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Why do we need men to have babies??
in Baby
AAAARRRGGGGHHHHHH!
I'm so annoyed at the minute! OH is really annoying me! everything he does gets on my nerves! he makes no effort with lo and i go back to work this month and how is he going to look after him properly if he doesn't know what to do??
LO is being abit of a bugger at the minute and i'm weaning him so i'm trying to get into a routine with that, and LO is so clingy lately and i'm just getting no help! i'm starting to struggle and ended up in tears last night! i just get no time to myself! i end up staying up late just to have a few hours of freedom even though i'm knackered and should really go to bed!
LO is 6 months old and next saturday is the first day that he is going to his nanna's without me to spend the day, i feel guilty because i'm kinda looking forward to it!!!
He's the kind of baby that needs alot of attention and he is really hard work! why can't oh just help out?
I was so tired this morning i asked him to look after him so i could have a nap, told him he was due a feed at 11, so at 11 he came upstairs with lo and said, when shall i feed him? then left him crying in his cot while he got it ready!!! clearly just to wake me up so he wouldn't have to feed him himself!
in general we are just not getting on and i feel miserable, i've told him how i feel and he just doesn't respond, i feel trapped and don't know what to do!
any advice???
I'm so annoyed at the minute! OH is really annoying me! everything he does gets on my nerves! he makes no effort with lo and i go back to work this month and how is he going to look after him properly if he doesn't know what to do??
LO is being abit of a bugger at the minute and i'm weaning him so i'm trying to get into a routine with that, and LO is so clingy lately and i'm just getting no help! i'm starting to struggle and ended up in tears last night! i just get no time to myself! i end up staying up late just to have a few hours of freedom even though i'm knackered and should really go to bed!
LO is 6 months old and next saturday is the first day that he is going to his nanna's without me to spend the day, i feel guilty because i'm kinda looking forward to it!!!
He's the kind of baby that needs alot of attention and he is really hard work! why can't oh just help out?
I was so tired this morning i asked him to look after him so i could have a nap, told him he was due a feed at 11, so at 11 he came upstairs with lo and said, when shall i feed him? then left him crying in his cot while he got it ready!!! clearly just to wake me up so he wouldn't have to feed him himself!
in general we are just not getting on and i feel miserable, i've told him how i feel and he just doesn't respond, i feel trapped and don't know what to do!
any advice???
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Replies
He still doesn't do masses and could in no way look after lo on his own as he has no idea about feeds etc but he does work more hours than me, he does the last bottle at night and i make him get up through the night if lo wakes.
My lo is also very demanding of attention and not a great daytime sleeper so i know how hard it is, i am lucky that i have my mum who is amazing.
If i did not have my mum i would think i would struggle as sometimes i feel like a single mum, sometimes i think i would be better off on my own as i wouldn't be picking up after oh as well as everything else but he does love our lo so much he is just a complete useless case when it comes to much help!
He looked after lo while i had a nap the other day and came up just as i had finally fell asleep to tell me lo had just done a poo but it was ok he had changed her nappy!
It did get better for us so hopefully it is just a bad patch and things will improve.
Try talking to him about it but remember he is ONLY a man lol!
sorry for the rant....
Caz x x
xxx
An hour a go i painted the skirting board in the bathroom, after i done sterilising and making bottles etc!!
I asked him to decorate lo room when i was pregnant, he's now 6 months and its not finished! he is going to move in there soon and its not finished for god sake, i'm fed up of asking, we moved 3 years ago and there ain't a single room thats finished! and coz i'm home all the time its getting to me and he just says yeah next week next week! next week never comes, so i'm working my way through it myself then he moans if i don't do it right! i don't know what i'm doing but i'm doing my best!
You would think that would spur him on, make him feel guilty for not doing it but it don't, i'm going to ask him for some time apart! i can't enjoy my lo when things are like this its not fair!
Good luck to you ladies too!
It must just be a man thing!! I threatened to leave this morning before I went to work.
My oh is out of work at mo, and I'm working 4 days but I still had to get up three times with lo last night while he snores. He went out Friday night till 4 am and I had a terrible night on my own with Shea, I then went to a hen do saturday night, came home at midnight and then got up at 1am and 4 am to see to Shea again. Everything he does annoys me too. They never seem to help out enough even tho I think he does quite a lot for a dad.
I think our hormones must still be playing up and I have to admit I've changed a lot since lo was born, I have become quite neurotic and stressed.
Maybe we all need some meditation or something.......
xxxx
i dread her when she is older cos he will have met his match with her, she can get so angry sometimes!
caz x x
My oh is v good with our lo - sure there are sometimes when I think 'grrr why can't he just do x or y' And more/worse than that - but there were times I thought that BEFORE lo was born!
Just wanted one positive message on here!!!
Hope it gets better for all of you - I often find men need to be told EXACTLY want to do - at least once (usually many more times) and generally have it written down too. If oh does something I don't like I make usre I tell him and then tell him how he should do it too!!!!
No subtle hints just hit them with it like a brick
But he doesn't have to help with all the baby stuff, which, lets face it, men are crap at! Even just sweep the floors, wash up once in a while or pick up his clothes! I don't expect OH to do everything, but just something! Or even some gratitude for all the work I do!
At the moment the only time I get to myself is the evening. Max is in bed at 7 and then I can do all the housework, usually finish around 9 by which time I'm shattered! But my maternity leave ends soon and I'll have to work evenings so I'm going to get no time to do anything around the house.
And, knowing oh, nothing will get done! I'll have to do stuff quickly while lo is having daytime nap or playing happily then go out to work in the evening.
Men don't know how lucky they are, really.
i blame the mils heehee, they obviously treated them like china and didn't want the poor souls to break, it's a wonder they're not all gay! lol. i will be teaching my lo that it's nice to help out and know when someone could do with a hand, it's my mission haha!
really hope your ohs start pulling their weight soon, my trick was always choosing the moment to phone oh when lo was crying, stay in my pjs all day and leave the hse a mess, then when he came home with no dinner on the table, i point at all these things and say, i've not had a chance! funnily enough he's starting to spend a bit of time with lo now so i can get on with stuff not knowing i've been chilling all day (well not all day but you know what i mean)
I honestly believe that my OH genuinely doesn't a) see all the stuff that needs doing or b) doesn't care about it.
He's an only child and his mum was on her own so it was just the 2 of them and I think he had way to much attention. It was (and still is) all about him. Even though I'm running around with a bowl full of dishes, trying to take the washing out the machine, doing some ironing (mainly his shirts!), trying to get Max some food, or he needs changing, making our dinner blah blah blah, he still just sits or usually lays around "are you making a cup of tea?"
Sometimes I could scream!!
So, in answer to your question, no. After the initial sperm production and insemination no, I don't think we need them anymore.
Other than that he works so hard to earn money for us so I don't begrudge him anything. Sorry!!!! !lol!