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What Would You Do?

Hey everyone, just a bit of a "what would u do" moment lol...

When i found out i was pregnant my OH decided to get back in touch with his dad who he hadn't seen for over 10 years, anyway since JJ was born he's been round about once a month (about 6 times). Today OH got a phonecall which started as "i need to borrow ur baby" so OH asked why and apparently his dad had booked a photoshoot for JJ and his new wifes' grandaughter, this phone call was at 1.30pm and he wanted to pick him up an hour later and said he'd bring him back in about 2 hours! Anyway, we have never let anyone take JJ, even people close to him! We've had my mum look after him for an hour or so in our flat but that's all! So we made excuses and bascially his dad isn't very happy...what would u have done? Would you have let ur LO go off with someone they hardly know even if it is family? I hardly even know him and to be honest even tho he's OHs dad HE hardly knows him either as he hadn't seen him for like 10 years!! I'm just worried this is going to happen again, i don't know what i should say to them, should i let them take him?! x


  • NO!!!! I wouldn't let him take him, it's not fair on your or your lo. As a comprimise you could have gone along with your lo to the photo shoot.

    I do think it's oddt that he started the conversation with 'I need to borrow your baby'!!

    [Modified by: Loopy Loo on March 17, 2009 05:08 PM]

  • I would NEVER let Oscar go off with someone he didn't know, let alone someone i barely know myself, even if it was a family member - i think you did the right thing hun, who just phones up on an hours notice and asks to borrow your baby?!! I know it might put your OH's dad's nose out of joint, but did he seriously think you would just give him JJ just like that? xxx
  • yeah and the weird thing was he came round last night and didn't mention a thing!! x
  • No i wouldn't either and agree that "i need to borrow your baby" is a strange thing to say.

    just because he's related to JJ doesn't automatically mean he can play grandad whenever HE feels like it.
  • I agree that it would be inappropriate for him to take the baby. a photoshoot can be a scary place. I would have gone along too if it fitted in, otherwise it's a case of sorry - not convenient, give me more notice and WE'D love to join you.
  • they seem very set on the idea that they want him alone, they said to me at his christening that they wanna be involved and that they want to look after JJ when i go back to work (ermmm noooooo)!!! x
  • Is his new wife very close to her Grandchildren? If she does then I wonder if he has decided that he would like, like her to have a good relationship with his. Either way he is being a bit bull in a china shop. I definately would have done the same as you and if he doesn't like it then its tough.

    Maybe he needs to realise that relationships need to be built on and he can't be Mr Pepperpot overnight.
  • how very odd!

    My mum has louise and she does like to have Louise on her own as they she gets her all to herself! But I trust my mum so feel happy leaving her with her. But she's never made a big thing of 'wanting her alone' it's always been me asking her to have her. Also louise knows her well from visiting her lots. Even though Louise knows her other grandparents well I wouldn't feel as comfortable as they wouldn't know what to do with her and find her exhausting when we visit!

    I think that if they really do want to be 'more involved' it would be better if you could do activities together! And when JJ is old enough, when he can talk, ask for things etc then maybe they canhave him on his own.
  • No way! Not someone who has seen them so few times, only someone my lo and I knew and trusted very well. I wouldn't have made excuses, I would have told them that it wouldn't be fair on lo to send them away with someone who really doesn't know them well and certainly doesn't know what is making them upset or how to comfort them. I would have thought that it would be obvious to your fil that he can't just 'borrow' him! Couldn't you or your oh have gone with them to the photoshoot?
  • No, I wouldn't let anyone have her unless I knew them damn well. And even if one of THEM said "I need to borrow your baby" with less than 24 hours' notice I'd say, erm, NO!
  • Not a chance!

    We don't have much to do with our dads and of one of them came after the years we've not seen them and asked i'd say "hell no!" If its someone we don't mind but don't want taking them out we will just say both are poorly. With Grace its easy because she can't stand anyone other than me and sometimes her daddy so thats our excuse for her. lol

    Theres loads when you think about it. lol.

    Lisa xxx
  • No way at all would I have done it!
    Ellie's dad didn't see her for 7 months, walked away when she was 4 weeks old, took me to court expecting to be able to just come & take her unsupervised because 'he is her dad' until he got a short, sharp shock in the form of that baby doesn't know who the hell you are there's no bloody way she's going anywhere with you!
    he still now almost 5 months down the line sees her twice a week in my company because i don't feel she knows him well enough to go off alone & him with her. i have to remind him to change her nappy, feed her, clean her face...all the wee dopey things we do all the time. he'd sit & play with her or take her out in the car & it wouldn't occur to him that she'd need something doing so until he is able to do these things without being prompted he won't get her.

    i think this all sounds very strange the lack of notice, his insistence on having JJ on his own, hmmm bizarre in my opinion.
    Best thing is to explain to him that JJ doesn't know him, you & OH don't really know him & it'll take time. Yous will always be there so no rush etc.
    Good luck xox
  • thanks girls, i'm glad i wasn't unreasonable...i don't wanna fall out with them cuz i know OH is really happy to have his dad back in his life but i have to put JJ first image x
  • hmmm, what a strange request. You definitely did the right thing. I take it your oh was in agreement with you?

  • yeah he was mrs satsuma, the look of horror on his face while he was on the phone was quite funny lol! x
  • I would have said no to him taking him but i would have gone with them. TBH i cant imagine a baby being very happy having its photo taken without mummy or daddy there.
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