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still not sleeping through at 15 months

Ted wakes every night, always has. On a good night he wakes once or twice and then wants to start the day at about 5:45am. On a bad night he wakes 4-5 times and wants to start the day at 5am.
We don't let him sleep more than 1.5 hours during the day - 20 mins in the morning (he falls asleep as we collect or drop off his sister from school) and then 1 hour after lunch, after which time we wake him. During the day he goes to sleep on his own fine, always has, in a buggy. Never in the cot during the day. At night he also goes to sleep fine but he wakes anywhere between 1-4 times a night. We go in, replace his dummy (is this the problem?), he goes back. Usually it's not difficult to get him off, sometimes it requires a little while, some back rubbing and a silent exit. By 5am, when he usually wakes, we're so tired that we bring him into bed. Sometimes he goes back to sleep with us, often he doesn't. It used to be 4am! We've tried controoled crying but it just seems to send him the message that if he cries, we go in, things never improve.

His sister slept through at 9 weeks, from 7pm - 7am.

He never gets more than about 12 hours sleep in 24 and is often tired and grumpy during the day. He eats well. Can someone help me please? Is the problem the dummy? Is he overtired? Should I just ignore him at night? (I'm so tired that that's what i want to do) Some friends say i should put him in with his big sister for 'company'. HELP!!

Replies

  • Poor you! I am a bit like a stuck record with this but have a look at www.babysleepanswers.co.uk I've already used this book with great success to sleep train my eldest when she was 7 months and I am currently following the same process with my little one. The advice in the book is brilliant and there is a support forum that goes with it.
    hth
    xx
  • Hi

    Totally understand where your coming from my wife and I have a terrible time with our youngest all the way up until him been 2 and half ,he has only just started sleeping through.

    The things that worked where the following:

    We took him out of his cot and put him into a junior bed at 18 months (im in the trade and sell these, so that was a great help as nursery items are so expensive) that worked really well for a few weeks and then he got worse again and I mean bad. We were putting him back to bed around 40-50 times all through the night. We have just spent most of our lives shattered!

    So my advice is put your child in a cotbed or junior bed as soon as you feel its right. Taking the bars of a cot away worked for us and he stayed in the bed. I thought he wold be in and out of our bedroom all night but he wasn't.

    If this doesn't work then try him with his sister but make sure at bedtime one of them is asleep before the other. We staggered their bedtimes because as soon as they went to b ed together they thought it was playtime.

    Now he sleeps through all night and its great.

    I hope this was helpful please feel free to ask me anymore questions

    Andy



  • Luckily, Riley is a good sleeper now, but he went through a stage where he would wake several times a night.
    Im not sure wether the dummy is the problem as riley dosnt have one, is he able to put it back in himself?
    With Riley we just had to be strong and stick to the controlled crying method. Its so hard, sometimes he would cry for up to an hour!
    We made sure that he had a propper routine at night, bath, bottle then cuddle and put him down still awake.
    As soon as we left the room he would start to cry, we would then go back after 5 mins and settle him without picking him up, then wait 10mins and do the same and so on until he finally gave in and went to sleep. Then if he woke in the night, we would leave him for 10min intervals and he normally settled himself quite quickly.
    It took nearly 2 weeks for him to get it, but ever since he has been brilliant. he sleeps between 12-13 hours a night now and naps for 1 1/2 hours in the afternoon.
    It is so difficult at the time and goes against what your instincts are telling you to do but we found the rewards very worth while!!!!
    I would recomened that if you do try it, do it when you and OH will be there so you can help each other to stay strong as it is hard.

    HTH
    Naomi xx
  • Thanks to all who have replied! I really appreciate the time and effort you've put in. Do any of you think that perhaps I shouldn't wake him in the day? I limit his daytime sleep becuase when I started doing this at least he went from 4am to 5am, so I'm fearful to leave him to sleep longer during the day. Any thoughts?.

    The thing with controlled crying is that we've tried it. I got us half-way there (afterwards there were fewer wakes and rarely between 7pm-2am) but no further. His progress stopped there. And anyway, he always goes back to sleep when we go in, so there's no need to control his crying, except in the early morning (like 5am). Have any of you tried controlled crying in the morning? It's bad enough at night. In the morning it's a killer! Indeed, can it be done in the early morning? It always felt like a night problem resolution rather than an early morning waking problem resolution, if you get my drift.

