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TMI sorry but has anyone else experienced this

For any mummmy's out there who had an episiotamy(sp?) have you had a look down there and been okay with the results of your stitches. I am not at all. *TMI bit* it looks awfull nothing like it did before and i know that part of our bodies isn't exactly the pritiest bit but it looks horible now. the opening to my vagina looks huge and horrid and i just hate it. Sometimes inside it feels like i am wearing a tampax that i haven't inserted right, but there isn't one in there and air keeps getting caught up there and i have little (soory only way i can think to describe it) fanny farts (sorry). I really want to have sex with dh again but am so self conciuos of how i look down there and don't know what to do. was going to ask doctor at my 6 wk checkup earlier but ,as many have experienced, it was a waste of time. only thing good to come out of it was i got the pill. She didn't ask anything about my stitches letalone look at them. When i mentioned i was due a smear test she said that there wasn't any time and looked at my wee man who was crying for a feed. I would have been more likely to mention my feelings had she have done one.
Has anyone else felt like me or had the same experiences with there stitches but still gone on to enjoy a healthy sex life?
Sorry my post is so long but had to let it al out.
love fiona and hayden


  • Hello
    I didn't have an episiotamy but I did have stitches. I look different down below now to when I did before (even tho oh says it does feel any different). When I have a feel it also feels like a have a dislodged, sort tampax in. It also look spermatently like I have just has sex (swallen and red) (OMG, Sorry far to much information for the internet) I haven't had a smear as I'm not old enough. If you are worried go and get it checked out with your gp or practice nurse.

    Hope this helps and sorry girls for the TMI.

    Kerry, Freya and Bump
    X X X
  • Hi

    i had a third degree tear and ended up with two hours worth of stitches. I only dared look once, a few weeks after, and spent two days in tears as it looked very holey (It looked as though i had five holes - TMI). My GP was supposed to check everything had healed ok but when i turned up to the appointment I was told it wasn't their job and the midwife should have done it.

    It didn't take long to stop being painful but definitely took a while to feel normal and heal properly, probably 2 -3 months (I have never looked again). I can feel a line of scar tissue but thats it.

    I waited a long time before attempting sex (4 months at least) and the first few times were quite painful but that was because I was so worried. Lots of lubrication and things were better, my husband said he didn't notice any difference. I had my baby in october last year and I am currently 29 weeks pregnant so things do go back to normal.

    I was given a gynae appointment three months after giving birth by the hospital to be checked over and I was sent for an internal scan which showed everything had healed excellently. I don't know when you had your little one but perhaps making an appointment with your GP and asking to be referred back to the hospital for a check up might be a good idea even if it is just to put your mind at ease. I feel very lucky as i know i had the most qualified surgeon for the job do my stitching and my consultant has been excellent about ensuring everything is working fine down there so i would push your GP to see someone specifically qualified int hat area if you are worried.

  • hi fi!!

    you sound in an awful mess!!

    firstly, try not to worry too much at the moment about your bits - if Hayden isnt that old, it can still look like a battle zone down there. time will heal it up properly, and altho' the skin may have healed, it will still look pretty frightening!

    on the other hand, try having a bit with your bloke, but as pp said, go carefully with a good bit of KY jelly. if after a number of "goes"! it still not good, go back to your GP and ask for refferal to a gynaecologist, who could have a damn good look at your bits.

    also, dont forget that you squeezed something that big out of your bits, which is usually only used to willies, and lets be honest, no blokes willy is that big!!! many women report after childbirth / pregnancy that they never feel the same.

