Not Allowed Any More Babies!
in Baby
My oh has made it clear that we are not going to have anymore babies! Although I'm not broodie right now and wouldn't want a pregnancy for a couple of years, I wouldn't like to rule it out forever! Has anyone's oh said no more babies? What do you say to something like this? There's no way of changing his mind.
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Replies
Kerry xxx
Like I said though I only feel like this because I dont want anymore and do feel guilty knowing that oh is hoping/expecting I'll change my mind. Knowing how he would like another I can appreciate how hard it is in the reverse situation too.
xxx
He's only really got on with Gabe since he started smiling. Before that I think he was bored by him!
best wishes, I hope it works out the way that leaves both of you feeling content and fulfilled.
xx
I expected Nathan to be much easier than Lauren as I was young when I had her and thought being older and in a couple would make it easier but I've actually found it much harder.
If I'm totally honest about it I have resented having to give up "my" life. Now Lauren is older we were just starting to get time to be young and enjoy more freedom than I've had since I was 16. I've found it really hard to give up, and get really pissed off and jealous of oh when he goes out (he has to "network" for his job but its just an excuse really). I hate being at home during the day but havent been able to motivate myself to meet other mums - only this week since I went back to work have I felt sociable and contacted one of my postnatal ladies for a drink.
We were also financially quite comfortable but as my salary has reduced and unfortuntely me and oh both work in mortages so our earnings have dropped too, we actually have had to consider the prospect of losing our house.
I adore Nathan, absolutely love him but like tigerlily said of her oh, sometimes I just get bored of him - I know that sounds awful and I'll probably get struck down by lightening now but I do wish I could swap places with oh - who by the way is out "networking" now (probably why I'm so pissed off, sorry for ranting but its nice to get it off my chest as I've been carrying it around for a while).
So no, I wont have another.Sometimes I think I'm such a bad mum for not enjoying him more, the hard times seem to outweigh the good. But, then I look at Lauren and we have a great relationship and I'm so proud of her and I know that one day I'll have the same with him.
xxx
Also, if there are no real reasons to not have more (medical, financial etc) then I don't see why you would need to set a limit, what will be will be.
I feel your pain though as I'm single so it's impossible for me to have any more children in the forseeable future and that really breaks my heart.
You need to explain to him why you can't just say "no more kids" and that you need it to be left open and also, get him to explain why he doesn't want anymore
Good luck hun, Gemma
My oh couldn't tell me the last time Gabe had a bottle or had his nappy changed. He refuses (yes, refuses) to change a dirty nappy because it's "disgusting". He doesn't know the difference between a bodysuit and a sleepsuit. He doesnt know which of Gabe's clothes fit and which are too big/small. He goes out when he wants where he wants and comes back to play with Gabe for 10 minutes and Gabes laughing away!!! Grrrrr....I really wish I could swap places sometimes. My relationship is stuck in the dark ages eh
After my 1st I wanted a second within 2 years. My husband wanted to wait but I talked him round. However I had a MC so it was 3 years in the end. A couple of years later I wanted to try again as I had 2 boys and my dream was to have a daughter. HB was dead against it as he said it was too hard work (stupid man had never got up in the night, changed a nappy, given a bottle or been alone with the children).
He then had an affair, I was going to leave him but said I would give him a chance. I got a great job, was going out, made lots of friends so he didn't take care and I got pregnant. I was really p****ed off and he was really happy.
Now that the baby is here again he is fed up with my world not revolving around him and is going out all the time and I am left here running around after 3 kids. But I am sure once the hard work is over he will be fine again.
So don't worry I am sure he will change his mind in a few years. Enjoy the baby you have now and once you have time on your hands to pamper him in the future he will soon come round to your way of thinking.
I am unable to have anymore at all now as i got sterilised and Jake is perfectly happy with just Grace as he was expecting to not even have her as I shouldn't of even had her.