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What age is best to have a baby?
After the shocking pictures of the 13 year old dad (which make me feel physically ill - he looks about 8 - what happened to childhood) I wondered what everyone thinks is the 'right' age. My mum had me (her first) at 32 and she says there is no right age. My oh thinks 30 is a good age as you are more financially stable. My fil (had his first at 18) thinks anything over 25 is 'old' and thinks his daughters (24 and 26) should get a move on.
I had Gabe at 19. And I think physically it is the right age. Financially, it is crap - we cant even afford to move out - but in a way it's better as I even GOT to have money and be 'stable' so I don't miss anything. Some people say dont I miss going out clubbing etc but nowadays when I do go out up town I end up hating it, missing Gabe and wishing I was at home on BE lol. I also went through my wild age really really young and I nearly killed myself with booze one night sooooo I'm not a big drinker as it is!
I would maybe say that 25 is a good age. Most people have moved out, have careers, and have settled down.
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I had Gabe at 19. And I think physically it is the right age. Financially, it is crap - we cant even afford to move out - but in a way it's better as I even GOT to have money and be 'stable' so I don't miss anything. Some people say dont I miss going out clubbing etc but nowadays when I do go out up town I end up hating it, missing Gabe and wishing I was at home on BE lol. I also went through my wild age really really young and I nearly killed myself with booze one night sooooo I'm not a big drinker as it is!
I would maybe say that 25 is a good age. Most people have moved out, have careers, and have settled down.
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had my mad nights out, spent money on clothes etc. so i feel ive got all that out my system.
im in a loving marriage, got a job i enjoy and having jess is the icing on the cake.
everyone is different though. in my late teens and early 20's i was not ready to have a baby.
I was 17 when I had Lauren and fortunately it has all worked out really well for me but I would be devastated if she fell pregnant that young. I dont really feel like I missed out on anything, just took a different route to getting where I am but it was hard at times and I wonder if I might have gone to Uni/college if I had been able. But, I wouldnt change a thing, I feel really fortunate to have had her and love that she got to be at my wedding etc. Cant wait till shes older so we can "do lunch" together and share a bottle of wine. (much older obviously!)
I've had Nathan at 29 and thats all worked out well too. The only thing is that I would like to wait till he's at school before having any more but then I'll be 33 which given I was young when I had Lauren feels really old, lol.
Ideally I would probably say 25 is a nice age as you get to be young, have plenty of time for more but also are physically still in your prime.
As for the poor boy who is 13. He was 12 when the girl got pregnant - given Lauren is 12 now this seems totally inconvceivable. And if there ages were reversed people would be in outrage about the older boy taking advantage but this seem to have been overlooked. Like you said he looked so much younger! I can hardly believe it.
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So for me, in my opinion, it's better to have them later on.
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1. Can support a child financially
2. Can cope with it physically
3. Are committed to putting the needs of another being before your own for the rest of your life
ALL of the above. Sorry to sound cynical but I'm not a believer that love alone is always enough.
Well we saw the front of the paper yesterday and were shocked he looked like he was holding his little sister not his daughter. Also shocked as he is called Alfie so our lo is now Alf or Fred!
So what age? I think it totally depends on you. It's all about you, your circumstances, maturity and aility to care for another human being and that doesn't have an awful lot to do with age in my opinuon!
A member of my family was 16 when she had her first and he is one of the loveliest lads you'd ever like to meet. She is a wonderful Mum and I'd love to be half as good as her.
I, on the other hand, was in me 30's. I wish I hadn't waited as I worry now we won't be able to have another bubs as I'll be past it!
I think you need to be a little mindful of money etc but if you waited till you had loads of money before starting your family you'd be waiting forever!!
I LOVE being a Mum and I wish I'd got on with it earlier so I could have a whole rugby team by now-tee hee! x
I dont think there is a right/wrong age xx
The only time I regret having Gabe so young is when I see my old schoolfriends face book and bebo pages (silly I know). They are all in last year of uni, most have been abroad travelling and meeting lots of different people. I'm not jealous but I get the feeling they think I'm a bit lame being a fulltime mum.
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It really annoys me when friends and family have constant questions for me "When are you going back to uni" (never) "Are you going to go to college instead then" (nope, not now anyway). "Are you looking for a job" (yes but even if I wasn't, it wouldn't be your business!) If I was 30 and a full time mum no one would bat an eyelid lol
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I got pregnant at 21 and had Connor at 22 i think that was the right age for me, ive done the drinking thing so i havnt missed out on that, i dont mean to sound big headed but i am a caring person and have always put others needs before my own so that wasnt a shock to the system.
My OH and I were living with his mum when i fell but we both worked hard (my OH was on 12 hours 7 days and i did as much overtime as possible) and bought everything for our new flat and the baby in cash by the time i was 7 months pregnant.
I dont think theres such a thing as a right age, more right circumstances
Gill
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I must say there are pro's and con's for any age its all really down to the individual, but the initial case of a 13 year old boy being a father is absolutely shocking.
Tiger-Lily - some of those questions are asked no matter how old you are believe me, I think I have had a lot of them after each of my boys!
Anyway, I got married at 28 and then had Charlotte when I was 32. I think that was the right age for me, although I would have liked a baby in my late 20's but we had bought a new house then so wasn't the right time financially.
Great post though hon, it's really interesting reading responses!
BTW I thought you were blonde too and Gabe is definatly blonde, not ginger.
xxxx
I'm the 'right' age for all my children now in that I'm young enough to identify with my teenager and experienced/ financially stable enough for my little ones.
However I was too young when Ben was a baby and I'll be a pensioner when the babies get to their 20's.... can't have it all.
xxx