F.A.O arg - sorry if i'm pestering you
Hey arg - don't know if you remember but you replied to my post in labour and birth about third labours and i said this time i'd be planning homebirth and would probably end up completely badgering you about things. i'm only 13wks pregnant but after previously feeling petrified about the labour i'm now quite excited about having a homebirth and feel almost giddy when i visualise it - do you think this is setting myself up for a fall if it all goes pear shaped - my midwife is super and very pro homebirth but says they tend not to set any plans in stone until after 35wks which freaks me out a bit - also (sorry if i'm banging on a bit) but i've been placed under consultant led care because of the fact my little boy (baby number 2) arrived so fast and have to see her after my 20 wk scan - my midwife says its just routine if you have an obscure birth experience - but she can't insist i go to hospital can she? That's a silly question isn't it its up to me in the end i suppose. Also what did you do with your other two children?
Thank you
Jo x
[Modified by: Jojomummy on 05 March 2009 10:52:40 ]
Thank you
Jo x
[Modified by: Jojomummy on 05 March 2009 10:52:40 ]
0
Replies
I completely understand where you are coming from worrying about getting too excited in case something goes wrong but in a wierd way I think that your excitement and giddy feeling will just help it all to work out as it did with me. After so many problems with my first 2, my chances of the home water birth that I was so desperate for were probably quite slim but in my mind it wasn't an option to go into hospital. I wanted a home birth SO much and like you are now, I was so excited, I couldn't wait to go into labour. I do believe that your positive feelings help towards having a positive labour (so that even if something does go wrong and you end up going into hospital for some reason, you will still feel better than if you were in hospital from the start - I can't remember if I mentioned it before but I did actually have to go to the hospital for stitches but absolutely nothing could have spoilt the elation I was feeling from having had my baby at home and it was so insignificant compared to the wonderful day I had had that I barely remember the hospital part).
We had everything planned exactly how we wanted to and it was so empowering. When you are at home you just feel so in control of everything because you are and it prepares you so well for a wonderful labour and birth in your own home.
I actually started to have reflexology a few weeks before my due date and chose a reflexologist who did home visits so that I could get used to being relaxed at home before the labour. I would just lie in her chair for an hour and imagine what my birth would be like and feel so excited,safe and happy.
It is great that your midwife is so supportive. If a fast delivery with your son is the only reason you are under consultant care then you have nothing to worry about - the best place for someone who has quick labours to be is at home!! Yes it is up to you and they can't make you go in. The only thing which would have made me agree to go in to hospital would have been meconium in my waters but it is thought that babies pass meconium when they are stressed so if you are calm and prepared for your wonderful birth then hopefully your baby will be too.
Although everything else was planned and organised, we could not actually plan what to do with the boys as we had no-one to look after them. That would usually have stressed me a bit but I was so calm about the whole thing that I just knew everything would just work out (not ideal, but it did!) We kept thinking that baby would arrive in the middle of the night then the boys would be in bed but they were at school/nursery when my waters broke at 2.30pm and I just managed to make arrangements before the contractions came thick and fast. My oldest went to a friends after school then another friend (with 3 of her own children who then had to make arrangements for them) picked them both up and took them to their swimming lesson then drove around thinking that my hubby was going to phone when they could come home but we were wondering where they were so late after swimming had finished!) They then came home and met their new baby sister which was so special and again better being at home. My advice would be to make arrangements if poss but plenty of people I know have had their chidren around at a home birth which is quite nice in some ways too (how old are they?)
What area do you live in?
Hope that helps - am happy to give support and encouragement whenever you need it!! xx
OK i've waffled on i must learn when to stop typing - thanks ladies. Jo xxxxx
It was also a special "eat with your child" day at school and as I had started to trickle in the morning as we were taking my oldest son to school we had warned him that we might not make it for lunch but my husband ended up going while I had a wonderful hour of sleep in the comfort of my own bed then soon after he got home with me relaxed and rested I went into full labour and lo was born 2 1/2 hours later.
There are just so many wonderful things associated with my home birth and I reallly hope that you have a great one too.
It is great that your mum is so close so she can get your children if necessary. If I was being really honest, I had had to think that it would be ok and even nice if the boys were there for the birth in case we didn't have anyone to look after them, but acutally at the time it was more helpful for me to have hubby's undivided attention, a quiet, calm environment and just my baby to focus on rather than the boys around too.
