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i hate feeling like this

MrsElsbethDaykinMrsElsbethDaykin
in Pregnancy
OH MY GOD

I am in such a state.
I hate feeling the way I do, and I can'tblame the pregnancy really.

I am feeling so so lonely. I know I have people around me, mum, mIke, AKren, but never in my life have I felt this way.

When the feelings started I tried so hard to ignore it, I mean what do I have to be depressed about right?
I am 29 weeks pregnant with a little girl who I already love to death. I have a roof over my head and food in the cupboard so why do I feel so shit?

Everything feels wrong. I am so low that nothing has to happen, I can be sat on my own and all I do is cry. I can be around people and all someone has to do is talk to me and I am in tears. NOt just a few stray ones either, big tears, proper sobbing. This is not me.
My eating is shot to fuck lol, i went 3 days without eating without even realising, it wasn't till i passed out and a mate asked me when I last ate that I knew how long it had been.
Getting out of bed is a chore. I stayed in all day on tuesday after seeing my midwife.

I know you are all going to say it is obvious I have some type of depression and that I should talk to someone but I really can't. I wouldn't even know where the hell to start.

Replies

  • eloisesprakeeloisesprake
    Poor you - this isn't like you at all! So, first - you've posted this which is a good first step. Reading your previous posts I think you're usually a fairly no-nonsense person so let's start with really basic physical things.

    1. You're not eating properly and your baby girl's putting on about 1/2lb a week at the moment, so you're going to feel like shit emotionally, as well as physically faint, if you don't eat. Go down the shops and get a banana, lots of strawberries or blueberries, milk, icecream and make yourself a Big Smoothie. M'kay?! Buy lots of other tasty food while you're thereimage

    2. You've had a hard time recently with your pregnancy - could it be now starting to sink in and you feel safe enough to let all the fear & anxiety out?

    3. Do talk to someone - a friend, anyone - just so long as you get it out there. You're already talking to us and you're making sense here, so give it a go.

    Big hug (and a big smoothie!!)
    xx
  • MrsElsbethDaykinMrsElsbethDaykin
    The pregnancy is going really well. Just the one stay in hopsital so I al well pleased with that.
    I even found out i have only gone up one dress size and i am all baby so even happier lol.

    I really can't talk to anyone about it that is close to me. I think i only managed to get it on here coz i am not close to any of you, well you're not sat in front of me shall I say.

    I can't actually get anything down or I would be eating no problem lol.
    Oh i dunno, i am shit.
  • Rebecca_and_RileyRebecca_and_Riley
    Aw hun, sorry you feel like this. It is a massive adjustment. Are there any Gps at your surgery that you don't know as well? It might be easier to talk to one of them?

    Although you'll probably just burst into tears, at least you will be able to get it all off your chest and get some advice. And if you don't want to talk, I always find just writing bullet points down and asking the Dr to read them instead helps, as then it all comes out the way you want it to. It is normal to go through a lot of emotions at the moment, and to feel like you just want to stay in bed in pjs and not speak to anyone, but it doesnt make you a bad person to just say to someone you're having a hard time of it and don't feel right. Do you think maybe you feel lonely because you're the one going through prenancy etc, and although parents etc have been through it, it can be quite isolating?

    Take care hun xxx
  • eloisesprakeeloisesprake
    Can you not get anything down because you're so upset and have been crying?

    Hun, if you cant talk to a friend, call a stranger, or tell us more what's going on, even if it sounds like no reason to be so upset. I've found some numbers online - HTH.

    Is it raining still where you are? Try going out for a walk to clear your head & decide what to do.

    Take care! xx

    Meet-A-Mum-Association (MAMA)
    Helpline: 0845 120 3746 (7.00 pm to 10.00 pm weekdays)
    Self-help groups for mothers with small children and specific help and support to women suffering from postnatal depression.