    the other thing about your smear is that it shouldnt be done until 12weeks at least after your birth, due to hormones etc, so you'll have to go back....... :\(
  • I had one but have still not looked...........just not plucked up the guts too! my that when I have a bath it feels like water is going in there so have to clench when I lay down/sit up. I wondered if I need to do more pelvic excersises so have been and it's got a bit better.
  • Oh honey, i know how you feel! I had the other problem, the idiot who stitched me (consultant, you'd have though he'd know what he was doing!!) Stitched me up wrong. The only way i can describe it is that a bit of skin that should have been one side was stitched to the other side, so i had a little flap of skin across the bottom part, which rubbed during sex and made it extremely painful. I was too embarrassed to speak to anyone about it and endured it for 3 years until my 2nd was born, when obviously that part tore. I explained to the midwife what had happened before and she was so understanding about it and put me back together again properly. I've felt so much better ever since.
    I know its not something you'd ideally like to discuss with your doctor, but i'm sure they will be very understanding, and can refer you to someone to help xx
  • mine hurts big time, havent managed to 'make love' lol again yet.. far too sore xx
  • sam is 13 months old and im still scared of my lady bits. ive only looked down there (properly) like 3 times. the first time i looked was a few weeks after sam was born and i cried for ages after, i felt like a monster. i never had stitches or cut (i cant spell the e word!) but it still looks completely different. im due a smear soon but i doubt i could open my legs to any nurse or doctor. ive still got lots of stretchmarks and my lady bit is definatly more chubby than it was before. xx
  • just wanted to say in response to "i am too young for smear" you are never too young anybody who is sexually active should have regular smear tests.
  • Its horrible how different everything looks, I looked at mine when Connor was 6 weeks and not plucked up the courage since, Im still toonervous to have sex again!!
  • I just wanted to say you are all in good company, I have worried endlessly and I don't get why they don't tell you in school. All I heard in school was abstinence this and abstinence that (went to catholic school) and if they'd just have laid the facts out for us we'd have all become nuns! I don't look, I figure if I was meant to look it wouldn't be so damn hard to get down there for a boo. At the same time I wish I didn't feel like I had children and was given someone else's body.
  • thank you for all your replys. Hayden is only 6 wks so i guess i still it is still quite soon and hopefully things will get better. I know what you meen about being in the bath Looby Loo. It feels so weird. have been doing my pelvic exercises as much as i can remember to and am joining a post natal shape up class in a few weeks, hopefully this will help. Will send dh out for some lube to help things out when we do try.
    Ollier you made me giggle with what you said about mens willys, it is so true! i didn't know about having to wait 12 wks before smear so will talk to my hv in morning about it when she does the wee mans checkup. have booked it for 3 dec and he will only be 8 wks then. so see what she says then.
    Thanks again ladies, love fiona and Hayden
  • i hate to challenge any one's post, but at the moment, the Department of Health only recommends asking women for cervical screening at 25 and older. the recommendations changed a few years ago from 20, and it doesnt care about how many babies / partners / age first had sex.
    the only women that would routinely be offered screening before 25 are those that are immunosuppressed - ie HIV

    click on the link below for why it recommends this etc
  • Hello Sanad and Craig
    I was told by my surgery that unless there is a family history (which there isn't) I can't have a smear till I'm 25. I'm only 23. To be honest I'm not too keen on having a smear so not overly worried about it. But If and when I am sent that dreaded letter I will go. I do think tho that the age should be brought back down again.

    Kerry, Freya and Bump
    X X X
  • i have been getting letters since i was 18, but didn't go till i was 23 when i went to get put on the pill, then had one at 25 when i moved home and now due another at 28. i didn't know about the age thing. is it universal over whole of uk as i am in scotland and i know things can sometimes be different north and sout of the border. i agree that age should be younger as a friend at work had to have cells lazered when she was only 19 and god knows what they would have found had sha had to wait till 25!!!
  • i think it was 2006 that it changed, which is why you were done before, Fi. i've always had them from 20 (now 35).

    i tend to agree with you, Kerry, that it should be 20 again, as i know 2 women less than 25 who 1 died, and 1 had radio / chemotherapy to sort it. she is unable to have children now, and would have been missed otherwise.

    as for your 19yr old friend, this is where the arguement starts - it is felt that many young women have had unnecceassry (oops) treatment to their cervix, risking the problems of cervical incompetence (RARE) in pregnancy, because it is felt that the cells collected from an "immature" cervix, result in false positives and are treated.
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