Selfish for not wanting more?
Hi ladies
My ds is 6 months old and I absolutely love him to bits. I'd always thought I would have 2 or 3 children but now that he's here and I'm a mum I'm not sure if I want any more. I don't know if I could handle another one - emotionally or financially.
I have a brother myself and we are really close. I don't know what I would do without him - and I feel I'm depriving my lo of having that close bond of a brother or sister.
I feel its the right thing for me but is it fair on him?
Am I being selfish?
My ds is 6 months old and I absolutely love him to bits. I'd always thought I would have 2 or 3 children but now that he's here and I'm a mum I'm not sure if I want any more. I don't know if I could handle another one - emotionally or financially.
I have a brother myself and we are really close. I don't know what I would do without him - and I feel I'm depriving my lo of having that close bond of a brother or sister.
I feel its the right thing for me but is it fair on him?
Am I being selfish?
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Replies
I'm one of 4 and although my childhood was fab I always knew that I only wanted one child myself.
I watched my mum struggle financially and emotionally (my dad left when by youngest brother was about 4 months old) and I decided that one child was enough for me!
Poppy is 8 months old and I can't imagine having to share the love I feel for her with another child.
As long as they have friends & family that love them and don't get everything they want when they want it our 'only' children should grow up well adjusted.
however you never know in time you may feel differently anyway and there's nothing wrong with that either.
I would have to quit work, we would be unable to provide in the same way and would not be able to spend much time together as a family, so I think for me it would be selfish to have another.
That and I'm too bloody tired to do the deed to get pregnant again lol!
I keep thinking that LO is missing out on not having brother/sister, but if he's never had one, he won't know the difference anyway...
Thanks, guys!
My hubby's Granny was an only child & hated it & went on to have 8 kids of her own - her main reasons for wanting siblings was later in life when her parents passed away & she had to make all the decisions herself, situations like that etc.
I have a friend who was an only child until she was 11 then her little sister came along - she hated having a sibling as she had been the centre of attention until then, they get on now though!
I am the youngest of 3 & like having siblings but things that I noticed were that my parents didn't come to many of my school concerts/parents evenings in high school as they had been to the same stuff twice over before! boo hoo! But they had more money by the time I came along & my sisters had knackered most clothes/toys so I got more new stuff than them! lol!
I always said I wanted six! But after going through labour for the first time last year I was like 'NO MORE! Ahhhh!' but I am pregnant again...I thought it would be better to get another one over & done with but then I'll leave it for a couple of years & as my sister put it 'just think of what kind of car you would have to buy/drive if you had six kids!'
Now I've had a baby I can totally understand why people only have one as it is so exhausting & all the groups/parties/etc all add up money wise.
Your life, your choice.
xxx