Not sure whether to have a second or not??
Hi everyone.
When I was younger I always said I would never just have one child. Being an only child myself I often felt lonely, particularly on holidays and was extremely shy. Now I have Jacob, who is nearly 8 months, I'm quite surprised that I'm feeling unsure about another one. The weird thing is I keep thinking i'll feel sorry for Jacob if I have a new baby as he'll miss out on stuff. Not that I would ignore him ofcourse. I then can't imagin loving another baby the same as it won't be that first special one. Obviously I'm assuming that it would be nice for him to have a sibling but why am i soooo confused!!!
How did those of you feel that have had or are having a 2nd baby. Am I jus being really stupid feeling like this.
Jules ?
When I was younger I always said I would never just have one child. Being an only child myself I often felt lonely, particularly on holidays and was extremely shy. Now I have Jacob, who is nearly 8 months, I'm quite surprised that I'm feeling unsure about another one. The weird thing is I keep thinking i'll feel sorry for Jacob if I have a new baby as he'll miss out on stuff. Not that I would ignore him ofcourse. I then can't imagin loving another baby the same as it won't be that first special one. Obviously I'm assuming that it would be nice for him to have a sibling but why am i soooo confused!!!
How did those of you feel that have had or are having a 2nd baby. Am I jus being really stupid feeling like this.
Jules ?
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Replies
I've been with my husband for 16 years (makes me feels ancient saying that though I'm 32!!). We decided to wait to have children due to work etc. We now have 2 gorgeous girls who are 29 months and 16 weeks. We knew as soon as we started having children that we didn't want a big age gap between them. I'm one of 3 children and so is my husband and loved growing up wih brothers and sisters.
My hubby has a brilliant bond with our eldest and was genuinely worried that he wouldn't bond with our youngest. He couldn't see how we would find the time for them both and enough love for the new baby. I can honestly say we both feel the same love for both of the girls, it's amazing. Though it's difficult we try to give both of them individual quality time each day, yes it's not as easy as with one but it can be done.
We love the fact that they will be company for each other and will have each other to play with....now I need to work on hubby for baby no.3!!!!!
I know the feeling! I've had exactly the same thoughts about whether I could love a 2nd baby as much as Louise. And how to cope with having 2 children wanting my attention and having to try to meet both thoier needs as well as mine and dh's!
I guess though that if/when number 2 comes everything will fall in place and the 'love' will be there!
no offence - but - children woth no siblings do often have different social skills to those with silblings - having a sibling gives both children someone to play with, share with, have fun with, argue with - but learn to resolve issues with........etc
Lisa
[Modified by: Loopy Loo on March 10, 2009 12:02 PM]
I quite agree Lisa that it would be of a benefit to him to have a sibling. As i said I was so shy and quiet and it took me a long time to overcome that. My parents were very protective tho. I was adopted, an only child and a girl so guess had it all going against me , lol.
Jacob is such and angel and so well behaved and laid back. Everyone comments on how good he is. With the saying no 2 are ever the same I guess I dread that the next one would the absolute opposite.
sarah
My oldest dd was an only child for 9 1/2 years and she hated it! we had the money and took her every where (dancing, horse riding, swimming etc) and spent time with her. but she was really lonely! now i have 2 other children and another on the way and they love each other! they fight a lot but they also play together all the time! and God help anyone who gets between them! LOL
I know how you feel about how could you love another as much but you do!!!
x
Also - I totally feel like I could never love another as much! its an awful feeling!!
xxx