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What does your oh do with Lo?
As in, does he take Lo out on his own very often and if so where??
My oh has not bonded very well with Gabe at all, and I freely admit this is my fault. In the early days I had huge problems transitioning from Gabe being mine and mine alone (when I was pregnant) and other people getting to hold him, including his dad. I HAD to do all the feeds and changes and didn't let oh do anything. I really regret this, but I was bonding so well with Gabe and hormones were everywhere. It's only in the last few months that I feel comfortable with other people holding him etc!
Anyway, now, my oh just does his own thing. He works nights and I hardly see him in the week and he's busy in the day as well, what with the gym, seeing friends...and then at the weekends he's always working on his car, playing Xbox, and so on. It's really hard. I'd like us to have some 'family time' or for him to have some '1 on 1' time with Gabriel, but it's got to the stage now where Oh says he 'didn't want a baby anyway so you knew this was gonna happen'. I think he feels pushed out. And I really don't know what to do now!!!! He's gonna take Gabe to his nans today, and that will be the FIRST time in 10 months he's ever been out alone with him. What do your oh's do with your lo's?!
xx
My oh has not bonded very well with Gabe at all, and I freely admit this is my fault. In the early days I had huge problems transitioning from Gabe being mine and mine alone (when I was pregnant) and other people getting to hold him, including his dad. I HAD to do all the feeds and changes and didn't let oh do anything. I really regret this, but I was bonding so well with Gabe and hormones were everywhere. It's only in the last few months that I feel comfortable with other people holding him etc!
Anyway, now, my oh just does his own thing. He works nights and I hardly see him in the week and he's busy in the day as well, what with the gym, seeing friends...and then at the weekends he's always working on his car, playing Xbox, and so on. It's really hard. I'd like us to have some 'family time' or for him to have some '1 on 1' time with Gabriel, but it's got to the stage now where Oh says he 'didn't want a baby anyway so you knew this was gonna happen'. I think he feels pushed out. And I really don't know what to do now!!!! He's gonna take Gabe to his nans today, and that will be the FIRST time in 10 months he's ever been out alone with him. What do your oh's do with your lo's?!
xx
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Replies
He'll also sort brekkie out for her so I can have a lie in (I always have to tell him what to give her though)!
vikki xx
he never takes him out on his own becasue other than work he doesnt do anything on his own ewcept occasionally playing footy. if he goes shopping we all go together so we do things all together on the weekend. he doesnt drive so wouldnt be able to take cam to his mums or anything anyway.
im not sure how you can promote some one to one time between them really other than explaining exactly what youve explained to us here.
I think it's important for them to spend time together without me as I tend to take over if i'm there.
my oh very good, he has him when he gets back from work at 5 till bedtime at 8, accept for bathing him i do that. at weekends he does most of the changing,feeding etc, to be honest when jayden was first born i was struggling with being a mum and oh took over.. which made me not bond with jayden as quick.. untill i felt so pushed out and alone i nerly broke down since then oh has taken a step back, lol hes soo besotted with lo its soo nice to see, yeh we do things has a family every sunday we go to the carboot sale together and either a walk or a trip to the park, most sundays. xxx
forgot to had- if jayden poorly or crying then im the one who has him, he needs his mummy then lol
i suggest things they can do together, even if it just givin archie a bath, its still time they spend alone together. we have one family day a week where we dedicate the whole day to eachother and go swimming or to a play centre
Hope everything went ok with OH.
Hope everything went ok with OH.
I was gonna moan at him yest as I seemed to be doing all the feeds etc. When I asked what he was doing he said "emptying the washing machine" So I decided not to say anything after all.
We try to half everything and then spend family time at weekends. But I know when I go back to work in a couple of months I'll stop leting him do so much as I won't b e spending so much time with lo and will want to do it all myself so we'll see how we get on.
I have asked OH to start taking him swimming at the weekends so that they can have some father son time and I can have some me time. Fingers crossed it works. S x
I was gonna moan at him yest as I seemed to be doing all the feeds etc. When I asked what he was doing he said "emptying the washing machine" So I decided not to say anything after all.
We try to half everything and then spend family time at weekends. But I know when I go back to work in a couple of months I'll stop leting him do so much as I won't b e spending so much time with lo and will want to do it all myself so we'll see how we get on.
I have asked OH to start taking him swimming at the weekends so that they can have some father son time and I can have some me time. Fingers crossed it works. S x
Hope the tiime with daddy goes well tonight and you do something to keep your mind amused and off it. lol
Lisa xxx
when she was born he did help out with the night feeds and setteling her.
but now, he doesn do the baby talk to her cause he said he feels silly. he'll do nappies and a feed if i ask.
when its his day off he wants to rest. i cant remember what a rest feels like.
i think its because he's never had any contact with babies until ours. so he had no idea whats involved. im sure he thinks babaies just sit there all good.
i would talk to him but i hate confrontation.
After a rather crap night i said now does he appreciate why i am soooooooo tired most nights? He said yes.
Don't worry your not alon not all oh are fab.
love fiona and hayden on our own again;-(
I can't believe how good some of your oh's are...I really can't! I know where all the good men are now ... you lot stole them all
Bathing Gabe, reading his story, giving his bottle and putting him down has always been my job...which is odd as in a lot of households I know this is the 'man's job', my dad always did baths and bedtime stories with all his kids, same with my friends and their dads. Maybe it is different for girl and boy babies. Mummys boy and daddys girl, and all that, and Gabe def a mummys boy
xx
I've seen a t-shirt in Mothercare with that one and will get it for her.