    Good idea about the cotbed. He's still too young, though....

    I feel almost ashamed asking it but what do any of you think about me just leaving him all night? I mean, switch the listener off. Set the alarm for 7am. Presumably he'll soon get the message (obviously if I thought I could do it, I would have by now, but I'm kind of hoping someone out there gives me the necessary push...)

  • My little boy has slept in a cot bed since he was 8 weeks old, he is now 14 months. Do you think he may be waking because he is hitting or bumping himself against the side of his cot? just an idea. Is he warm/cool enough. Is his room dark enough, or is it outside noise waking him. Just ideas. My boy has always been good at going to bed, bath, bottle in his own room then straight into bed, he sleeps in a sleeping bag. Sometimes he wakes and we try and not go to him or if we do just give him his dummy normally settles. Goes to sleep straightaway normally all done by 7.15pm he has been an early riser about 5ish sometimes goes back or has a bottle and comes in with us and then sleeps for a couple more hours, but touch wood last few days for whatever reason has slept till 7.30am and 8.10am. Hood luckx
  • Taking away daytime naps may make him overtired and cranky and I think this wold probably make the problem worse. Napping in his cot in the day might re-enforce that this is his sleeping area. would you be able to move him there after he has fallen asleep in his buggy?

    I went cold Turkey with Isaac at 14 months he was waking 3 times in the night. The first night i did this he threw up EVERYWHERE so it was a nightmare the second night it got him off to sleep but took a heartbraking 45 mins and I had to return coz he started getting hysterical. Does he have a nightime routine? Thats the only thing that would get Isaac to go down sleep through. Dinner earlier (5.30) playtime for an hour, bath (6.30) with Johnsons bedtime bath. (got lavender in it to relax) then supper - slice of toast or porraige (SP??) at (7.30) cuddles and stories (8) then bed for 8.30. If he did wake up in the night I would sit by his cot and shush him. Touching and cuddling means he'll get something nice from mummy if he wakes (thats where I was going wrong giving him a milk when he woke)

    It may be something that he'll grow out of. Isaac has started waking in the night again sometimes but he suffers with bowel problems so I know that hes waking coz of pain or discomfort.

    Sorry for the long reply. I hope some of it may help. Let us know how you and Ted get on.

    Elaine and boys xx xx

    [Modified by: Elaine&Boys on October 17, 2008 12:01 AM]

  • My golden rule with sonny has been to never wake him up from daytime naps, the more daytime sleep he gets the better he sleeps at night. If for some reason he misses out on daytime naps he always wakes in the night so I would suggest not waking your lo up from any naps & see what happens.

    Also make sure lo is getting enoguh food in the day, hunger will wake them up too, have you tried iving a bit of ready brek before bed to top them up?
  • Hi I can sympathise as my little boy is 13months and does exactly the same, He started sleeping thru at 9months but it only lasted about 8 weeks then went back to waking again, anything from 2 - 5 time a night, then two weeks ago he started waking and I mean bouncing alert at any where between 4-5am but the last 4 nights its been 2.30am!! Wide awake and shouting and wanting to play. He doesn't even want to settle in bed with me.
    He has been in a cot bed since he was 6 weeks old and I am considering taking the bars off but as he can't walk unaided yet I am worried about him hurting himself, and I don't think he's stay in the bed either!

    I don't ahve any advice, sorry but can totally understand, I work 4 1/2 days a week and i'm on call the rest of the time too and i am absolutey shattered. i've been up since 2.30 this morning........

    maybe one day they'll sleep...................
  • hi
    It is a nightmare when they keep waking - I feel for you.I read a book called the Parent Talk Guide to sleep when my son was little as he kept waking I found the book really helpful.

    They say that the key to a baby sleeping in the night is a baby that goes off to sleep on his own in the day .So its best to put them down awake so they learn to go to sleep on their own.I think maybe he is waking in the night and doesn't know how to get himself back to sleep.Everyone wakes during the night a number of times but we just take ourselves back to sleep.
    As he is using the dummy as a sleep aid - when it fails out he can't get himself back to sleep.Is he able to put a dummy back in himself if you left him a few in his cot?.
    You say he sleeps in his pushchair in the day it could be worth trying getting him to have his naps in his cot.(I have the same problem with the school run and naps).Maybe if he can get himself of to sleep in his cot in the day it may work at night?
    Good luck let us know how its going.
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