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Hi!

Haven't spoken to you before but I think I remember reading that your oh is a chef, and was wondering if you had any tips on parenting with one! :lol: My hubby's also a chef and I worry that he'll miss out on a lot just because of the hours he puts in. Anything you recommend?

Congrats on your new bump btw!

Jem xxx

[Modified by: TrulyOutrageous on 21 October 2008 11:32:57 ]

Replies

  • Hiya!!!
    We worried alot about this too before Daniel was born. But I have to say, I think we are better off for it at the moment. Oh works from about 8am-3pm then he is home for a couple of hours then he goes back to work at about 5:45 and sometimes isn't home until gone 11. On a weekend he does one day where he works all day but doesn't start until 12. I'm not sure how your oh's shifts work because I know most chefs don't get the split shift and come home in the middle of the day.
    I have to admit it is nice to have him home in the afternoon. I get the chores done and don't have to worry about LO going on yet another adventure up the stairs or into the cat food the minute I try and do something (he is a proper little boy and is into EVERYTHING).
    It also means Daniel gets some quality time with Daddy and lots of playtime! Sometimes OH is too tired and needs a kip in the afternoon instead of hareing around after a speedy 7 month old which is fine. He always lets me know in the morning if he is gonna just rest in the afternoon so I get things done whilst LO is napping (I normally take a break and grab a sandwich and a brew when he naps).
    It is however, VERY difficult when he has to work 8am-11pm (when the other chef is off sick or on holiday) as I don't get a hint of a break all day and Daniel doesn't see his dad for a good few days when he is on shifts like that. But that is only a few times a year so...
    The one thing I would recommend you do is to make a bedtime routine from day one. We are both not routine people at all, we never had any routine before because my shifts at work before I left were just so random with each day I never ate, slept, woke, at the same time so...
    I got into a bedtime routine straight away, starting with a bath, then we have a little massage with some oil or lotion and put P.J's on. He then plays in his cot whilst I make up a bottle and we sit together on the rocking chair and I sing to him or tell a story. I then put him into his cot whilst he is still awake and kiss him and leave the room. Daddy does bedtime on his day off.
    He has slept through from a few weeks old and now sleeps from 7:30 (ish) till about 8-8:30am. Not Bad.
    He has never not gone to sleep at bedtime, even when he has teeth coming, he cries and moans all day but 7:30 he is out like a light! It is great for me to know that however good or however bad or tireing the day has been I can relax by 8pm and have me time!
    There is noone there to support me or give me a break in the evening if he were to be awkward and cry and scream and refuse to sleep in his cot so having this routine is soooooooo important when you are alone.
    Hope that helps!!!
    Hannah xxx
  • whoops... sorry for the essay lol
  • Essay away!! Thank you!

    I'm fortunate I guess in that every shift Rich does is a split (9-3 6-???), with the rare exceptions of weddings or an extremely busy day. He does have to cover all week when the head chef's on holiday but mostly manages 2 days off together (something I'll never take for granted again!)

    Thanks for the hint on bedtime routine, I'll be passing that one on. In fact, I'll be printing this whole page for him to read :lol:
  • Glad that was of help!!! The one thing I forgot to say is when baby is first born, don't get too used to Rich being there. By this I mean try bathing baby alone without any help and that sort of thing as I think that was my only downfall. I bathed Daniel with Jimmy helping every day for the 2 weeks he had off... and then all of a sudden I was by myself... nightmare. I didn't get anything ready for once he was out of the bath I got him in the bath and realised I'd left the baby soap in the bedroom etc etc. plus it is just plain scary to think you are alone with this little helpless being!
    How many weeks are you? Do you know what you're having???
    I want to find out again this time but OH has other ideas and would like a surprise!!!
    H xxx
  • Another good tip! Ta!

    It's our first, we have no idea what we're having and I'm now 4 days overdue! So frustrated it's unbelievable! Am once again getting my hopes up that something's happening tonight, but I fully expect to still be pregnant in a week!
  • lol with Daniel I had him 3 days after his due date, which also happened to be easter sunday - so OH got to miss a busy bank holiday weekend at work! I went shopping for clothes the day I went into labour as I had stretched all my tops to the point of no return and realised I wouldn't have anything nice to wear after baby was born (I think I will get more than 2 maternity ones this time lol) so i was having a nice long walk and keeping very active and labour started that night at midnight! So I say get shopping!!!
    I thought the same as you, I was convinced I was gonna end up with an induction as soon as my due date came and went!!! You focus your mind on that day and it just turns out the same as any other day.
    We found out we were having a boy but I knew anyway, I could feel it!!! You must have a 'sense' of what it is?!?! This time feels girly so I'm thinking its a girl now (or maybe just secretly hoping!). I'm only 6 weeks so still a loooooooong way to go!!! I have a little pot belly already I think its because of the short gap since last being pregnant!
    Good luck for your birth, Its the most incredable moment of your life when that little person first looks up into your eyes and you think 'I made that'!!!
    xxx
  • I went shopping today. Tried to convinve myself if I bought another pair of maternity jeans then sods law would dictate I wouldn't get to wear them. Unfortunately I couldn't find any I liked enough... Such a fussy cow!

    Rich is loving the waiting game though - his boss has been giving him weekends off so that they know they can spare him. This weekend will be his 4th in a row!

    We call bump she most of the time, and I have a feeling it's a girl, but I've changed my mind every few weeks. Rich thinks boy. We think we'll find out for definite next time but like the idea of a surprise for the first.

    I may try shopping again tomorrow, if only to get out of the house :lol:
  • 4 weekends off in a row - thats AMAZING!!! I don't think Jimmy's ever had that - ever! Mind you he is taking 10 days off now (he was last off when our son was born in march!) which is lovely for me, especially as I think the nausea and sickness is about to pounce!
    Jimmy was sooooooooooo happy when we found out we were definitly having a boy! He took him to watch the local boys football team play (and loose) a match on sunday morning! He can't wait to get him into a pair of football boots or teach him how to 'hit a six' with his very own cricket bat from when he was a little boy! Its nice to see him so keen, his dad was never really around and he only has 1 sister so he never got much of a male influence so he is dead set on being a perfect father to his son. He says he thinks this one is a boy too. More like he wants this one to be a boy too!!!
    Do you have names picked out or is it a secret?!?!
    I'm really exited now, I want to find out what you are having lol... Come on baby, make an entrance!!!
    xxx
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