abortion - with/out scan??
in Baby
I just want to know can the hospital/dr go ahead with an abortion without scanning you?? can they tell how far you are by just doing an internal exam?? I wrote bout my sister not long ago, well we talked about it and she said she wouldnt go through with it if she were further than 12 weeeks. well her boyfriend took her to hosp for the appointment today and is MUM who is the sister of one of the wards there went with them too??? and went in every room with them, including the examination room. She said they didnt scan her just did an internal and said she was 9 weeks, now ive had 3 babies and am pretty sure you cant tell from internal exam how far someone is pregnant and surely they would have to do a scan to confirm before they went ahead with op etc. I questioned this and she got defensive, so i said i would go to hosp with her monday for the abortion cos she will be on her own, she just come back and said his mum said she isnt allowed anyone with her, not even her boyfriend! What a load of garbage! his mum is adamant to keep me away from her clearly and she is clearly lying about something, my gut instict is that she is further than 12 weeks and wants to go ahead with abortion cos she so scared of them, breathing down her kneck, i will support her whatever she does, even though she said she wouldnt, i just cant understand her lying to me!!??
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I think you should insist on going with her even if you wait outside, theres definately no rule about that! and at least you can keep that awful woman away from her!
Good luck hun!
xx
Or was it just an examination? I really don't think you can tell from an examination, you're right there. I feel for her, have you spoke to her? That's sooo not right about having no one with her as my stepsister had an abortion when she was 16 & her mum took her and went with her, again not sure if she was there for the procedure but she def went. xx
You're a lovely person Sara so i'm sure you'll do all you can to help her. I really would go with her as well, even if you stay outside or in car park etc. Keep that awful woman away from her.
xxxx
[Modified by: garfield on December 30, 2008 08:28 PM]
it is possible to tell how many weeks preg you are by doing an internal, but i've never known anywhere not do a scan to confirm! the scan shouldnt necessarily be to confirm how many weeks, but also that the pregnancy is viable (not an early missed abortion - miscarriage, or a molar pregnancy, multiple pregnancy etc)
(i've just written all this out, tried to find the RCOG guideline, and damn well lost it all!!)
when you get preg, your uterus is tucked away inside your pelvis, and it is only as it gets bigger that it moves out of your pelvis and can be felt abdominally - do you remember your early trips to the midwife when she said she may not be able to hear your babes heart beat so soon, as sometimes it isnt possible?, and then she kept feeling the top of your bump (fundus) to make sure it was growing?
the fundus isnt usually felt before 12 weeks, so if the doctor did an internal, and couldnt feel the fundus, then he would have known she was less than 12 weeks, but not any of the other things i said a scan would confirm.
if she is less than 12 weeks, usually nowadays, medication is given, to see if this can bring on a "miscarriage". otherwise, she would have to go to theatre for a TOP (termination of pregnancy). this is usually in and out in a day, as long as no complications
more than 12 weeks, NHS hospitals dont usually do the theatre trip, as it is risky. usually, they give pessaries into the vagina, to bring on "labour". this can often take a couple of days! some hospitals wont actually terminate after 12 weeks now anyway, but usually refer to another nearby hospital that will.
i dont know why her MIL says you cant go with her - most wards allow you to take people in, see them to their beds etc, even if you cant stay all day.
can you not speak with your sis on the drive in, just to see how she really feels about it all? she could end up making a massive mistake if she doesnt realise in time that there is someone who will support her.
good luck to both of you!!
xxxxxxx
As far as I know they wouldn't do a medical abortion without scanning, but the tablet one they might. They wouldn't know how preg she was from an internal examination and it's hard to feel the uterus through the abdomen in early preg. Did she say they did an internal scan or just an examination?
I have never had an abortion and I never could now- I had an emergency scan at 8/9 weeks preg with Evie and she was already a little baby.
I hope you can help your sister through this awful time- her mil sounds so vile I can't believe she has so much influence over your sister.
xxx
http://www.rcog.org.uk/index.asp?PageID=649
I personally could never have an abortion, having said that I'd (try) never to judge any one else.
however, I do know it is very difficult for you because your sister has done this before,& 'planned' this pregnancy, but like others have said she may well be under a hell of a lot of pressure & will be feeling very vunrable.
Just try to reasure her that you'll stand by her if she wanted the baby so she would not have to feel alone.
although the MIL can be stopped from looking after her-many places wont let you look after family members unless it has been put in writing to unit managers anyway-, if your sister signs the consent form, then that is that. legally she can have a TOP at any age without needing anyone else to know / signing etc - she will have also legally had to have 2 doctors sign the blue TOP document - this could have been a GP as that is more than likely how she was refered- they would have deemed that she was capable of making this decision.
the only other way it could be stopped is by legal action / psychiatric evaluation of your sisters mental health, but i dont think either of these would be considered for her, and i dont think that you would want that for her anyway?