🚨 Advance warning 🚨 This forum will be closing on 1st May – please see our pinned thread for more information.
hi
it's been a hell of a week. 
I ended up being monitored on mon at hospital as baby want quite right. Thankfully she seems ok again and they let me come home, we've seen the physio and my RD is getting much worse so I'm having a special corset type support given to me next time....
(thankfully the MIL has been away on holiday so no interference form her!)
we've seen the councilor for the first session, and she pointed out things that OH hadnt realised, and also things that i hadnt realised, and got us talking about things a bit. We've started slowly though, and are starting with our backgrounds and why they are affecting us now, and over the next sessions we'll go further into those as well as all the issues we need to sort out. Eventually as well the MIL might be invited up to be a part of a session to help her sort out issues the councilor feels she has that she is putting onto OH and me. (such as being retired with too much time on her hands, seeing next door being the main carer for their grandson as his mum rarely seems to want to spend time with him, thinking that she can come and see us all the time without realising that we are the nucleus now and that we need time to ourselves without visitors etc...mainly seeing that things cannot revolve around her and her wants now as they used to when OH was single)
The councilor is fantastic. I know I sound surprised but she's better than i thought. She isnt 'straight out of school' but she is a mature lady who has life experience behind her, and dont ask me why that makes a difference, but it does...
we have been talking as much as possible, while Ollie is asleep or at nursery.
OH has admitted that he asked for a pat test just to hurt me, but has also since read what I wrote on FB and is wondering exactly why his mum says it unrepeatable as he says as much as he is upset i said that on FB he can see why, and agreed what i wrote isnt as bad as MIL is making it out to be.
He says he can see my point of view now, and that he should have been able to see it beforehand, but with work and other things he just got caught up in 'letting people do what they want' as he thought it was best... but he does say he can see why i would be upset and annoyed at that happening. I have tried to do more (RD permitting) while he is at work so that there doesnt seem to be a mountain of things for us to do when he gets home - and been shouted at for doing them as he says its too much... :roll:
We managed as well to get some things done in the garden that he was convinced he needed mummy dearest up to help him with, so I have shown him that we can manage between us.
He even took me out for dinner!
We both know we have a long long way to go before everything is right between us, but we at least know that we both want things to be right between us, which is a great start.
All we've got to do this week is see what happens with the MIL. I've suggested inviting her up for Sat afternoon, and I have things I need to do while she is here so i dont actually need to see her (think I might not be able to control myself at the moment) so OH will be talkin to her later on to see what we can sort out - its not that i dont want her to be a part of our lives, but a part is all i want her to be - not the main focus of it which is what she was wittling her way into!
Anyway, hope all you ladies are ok, and babies too. Hello to any new mummies.
Will hopefully see you all soon....
xxx
I ended up being monitored on mon at hospital as baby want quite right. Thankfully she seems ok again and they let me come home, we've seen the physio and my RD is getting much worse so I'm having a special corset type support given to me next time....
(thankfully the MIL has been away on holiday so no interference form her!)
we've seen the councilor for the first session, and she pointed out things that OH hadnt realised, and also things that i hadnt realised, and got us talking about things a bit. We've started slowly though, and are starting with our backgrounds and why they are affecting us now, and over the next sessions we'll go further into those as well as all the issues we need to sort out. Eventually as well the MIL might be invited up to be a part of a session to help her sort out issues the councilor feels she has that she is putting onto OH and me. (such as being retired with too much time on her hands, seeing next door being the main carer for their grandson as his mum rarely seems to want to spend time with him, thinking that she can come and see us all the time without realising that we are the nucleus now and that we need time to ourselves without visitors etc...mainly seeing that things cannot revolve around her and her wants now as they used to when OH was single)
The councilor is fantastic. I know I sound surprised but she's better than i thought. She isnt 'straight out of school' but she is a mature lady who has life experience behind her, and dont ask me why that makes a difference, but it does...
we have been talking as much as possible, while Ollie is asleep or at nursery.
OH has admitted that he asked for a pat test just to hurt me, but has also since read what I wrote on FB and is wondering exactly why his mum says it unrepeatable as he says as much as he is upset i said that on FB he can see why, and agreed what i wrote isnt as bad as MIL is making it out to be.
He says he can see my point of view now, and that he should have been able to see it beforehand, but with work and other things he just got caught up in 'letting people do what they want' as he thought it was best... but he does say he can see why i would be upset and annoyed at that happening. I have tried to do more (RD permitting) while he is at work so that there doesnt seem to be a mountain of things for us to do when he gets home - and been shouted at for doing them as he says its too much... :roll:
We managed as well to get some things done in the garden that he was convinced he needed mummy dearest up to help him with, so I have shown him that we can manage between us.
He even took me out for dinner!
We both know we have a long long way to go before everything is right between us, but we at least know that we both want things to be right between us, which is a great start.
All we've got to do this week is see what happens with the MIL. I've suggested inviting her up for Sat afternoon, and I have things I need to do while she is here so i dont actually need to see her (think I might not be able to control myself at the moment) so OH will be talkin to her later on to see what we can sort out - its not that i dont want her to be a part of our lives, but a part is all i want her to be - not the main focus of it which is what she was wittling her way into!
Anyway, hope all you ladies are ok, and babies too. Hello to any new mummies.
Will hopefully see you all soon....
xxx
0
Replies
Glad the councillor is so good. I know its a bit different but I refused councilling after our m/c as I thought it would be a waste of time. Eventually we took up the offer and it was the best thing we ever did so I'm glad its working for you guys. Take care and good luck for Sat (think thats a really good idea having her round at yours) am sure it'll be better than you expect. xx
Take care and look after yourself.
xx
Take care x