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Am i the only one who finds it tough?

hi ladies.
2 weeks ago my little boy was born by emergency c-section and since then i've been trying to breastfeed him. he started off having 4 hour feeds which really got me down and left me in tears most of the time. midwife was really cool and suggested that we could try a couple of bottle feeds at night so that i could have a break and to hopefully encourage him to sleep better.
since then the breast feeding seems to have got better but i still feel like it just never stops. i think he uses my boob as a dummy as much as anything else as will quite often fall asleep still attached but when you remove it from his mouth he'll wake up and want to start all over again.
we have been mixing the feeds a little and now he seems to be getting a really sore belly so i'm tempted to breast feed him exclusively for 24 hours to try and help him. the problem is that i;m still really sore from the section and dont really enjoy the breastfeeding. although i dont know if thats just because he makes such a drama out of it or whether i just dont enjoy it. i just seem to be drowning in emotions and breastfeeding for 3 hours over night ends up with me in tears and him not settling down to sleep.

any suggestions as to how to make it less stressful for us all? or am i the only one who feels so useless cos things arent working. i know breast feeding is better for him and feel like i'm failing if i go onto bottle feeding exclusively but dont know how long i can go on feeling like this.

sorry for waffling.......

Gail & Cam


  • Hi hun, big hugs, sounds like you are really struggling but I promise it does get better. My little lad is 13 weeks now and feeds for about 15 mins every 3 hours during the day and normally sleeps from 7.30-7-30 with just one quick feed. If you are tired and uncomfortable could you try feeding him lying down? It takes a bit of practise but it would take the pressure off your scar and you could doze at the same time so it's worth trying. Is there someone who could take him out for an hour or two and give you a break, you'll probably find that although he wants to feed constantly at home he would be quite happy in the pram for a good couple of hours and then you could get some sleep. You're probably right that he is sucking for comfort, would you try a dummy? Or even your little finger utill he is big enough to find his own hands?
    I know it doesn't feel like it but it sounds like you are doing brilliantly, you haven't mentioned the usual painful nipples so he must be latching on well and feeding properly, well done!
    If you give it your best shot and it doesn't work out please don't feel you've failed, bfing is bloody hard for most people to start with, and formula isn't poison. Far better to give him formula happily than to resent bfing him.
    Good luck
    Kerry xx
  • Oh hunni, don't be sorry, you are not waffling is good to talk to other mums about how you are feeling, much better than bottling it all up!!

    I felt I had to reply to you as I am in a similar position. My daughter Amber was also delivered by em c-section on the 12 Sept. I am still quite sore from the section and the best position I find is to lie on my side or get lots of pillow to the side of you and put your lo on the pillow so his head is level with your boob - no pressure on your scar this way either.

    Amber feeds about every 4hours for 15mins at a time - at night it varys, last night she only woke at 3 and 7 I think it was because she only has a small feed at 7pm and then at 10.30pm she had a 30 min feed so slept for a bit longer, most nights she is up at 1,4 and then 7. As for your son falling asleep on the boob, I was given a tip by the nurses in the hospital - when he looks a bit sleepy and stops sucking tickle his face or his hand - wakes them up so they keep feeding. Soon he will be latching on so quick you wont have to worry about it. As bedhead said you must be doing fab if you havens mentioned any sore nips!!

    I express about 4oz a day so hubby can do one of the night feeds maybe try this also if you are keen to carry on feeding lo with breast milk.

    If it is still getting you down then you are not a failure if you switch to formula you have given him the best start, whatever suits you best and makes you both happy hun!

    Amy n Amber - 16 days old xx :\)
  • hi hunny
    sorry youre having such a hard time but it will get better whether its bf or ff. you are doing so well believe me i know both my boys fed like ur lo and i was on the verge of a breakdown!!! with luca i got so run down i got sent to hospital with a quincy (big lump in throat caused by tonsilitus getting very severe). getting enough rest is vital for bf easier said then done i know but there are some sneaky ways round the problem that may help.

    buy a dou ( a soft comforter they sometimes have a teddy attatched mothercare do some nice ones ) sleep with it tucked into ur bra so it smells all mummy like n comforting, then the next night put it in crib with baby it might help him settle.

    try to feed skin to skin then when ur holding him n its not feed time its a different sensation which helps him realise ur not just a milk machiene lol

    whilst feeding have snacks n plenty to drink so u dont feel too drained

    let people know how hard it is n that u need theyre support

    wake ur partner up when u night feed, i get tony up to pass me luca and to put him back in to his crib so i dont have to get out of bed it makes it alittle easier to get back to sleep.

    dont be afraid to let him cry a little bit

    and most importantly of all dont do anything that makes you unhappy, baby deserves a happy mummy how ever he gets fed!!

    hope it helps

    loads of hugs

  • Hey

    It does get easier! I also used to tickle my lo if I felt she was asleep to get her to feed more and I gave her a dummy as quite often she was feeding for comfort.

    At night time when she wouldn't settle, my dh would sleep through the feeding and then cuddle lo for a bit while I slept and thn he would settle her after 1/2 an hour or so. She usually settles after her night feeds now (11 weeks).
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