Everyone knew I was having a home birth but I have never really cared what people think (am still breastfeeding my 22 month old and get comments from people but I will do what suits me and my daughter and nobody else's remarks bother me at all!). It has always been my dream to have a home water birth and no person could have stopped me! Maybe you shouldn't tell people that might be negative but on the other hand, you have made your decision and you are excited about it so just tell people anyway - it will hep you to re-inforce your decision and feel even more in control. You have our support and more importantly you have the support of your husband and your mum so no-one else should matter!
You are not waffling (as much as me amyway!) type away as much as you want to! xx
Jo x
The pool needs to be quite warm and topped up in labour - if you hire a pool it will come with a thermometer (what area do you live in?). It is definately worth having a trial go at filling it up as we found that there wasn't quite enough hot water in our tank to fill up the pool. The boys put on their goggles and had a fun afternoon in the pool. We have got some fantastic photos of all the labour (including some of just her head out looking up at us!). We really enjoy scrapbooking and I have nearly filled up one album just on pregnancy and up until her birth day!
yes, defo B&Q - just get some cheap plastic sheets.
Will you find out what you are having? xx
michelle - crash away! you and jovictoria are both due in April - can't wait to hear about your births!! Can I also pick your brain for thoughts on having a 4th child as it is an on going dilemma for me (how old are your others?) did you always plan to have 4 (or more?) children?
Jojomummy - how are you?
Michelle - thanks for telling me about your children, how is your oldest with the younger ones? Will she or any of your children be there for your home birth?
Michelle - thanks for telling me about your children, how is your oldest with the younger ones? Will she or any of your children be there for your home birth?
I think the little 2 will be at the birth as long as they are not upset (i have ordered a book called "our water baby" to read to them) my mom will be here to take them upstairs or to her house if they are upset. The oldest isn't sure she said she would like to be here but she might go to her room, she will see how she feels.
I'm more worried about the kids "playing up" and the OH shouting at them as this would totaly stress me out at the time i want to be most calm!!!
I have to say that based on my experience, I thought it would be really nice if the boys were around for the birth but they weren't and looking back I feel that the birth went so much better without them being there because I had no distractions which there just would have been if they had been there.
You are a mother and if your children are there you would still be thinking of them to some extent which will distract you.Whilst I was in the pool and 10 mins before I delivered, our friend came to pick up the boys swimming things as she was picking them up then taking them swimming and despite me being completely focused on my labour I was still thinking about the boys because in the middle of a contraction I shouted out to our friend the password to collect my youngest from nursery. The midwife said "once a mother always a mother" which is true. Maybe you should let your mum take them to her house so that you can have your hubby to yourself and you be able to concentrate on having a wonderful birth?
It sounds very sensible of your oldest daughter to see how she feels at the time. What do you think? Do you think she will want to watch? xx
I think you are right about being distracted if they are here, I think we have just got to play it by ear. Hopefully the baby will be born at night and they'll sleep through it? but maybe not! LOL
I'm not sure about my oldest? the good thing is having the LO's around has put her off EVER having kids (she say's she wants a sports car instead! LOL) She is 13 so she had got 15 or 20 years to change her mind! LOL x
Jo xxxx
My question is what months of the year were you and your brothers and sisters born in? That is the other thing that plays on my mind as I would love a summer baby but am aware that they might struggle at school -although I do have a July male friend who is a doctor. What do you think? xx
My eldest is an August baby and one of the youngest in her year but she is in the top set in all of the subjects at school. We have just been to the options evening at school and have been told she can do any subject she wants and of she wants to do more she can take extra subjects at A level even if she has not done them at GCSE! Sorry about bragging!! I'm just so proud!! With the little 2 they are both at pre school and do well they often get "stickers" for listening well! LOL we have always read to our kids every day and encourage them to look at books and play games. As they get older and have homework etc their big sister will be there to help them with anything we don't understand (i'm sure that will be alot! LOL)
I don't think the month you are born really makes that much difference both of my brothers where born in Jan and one brother left school with really good exam (A level) results and has a brillant office based job and the other left hardly being able to read (he can read but at 31 had only ever read 2 books through choice!) but he has still gone on to have a great job and be sucsessful in a more creative job. ? x