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fao: just married

Just married iv just read ur reply to victoriarogers post and want to ask, do u think those that arent fortunate enough to live in a house should stick to having 1 child?

I found your response quite offensive and personal as i have been there and my boys were quite alright. I know people that unfortunately cant afford to live in a house and have 4 children in a 1 bed flat as thats all the council would give them.

U even realised u sounded snobby when u wrote it so u must have known it would cause offence, maybe u shouldnt have posted at all.

Replies

  • just wanted to add that i also found it very offensive and completely agree with u elaine xxx
  • Don't wish to stick my oar in, but I will anyway..........

    I don't think any offence was meant by the post. Sometimes it's hard to get across your feelings/opinions in these posts as sometimes you can go on a bit if you try - I know I go on quite a lot to get my full feelings through!!

    We are all from different backgrounds etc. but we all have one thing in common - we are all mums and we need each other's help & advice, hence this website.

    I hate to think that anyone could be offended by a post. We should stick together!

  • Sorry to but in but i found it quiet offensive too, i used to live in a one bed house with my lo and oh and we worked our butts off too afford it as it was private rent and now we are living with my dad so that we can save our hefty deposit to buy our own house. People work hard for what they have!! and i think ur reply was very judgmental. and although you may not have ment to cause offence. you should have thought it threw a bit better.x
  • I didn't really find it offensive and I live with 5 adults and LO in a 3 bed house (with garage conversion, so a 4 bed, but the size of a 3.) Plus 3 toddlers from 8 - 5!

    It is fine - lots of company - but sometimes I wish I'd waited till I was 30 and had a nice house! But then I'd probably get bored.

    I think what justmarried meant is that she personally would find it difficult...not that other people were scrubbers if they did...We're all different after all! x
  • Im sorry and i dont want to fall out with any of you lovely ladies on here coz ur great but the comment made was unessacary and she even said herself she sounded snobby, the comment wasnt even relavent to the original post, i think if somebody writes a blatently insensetive post with no regard for others feeling then they should be told about it,i would expect to be, but i would never wright such a thing. but nalso also think that out of respect for others that people should think before typing and word things in a better way, its not difficult.
    xxx
  • I didn't realise I had caused so much offence and I am sorry if people were offended. Perhaps I shouldn't have posted it but I felt this was the one place we could all come and swap advice, opinions, stories etc without judgement.

    I don't want to go on, and i am typing ine handed as usual as breast feeding so perhaps i don't always re read posts as i should but... I meant in my case I would find it hard having 2 little ones in a small household. Some people can manage in limited space, flimited funds, support etc, but i'm afraid i can't. I am not that strong. I am suffering with post natal depression after nearly losing my baby at birth, not seeing him born etc. not going for sympathy vote but all i was thinking was that I couldn't do it. You'll note I wished the lady well and I was happy for her.

    I think that's all I need to say. I'm sorry.
  • BRANDOLLARS YOU HAVE A POINT AND TOTALLY RESPECT YOU FOR HAVING AN OPINION, BUT IF YOU THINK JUSTMARRIED SHOULDNT HAVE POSTED HER POST BECAUSE IT WAS SNOBBY, THEN SHOULD YOU HAVE POSTED THIS ONE? YOUR ONE MAY NOT BE SNOBBY ITS JSUT YOUR OPINION BUT IT WAS DEFINANTLY ARGUMENTATIVE. YOU WOMEN ARE ALL EITHER CARRYING CHILDREN OR HAVE CHILDREN SO JUST CHILL AND IGNORE PEOPLE YOU DONT AGREE WITH WITH, THEY WONT MAKE ANY IMPACT ON YOUR LIFE. X
  • Just married - don't apologise, you did nothing wrong!!

    To everyone else - at the end of the day we are all going to read things that we may or may not agree with but the whole point of this forum is to offer advice and support to each other. After all, we are all in the same boat.

    So lets just do that :\)

    Hales xx
  • i didnt write the response to target or argue with any1, like all of u have simply said its a site for posting opinions and this was mine. She could definatly have worded it better. when i type a post or reply to a post I ALWAYS read over it to make sure it is ok to put on, and read it after its posted and if there is anything that i feel may be taken the wrong way by any then i would edit and rewrite it, its called respect.

    As u can see iv never writen any other angry post or took part in 1 so ur comment did cause offence whether it was meant or not.

    i dont want to argue with anybody thats not why i posted as im sure justmarried feels the same and there is no hard feelings on my behalf. but i will spk out on what i believe in and im sure justmarried felt the same wen she responded to the other post.

    but as u can see im not the only 1 who felt offended so my advice is in the future is to read over ur posts before u put them on. Sorry this caused a lil madness and ur right this is a support site so sorry if i got out of my pram a lil but it got my back up.

    justmarried. Sorry to hear ur going through PND, it cant be nice for you. Pls accept my apology and hope we can post together, in a nice way, soon.

    Now lets just forget this whole thing and get on with being mummys ;\)

    Elaine and boys xx



    [Modified by: brandollarz on July 30, 2008 08:15 AM]

  • Thanks. I'll admit I have been upset all day because of this silly 'argument'. I will try to re read posts from now on, although as we all know it is hard sometimes if your little one suddenly needs you.
    Let's move on, as lots of people have said. I have been dying to respond to some posts but feared to do so because of what happened. Not that I will ever post anything that could be read in any other way than positive from now on. It's hard isn't it as whatever we post I am sure someone, somewhere will be offended? For example debates on dummies, having lots of children, in laws, working vs stay at home and so on. I hope that people continue to have opinions, albeit ones that don't offend others!
    I could go on!! But will leave it by saying thankyou for your apology. I did feel very singled out. But ... I harbour no bad feelings and am just glad that we can all get on again.
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