how do i move on?
how do i move on iv tryed but it hurts so much. I still love him even thow hes treated me like shit but it ent gona happen its gone to far but i just dont no how to move on and look to the future.All ive dont is cry 4 the past few weeks since he has gone how did u lot get over your ex especially being pregnant how do u look forward and b positive im just do depressed and cant snap out of it i dnt no if its cos im 30 wks gone now or what i just dont no pls help me xxx
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Firstly, I do understand the difficulty of your situation but I think you need to live up to yourself and accept certain truths, Your ex is a bastard and a bad man. Your previous ex to that was also a bad man. You may be 20 something with 4 kids but I think you should understand you won't have to live alone without love for the rest of your life if you take the time to attend to yourself in a right and proper manner but you may find yourself with more children and more heartbreak if you do not take time out to attend to your needs as a person.
You knew of your ex's previous history with his other children and you still allowed yourself to get in your current situation, you knew you had 3 three children already and one with disabilities, So you must have understood number 4 would add to that work load. It also sounds like it was a mega effort to conceive number 4. There is something additional in your need to have a partner that prevents you from just attending to your current family. Lots of women who need to relocate across the country because of a violent ex find they don't have a partner again ever or for along time but you have gone for another heap of trouble.
You need to respect that as a human being you have the conscious power of free will and the ability to be discerning and make choices. You have made some poor choices but that does not make you a bad person. You are young and can learn to make better choices and good strong positive choices which will benefit you in the long term. Then you will have a better life.
I know this may sound unappealing but I sincerely believe you need to approach your gp, explain your ex and current partner and ask to see a therapist or counsellor. You need someone who can talk you through your issues and guide you to making better choices. I think you might have low self esteem and confidence even if you cannot see it because you let these people disrespect you so much and then still cry for more. be better than that.
You are a mum responsible for the outcome of 4 children who will be adults one day, that is a big deal, do right by them and yourself and that will be a big reward.I believe you can do it and turn your life into a better place.
good luck
It sounds like you have a real desire to be loved, which we all do but your letting it cloud your judgement, just beacause someone is good to you doesn't mean we should open up our lives to them. Take some time to look after yourself and your babies cos that is all that matters. I completely agree with her that you should speak to your GP you are putting yourself and your baby at risk with this depression, do it now before the baby is born or it could quite easily turn into postnatal depression.
Do not give this man the satisfaction of taking away what should be a joyful time for you. Look after yourself xxx
You might not realise it but whilst reading what you write about him it comes across as though you'll hope he'll change , he won't he is using your words, a "prick".
There is nothing wrong with having a sob and feeling sorry for yourself just don't let it take you over, you have 4 very special reasons to live for and will give you more love and joy than any man can.
Take care chuck xxxx
Its hard,you are carrying his baby and feel so alone and unhappy so its difficult not to always be thinking of him,and going from hating him,to wanting him!!!
I know,i was there myself awhile ago bt im here to say it does get better and easier,im nying that i takes awhile and it hurts but it happens.
I had a good relationship with my sons dad for the first year or so but then it all seemed to go wrong,there was violence and we were very much on and off..i had finally decided it was over when i found out i was pregnant...he promised to change and be the sort of person i needed im to be for me an r unborn child,deep down i just knew he couldnt become that person,it would take maturity and selflessness all things he is not!!!
To cut a looong story short,he failed,I was alone throughout most of my pregnancy,when i took mat leave i cannot describe the feelings of lonilness and pure depression i felt!i cried all the time and really was making my self ill,i didnt know how i coud go on,it wasnt so much thate and my ex were not together but that he had left so easily at a time that should be special and shared.i felt very much unloved and alone!
I just kept looking to the future and thinkince baby was here and i returned towork ect things would improve,i admit a part of me thought maybe once baby was born my ex may change and come good too!!!
Now My son is 19mths,im in a new relationbnship,hardly ever see nor speak to my sons dad!we usually end up arguing if we do,because yep you guessed hes still the same person,he does not work or help hugely to provide for his son,but imer it all now,hes Bens dad i want them to have a good relationship,and bens dads failings are his own,one day he will maybe have to confront them..this is all his own problem
Im building a good life for me and my son and im proud of myself!!! I refused to waste any of my time on wondering or worrying about Bens dad a looong time ago,you should do the same!!
I know right now it doesnt feel possible but you have to move on,he isnt worth it you know this,be a better person and let him go!!
As others said your young and have plently of time to find real happiness...and you will!it will never be with your ex though!
Take care hun,i know some of what you feel but im just one example of someone who moved on and now can say it was the best thing i ever did lol x