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TMI for husbands???

I am beginning to get really hacked off with my husband as although he wants another child he does NOT want to know when i am ovulating, or about my cycle, or when af is coming or about CM or even when i will take pg test. He thinks i should just forget about it, and have lots of sex and when i start throwing up, maybe doa pregnancy test!!!! I know that he may not want to know too much about CM and i dont really want to talk about that with him anyway but i really wish he would take a more active role in the process. I am beginning to think that he has only agreed to another child so that we can have sex reasonably frequently! I feel like i am doing it all on my own. How much participation do you all get from your oh's (apart from the obvious ha ha ha!)?

Replies

  • im lucky my oh is fab he is the one who is always asking how my cm is looking(bit freaky sometimes as men dont like talking about these things) he always askes about thing so im really lucky that way plus he is very happy that we bd more often now
  • yeah apart from the obvious.lol i dont get much participation in all the technical stuff. i dont think its that he doesnt want to hear coz if i tell him things he kinda listens but doesnt ask questions or anything. he quite happy to do loads of baby dancing. but then again he still thinks he is some kinda stud from first time round coz we fell first time with chloe. although id like to fall as quick again id also like it to take another month to knock him off his high horse.lol
  • My oh is of the 'lets-wait-and-see-variety'. He refuses to get wound up which is actually very helpful but I don't think he understands how it feels!
  • Perhaps your dh doesn't want to get to involved as then it seems like too much pressure to him, I remember when me and hubby were ttc and he made the hugeeeee mistake of asking me how it all works and once I finished explaining to him he had gone as white as a sheet ha ha!! and after that he had problems "performing" as he felt like we were just having sex to make a baby rather than doing it cos we wanted to.
    Caz
    13 days to go wohooooooo
  • My oh found all the details too much pressure (and I haven't even been tempted to talk to him about CM, I think it's too unreliable anyway!!) So I don't tell him now. I know he must know when I am ov in the back of his mind as he must notice the increased demand for bd'ing!! :lol: I just think it will be a lovely suprise for him when I get my BFP and I can't wait to see his face!! He can't wait to be a dad!!
  • When we first started talking about having a baby, my attitude was "let's just get you off the contraceptives and see what happens". There didn't seem to be much romance in ovulation test, taking the body temperature, and "let's do it now". By the time we decided that she would have her implanon removed, we were both very keen to conceive as soon as possible, partly due to house moving plans, partly because of having spent some time with our very cute, now 8 month old nephew, and partly just feeling like time is rushing away. Since we felt slightly hurried, we did start keeping a calendar, keeping track of BBT, got ovulation tests, etc. It wasn't always the case, but sometimes, it felt more like we were trying to make a baby, than making love, and I can definitely understand why both men and women would feel slightly awkward about that.

    Have you talked to him about how you feel? On the one hand, I can understand that he doesn't want to feel like he's just providing the semen, but it does sound like it wouldn't hurt for him to get a bit more involved. On the other hand, if you're not in a desperate hurry to conceive, why not just have a relaxed attitude to it for at least a few months? If you still haven't conceived then, it might be time to start making a bit more effort.
  • BTW, what's TMI? Still struggling with the new language, and couldn't find it in the acronym post...
  • TMI Too Much Information!
    Sounds like you got very involved with ttc anon!
    My oh isnt interested to hear about all the details as he just likes to 'see what happens' and BD. He even said to me he doesnt want to hear any symptoms I may be getting as he doesnt want to get his hopes up! (every month we get our hopes up then BFN) ttc 8 months now. xxx
  • Thanks for the explanation.

    I never said I didn't enjoy the increase in BD, and I might have suggested that "honey, just in case..." and "better safe than sorry"image

    Fiona, if you've been trying for 8 months, it probably is about time for him to get more involved.
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