    National Childbirth Trust
    Enquiry line: 0870 444 8707; Pregnancy and Birth Line: 0870 444 8709
    Advice, support and counselling on all aspects of childbirth and early parenthood.

    The Samaritans
    Tel: 08457 909090 (UK) or 1850 609090 (Eire); Email: jo@samaritans.org.
  • jmpapponjmpappon
    Oh dear Elsbeth, I dont know what to say chick, all I do know is you need to talk it through with someone, maybe your doc as its not personnel to them, you might find it easier, dont feel like this alone, just cos you have material things like home food and stuff doesnt mean your immune to upset feelings.

    I have never suffered deppression or anything in my life and got dragged to docs some 10 weeks ago by hubby as all I did was cry when I got in from work, spoke to doc (well cried mostly) and he signed me off for 3 weeks with work related stress, thinking back things were just piling up on me and I wasnt letting them out, just clogging it all up till I thought I might explode. It really helped and now I am back on fighting form. Give it a go, what you got to lose?
  • babyfizzbabyfizz
    i work in mental health and am also sufferin with stress and depression, ironic or what!!lol.this certainly sounds like depression and it needs to be sorted asap as it could get worse (dont want to scare you, honestly). if you are still at work, go off sick, if you are off or dont work its bout forcin yourself to make little changes. go for a walk round the block, look at babies clothes, wash up, even if its the smallest thing feel proud. it may be hormones, it may be how you feel bout a situation, even when the baby is so wanted its still a bloody big shock!!lol. give yourself a break, go in bath, do your nails, etc. eatin is obviously is important but it is much more important to drink at the mo, preferable milk or as weeza says a smoothie, even a cup of tea and if you fancy it the entire packet of hob nobs - its you right!!!lol.
    god iv whittered but i hope it has helped and if you get really stuck ring someone like the samaritans or vent you spleen on here, we dont know you and will not judge as it can be very difficult to talk to friends and relatives when you feel like this. xxx
  • MrsElsbethDaykinMrsElsbethDaykin
    I can't drink milk it makes me sick, always has since I was a baby.

    It's not like I don't know what is coming, I have 2 kids already so I know exactly what to expect so I don't think it is shock or fear.
    I manged to speak to someone last night finally after letting them read some stuff I have been writing down. She cried because she has been with me almost every day and had no idea how I was feeling.

    I go for a walk everyday, I do housework all the time I have nothing left to do.
    Having a bath is routine so not a treat as I don't have a shower.

    I think not having been allowed to work all through my pregnancy hasn't helped but that is just life.

    I dunno ladies, shit happens, people have much worse than me and I should just get over what ever is going on.
    I think being in love with someone and not being able to have them right now ( we will but things have occured that have meant me need to cool offf for a bit ) isn't helping.
  • hayleys1hayleys1
    hi im a mental health nurse hun and i think you are suffering with pre natal depression and you need to see your gp. it can be treated but the worry is that it will turn into post natal depression after the birth and im sure other suffers will tell you its a horrible thing to suffer with hun. dont compare your life or what you have and havent got as its often a chemical imbalance and no reflection on your life. also if there are things going on in your life this will only add to it. pregnancy is hard everytime not just the first time. well done for talking about it to someone this is often the hardest step. try and speak to your mw or your gp there is lots of help out there and lots of women who feel the same as you and this may help you. hope this helps hun xxxxx
  • MummyX5MummyX5
    Elsbeth,
    Ur not daft, ur not stupid, ur not going round the bend and ur certainly not alone. There seems to be a lot going on in ur life as well as being pg and with all the hormonal changes that you go thru when pg, it's no wonder u feel as bad as you do.

    I do agree with previous posts, you do need to talk to someone - anyone but I would say ur GP or MW shud know that u have been feeling low. If it helps (as you say, you find it slightly easier with strangers or not face2face) I'm always online, my MSN is colman1192@hotmail.co.uk. Feel free to add me and come chat, anytime you want, (I'm usually online from around 7am to midnight), I'm a good listener image

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