not baby related but what would you do?
in Baby
Hi ladies
As some of you know my dad passed away suddenly just before new years eve. its been a horrible 5 weeks and lots of dark times. I have 3 really close best friends 2 of them know each other (we all went to uni) and the other i have known for 15 years. My oldest friend knew my dad well and was my maid of honour at our wedding plus her husband use to meet my dad down the pub at the weekend.
Well I have only heard form her once since he passed away she called about 3 weeks after it happened to see if i wanted to come to a play day with her kids then just didnt ask about dad till i started talking about him. She was the first person I called when it happened so she knew.
She never turned up to the funeral, never texted to say she couldnt come, then to make it worse i find out her husband hasnt been working since Xmas so there was no reason for her not to come as he could have had the kids. My other friends live quite far away but one has come down loads and i see the other every week.
What would you do? I want to call her and ask why she hasnt been in touch or supported me but i thnk i sound selfish. other part of me thinks i just shouldnt bother with her anymore - but im godparent to her kids.
im just gutted she hasnt text or called and feel like she doesnt care or even bothered that my dad has passed away.
i get so angry when i think about it but then think ' well it wasnt her dad so why would she be bothered'
she has lost family in the past and ive been there for her she also had a miscarrage which was hard but i offered her all the support i could.
am i wrong to be so angry? what would you do? i just feel so hurt by her xxx
(oops sorry for long post)
As some of you know my dad passed away suddenly just before new years eve. its been a horrible 5 weeks and lots of dark times. I have 3 really close best friends 2 of them know each other (we all went to uni) and the other i have known for 15 years. My oldest friend knew my dad well and was my maid of honour at our wedding plus her husband use to meet my dad down the pub at the weekend.
Well I have only heard form her once since he passed away she called about 3 weeks after it happened to see if i wanted to come to a play day with her kids then just didnt ask about dad till i started talking about him. She was the first person I called when it happened so she knew.
She never turned up to the funeral, never texted to say she couldnt come, then to make it worse i find out her husband hasnt been working since Xmas so there was no reason for her not to come as he could have had the kids. My other friends live quite far away but one has come down loads and i see the other every week.
What would you do? I want to call her and ask why she hasnt been in touch or supported me but i thnk i sound selfish. other part of me thinks i just shouldnt bother with her anymore - but im godparent to her kids.
im just gutted she hasnt text or called and feel like she doesnt care or even bothered that my dad has passed away.
i get so angry when i think about it but then think ' well it wasnt her dad so why would she be bothered'
she has lost family in the past and ive been there for her she also had a miscarrage which was hard but i offered her all the support i could.
am i wrong to be so angry? what would you do? i just feel so hurt by her xxx
(oops sorry for long post)
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Replies
She may have a perfectly good reason for not going to the funeral or she genuinly didn't feel comfortable with going.
Maybe she didn't know the day/time etc of the funeral. There couldv'e been lots of reasons.
I agree that i wouldv'e been really nice for her to have been there and supported you but you can't beat yourself up about it all.
There are more things to worry about in life. You could try to forget about your friend not going to the funeral for a while? Ignore it until the subject is brought up.
Its alrso very easy to get into arguments when emotions are so raw. Concentrate on yourself and your family first. Don't 'ignore" her (to me its a bit petty - but thats only the way i feel). Theres probably a very good explanation.
Chin up.
xxx
I don't mean to defend her but perhaps there is a reason. don't dwell and don't lose your friend over it. maybe she has assumed that if you wanted her you would call her - maybe just invite her over for coffee and see how it goes.
xxxx
Is it worth asking her, without getting angry or upset, why you haven't heard from her in a while?
i hope you are getting the support you need from your family and other friends tho, i didnt deal with things properly because i was pregnant and just felt i had to get on with things cos the baby was due 3 months after...but you need time to grieve. make sure you do and dont feeel guilty about needing that time for yourself
xxxxx