You're getting married next year!! That is wonderful news!! If I was you, I would concentrate on having the most wonderful wedding day ever and you never know, by doing that you might just fall pregnant when you are least expecting it.
Babydust
xxxx
Hi Mrs Hopefull, yes i am getting married next year - i am so excited, and have spent all my positive thoughts & energies on the planning. I am kind of obsessed because it took the pressure away from ttc, but now with the girl in my work announcing she is pregnant it was kind of like a kick in the stomach for me as it brought me back down to reality with a BIG bang and i was like "Oh my god, i have been trying for over 2 years to have a baby, and i am still not even there yet"
There is this fear now that because i bought my wedding dress - what if i fall pregnant... but you know what, i would be soooo happy! It would just be my luck!!! (I have none, hahaha)
I have the most amazing husband to be, and i am genuinely happy with my life, but there is just one little thing missing...... One day though.
Thanks soooo much for your reply.
Also, thanks so much to all that has replied to me, you have no idea how much i appreciate this. x x x
Im so sorry you feel so down hun. There is not much more that can be said that the others havent said. Keep your chin up girl and when you feel down, come on here and have a chat.
If it helps, it took my mum 5 yrs to conceive my brother and 1 year to conceive me.
Not all women get pregnant straight away. Try and relax about having a baby. The doctor told my mum and dad that they were trying to hard. As soon as they relaxed about it and said what ever happens, happens, my mum got pregnant more or less straight away.
Dont beat yourself up hun, it will happen for you.
xxx
xx
I did try the OV sticks, but they were not working for me. I don't have a clue when i am OV because i have no periods.... My doc told me not to get into these kinds of things as it will make me so much more obsessed. So i just try and keep the positive approach and think what will be will be.... I was okay up until this week.
I will definately call my doctor for a joint app for me and htb.
x x x x x
Good luck, I'm sure you'll get what you want in the end.
x
Hi there, i have heard of Agnus Castus, but not Clomid.... what is this? I will google it and have a read up on it also.
Thanks so much x x x
My lo was totally unexpected as we had actually given up and decided we were just going to live the life of a couple(i was all for adopting but oh not keen) with no commitments and luxury holidays, we then bought a house and nesting instinct must have kicked in. Also, and i don't want to get hopes up with all the info people give about what to do and what not,, but i used to drink a lot of coffee and i'd switched to decaff for my own health, anyway i read sometime later that 1 cup of coffee can reduce fertility by stupid % (can't remember figure but know i was shocked, sorry!)
Well i've rambled long enough, but i just wanted to let you know we're hear for you and understand, really good luck and i hope your wish comes true soon. like the others say i really think if you just realx and get on with life you may just find that you'll have you're own little surprise too. congratulations on wedding, enjoy it and take care x
Keep your chin up, focus on your wedding - it will be fabulous! - and see what the doc has to say.
As for Agnus Castus, I think the drops taste horrid (from what I've read) and the capsules are often on offer at Holland and Barret, so that's a good place to start you can check online too.