🚨 Advance warning 🚨 This forum will be closing on 1st May – please see our pinned thread for more information.
Looks like I am joining you!
Hello
Well my husband has decided he has had enough of this life and is leaving! And to top it all he blaims me. Let me tell you what has been going on and see how it looks to you guys...
He works away for 2 months at a time then usually home for a month, but sometimes has to go back early. He left when lo was 3 weeks old and came back when he was 3 months. It has been the hardest year ever for me learning about a baby and bringing him up to a gorgeous healthy 1 year old now. I absolutely adore him and we have a very close bond. Everytime oh comes home it takes a week usually for lo to get used to him and oh has a problem with how clingy he is to me at these times.
He was back 2 days this week and then on the third day said we were finished because I make him feel like a spare part, he doesnt get a look in, doesnt bascially get the same attention he used to and well...the big thing is sex. He said we used to rip each others clothes off 24/7 and now if we dont have it for 1 day, he is in a huge sulk the next day and until we do it again! Bare in mind we still have it 6 days out of 7 but because it is not as adventurous as it once was and I dont have quite the same enthusiasm, well thats the end of the world and basically the demise of our marriage! The more I think about it and write it down, the more annoyed I am. I cant believe he is so selfish and is giving up his family for the sake of a bit of sex and attention on him! He cant handle the change and says I love lo too much and am too obsessed by him. He seems to forget we have had to get on with things alone and I have subconsciously perhaps made up for 2 parents...oh dear...crime of the century...surely its better that I have showered him with love in the absence of his daddy.
He has gone away for the weekend now to see a friend. I feel ok and this has made me see him for his true colours now. I also think hang on, I should be leaving you not this way round. I have never pressured him into giving up his work away and just got on with things as best I can. And this is the thanks I get! He also does very little with lo...I think when he gets in the door he should be wanting to do everything with lo but no. He thinks it is 'wierd' to bath his own baby may I add!
He also said I will be really nice and chatty with him and give him a cuddle then might not again for 4 hours! Can you believe he is counting?! Excuse me for looking after, feeding, changing etc lo.
I have made an effort by agreeing to go to a hotel for the night with him but that was supposed to be last night and well, we never even got there. I didnt want to as find it hard to leave lo, but still do when he is home as know some time is important. But nothing was enough and he cant take the change.
So thats it basically. I cant believe it really. I am so gutted that I had to find a guy who would end up like this ... I dont know whats going to happen from here but will keep you posted as will be a regular on this forum now for sure.
Well my husband has decided he has had enough of this life and is leaving! And to top it all he blaims me. Let me tell you what has been going on and see how it looks to you guys...
He works away for 2 months at a time then usually home for a month, but sometimes has to go back early. He left when lo was 3 weeks old and came back when he was 3 months. It has been the hardest year ever for me learning about a baby and bringing him up to a gorgeous healthy 1 year old now. I absolutely adore him and we have a very close bond. Everytime oh comes home it takes a week usually for lo to get used to him and oh has a problem with how clingy he is to me at these times.
He was back 2 days this week and then on the third day said we were finished because I make him feel like a spare part, he doesnt get a look in, doesnt bascially get the same attention he used to and well...the big thing is sex. He said we used to rip each others clothes off 24/7 and now if we dont have it for 1 day, he is in a huge sulk the next day and until we do it again! Bare in mind we still have it 6 days out of 7 but because it is not as adventurous as it once was and I dont have quite the same enthusiasm, well thats the end of the world and basically the demise of our marriage! The more I think about it and write it down, the more annoyed I am. I cant believe he is so selfish and is giving up his family for the sake of a bit of sex and attention on him! He cant handle the change and says I love lo too much and am too obsessed by him. He seems to forget we have had to get on with things alone and I have subconsciously perhaps made up for 2 parents...oh dear...crime of the century...surely its better that I have showered him with love in the absence of his daddy.
He has gone away for the weekend now to see a friend. I feel ok and this has made me see him for his true colours now. I also think hang on, I should be leaving you not this way round. I have never pressured him into giving up his work away and just got on with things as best I can. And this is the thanks I get! He also does very little with lo...I think when he gets in the door he should be wanting to do everything with lo but no. He thinks it is 'wierd' to bath his own baby may I add!
He also said I will be really nice and chatty with him and give him a cuddle then might not again for 4 hours! Can you believe he is counting?! Excuse me for looking after, feeding, changing etc lo.
I have made an effort by agreeing to go to a hotel for the night with him but that was supposed to be last night and well, we never even got there. I didnt want to as find it hard to leave lo, but still do when he is home as know some time is important. But nothing was enough and he cant take the change.
So thats it basically. I cant believe it really. I am so gutted that I had to find a guy who would end up like this ... I dont know whats going to happen from here but will keep you posted as will be a regular on this forum now for sure.
0
Replies
I just wanted to say, I FEEL YOUR PAIN. I had exactly the same situation with my son's dad. He worked all the time as he has his own business. I spent all my time with my lo. When he'd see him for the first time in weeks or months I'd expect him to 'want' to feed him as he'd been missing him SO much. But nop "can I do it tomorrow...". It must be a man/woman thing because I cannot imagine being away from my baby for one day and the times that I have, I just wanted to get back to him as soon as possible.
Move on, and find someone that WANTS to spend time with you and your child, thats what I plan to do.
As for the sex, MEN..... Again I had the same problem, but its just an excuse to make it your fault.
Im a single mum once again,since recently splitting from a guy i had been with since last summer,thought it was going well but seems he just doesnt want to commit,thing is im a mum and i need to take my child into consideration,i dont want men in and out of my life,or a casual thing,i want commitment.Now im planning on not settling for anything less,someone who wants me and my son and who will treat us both right!
I think Linzi~(over in baby forum)hit the nail on the head for your story Amoss,your oh needs to do some deep thinking and realise just what he is loseing,its a shame to many men out there throw it away so easily,and for stupid selfish reasons most of the time.I suppose it really is different for us mothers,the bond we feel is stronger and so natural i guess some men struggle with this,being big kids themselves they need and want all the attention lol!!
I dont know were you will go from here but protect yourself and dont let him bring you down too much.
Tinkerbell its hard when the feelings are still there and having a child creates a bond with that person that is hard to shift,evenings are difficult times i agree,i get very down and lonely.
Though its hard i think time helps and i believe nothing stays the same for ever(well i hope not)so i wish us all happiness and better luck x