What would you do? UPDATED

I was planning on going to a baby group at 12pm today which I have booked onto, but Skye has been sleeping since 9.30am and is still asleep. This is very unusual for her, but she is on some medication for thrush. Even if she woke up on time, she would need feeding and I would be late for the group anyway.

What would you do if you had planned on being somewhere by a certain time but your baby was still sleeping?

Would you go to the group no matter how late it was or would you forget about going?

well I did go in the end and was 15 mins late but group was just starting. it wasnt a baby group as such but more a 12 wk course for parents called "its ok to bea parent" at a childrens centre- but not what I expected at all. there was a creche available but I didnt use it as skye was 7wksand didnt want to leave her. Anyway i got there and skye started crying to be fed so I asked if I could feed her and the woman said yes but some parents may object who had not yet arrived, plus she had cheek to say will your baby just sleep afterwards. .So off i was sent to another room on my tod thinking what is the point of being here as I am going to miss it anyway, plus I felt really annoyed by her comment about skye sleeping afterwards - bloody el she is a newborn and unpredictable. About 5/10 mins after, they came back for me, I was now feeling like I want to go home, but they asked me if I wanted her to check with the other parents if they objected to me b/feeding, I said yes, and the parents were ok so I joined the group in the end. Not very chid friendly in the end. Still deciding whether to go back next week.

But your advice is very useful as I am often stuck indoors either waiting for her to wake up, or have her next feed before I go out.

[Modified by: sevans on 19 March 2009 16:23:35 ]


  • How old is she???

    I personally would wake her up and go as that is a LONG time to be sleeping!!! If she is really tired she will go back to sleep while you are there and it doesn't matter you can still chat to the mummies and stuff and if she doens't go back to sleep then even better!
  • could you not feed her at the group (I think ur bf if i remember right?)

    i used to take Ollie anyway, and when he woke up feed him wherever we were...

  • If it was me, I would leave her to sleep then feed as normal and then see how much time I have left. If it's close by you could still go for a little while and just explain the situation. Or you could feed her at the baby group?
  • shes 7 weeks old. Well I decided to touch her hand and this woke her up so am now b/feeding her. so will see about goin even if i am a bit late i think the medication has made her drowsy.
  • How long does the group go on for? I'm sure it wont matter if your late, at the one I went to this am, some people turn up at 9.30 when it starts ut generally people arrive from 9.30 till 10ish. It ends at 11am. Lots if things happen when you have lo's that make it difficult to arrive places on time!
  • If it were me I'd leave her to sleep but go to the group and just feed her when I got there (assuming that she will stay asleep/not yell for a boob whilst in the car or pram on the way there).

    Did you go in the end?
  • I had this with an nct group I went to. I just moved him to the car seat (normally waking him up) and went. I then bf him as soon as I got there as he stayed wake as he was hungry.

    My view is that sometimes you do have to make appointments and they must get used to it so the earlier the better.

    One way to look at it is if you were having to get to work would you have to get them up? or can you let them sleep?
  • If that was me I would tell them where to stick their bloody group!! I'm sorry but how dare they send you to feed in another room? I'm fairly sure that under discrimination laws that is actually illegal. Sorry you didn't have much fun, hopefully next time you plan something like that it will be more worth making the effort for.
  • That sounds awful hun - i would feed my baby whether other parents were offended or not!! It's not up to them if my baby eats or not, and you would think other parents would sympathise! If i were you i wouldn't go back, and i would complain to boot - there are plenty of FRIENDLY baby groups out there where you will be welcomed with open arms no matter if your baby is hungry, crying, awake or asleep - i think you were so brave to join in with the group when you were so unsure about going though xxx
  • cheeky cow it was a bloody parents group why should they be bothered by you feeding your lo!!!!

    well done i going and keeping your cool! lol

  • but they asked me if I wanted her to check with the other parents if they objected to me b/feeding

    WHAT????? How bloody small minded and horrible it sounds, personally I would have told them where to go if they had a problem with me bf feeding my lo - they should rename the group "its ok to be a parent but dont feel like were going to involve you if you bf"....
    how would the parents feel if you objected to a lo being fed by bottle? there'd be an uproar.

    sorry but thats infuriated me!

    of course you dont want to leave your 7 week old baby in a creche with people she or you dont know, completely understandable - was it the parents that were uncomfortable or just her trying to make out they were to cover her own feelings...?

  • The person who was running the group was obviously someone they bought in = like one of these management consultant people who is just paid to do a job, rather work in the centre. So she probably isn't use to these distractions. Maybe I am best not going back cos I can't plan what Skye is going to be like each week. To be honest, when she and one other woman (who I think worked at the centre) came back to get me, I said the Centre woman - the group wasn't probably for me and I should just head back home as I can't plan what happens with a newborn and she said well you may has well stay cos you made the effort to come.

    This was the first time I had actually spoken out at a place and asked if I could feed my baby - wasn't the reaction I was expecting especially since it is my 3rd time b/f in public now.
  • Oh that's a shame it wasn't so good. How rude to make you go into another room. Might be better next time.
    When my lo was that age I was exactly the same and only went out after his naps and once I'd fed him. Was home in time for next feed etc. But you get into the swing of things and it's good that you went out and fed him today while you were out. Next time you go out and feed it won't be nearly as stressful honest. S x
  • Honey you don't have to ever ask if it's ok to feed your baby - i know it feels like you do have to ask sometimes but with time and a gain in confidence you'll be flying! I remember what a big deal it was to feed in public - and TBH sometimes it still does feel like an achievement 6 months on if i'm out of my comfort zone - so do what you feel comfortable with, but don't let this put you off any future ventures you and your lo go on! image xxx
  • That sounds really crap that you can't bf at a parents course!!!! If they are taking that attitude then who exactly is the course aimed at???????

    Thankfully most of my girls in my group bf and it's given me confidence to bf nearly anywhere. We now regularly take over cafes and have never had any complaints.

    If you are concerned ask your coucil childrens services. We have a local scheme and a booklet that's published detailing which shops and restaurants have bf areas/services, baby changing facilities or are just happy for you to bf even if they don't have anywhere private.
  • I'm so sorry (and so shocked) that you were made to feel uncomfortable for bf at a parenting course of all places!

    As the others have said, although I suppose discreetness is polite for the sake of anyone who's going to feel uncomfortable at the sight of a boob (shock, horror) you should still NEVER have to ask anyone's permission to feed your baby.

    I would definitely phone up the centre and perfectly politely feed back that you won't be coming back for xyz reason.
  • How ridiculous!! Consultant or not, the idiot must have realised the complete hypocrisy of running a class entitled ???????it's okay to be a parent??????? and then creating such a fuss because a baby needed feeding (in the way nature intended). I understand people may not want to see bf'ing in restaurants etc. but at a course for new parents??! Ludicrous. I hope you didn't have to pay anything for going.
  • Wow!!! I cant beleive that! You should have been asked if YOU feel not comfortable feeding infront of others, not if they feel comfortable, they dont have to watch!!!!!

    Such a shame after you made the effort to go out.
  • OMG that is outrageous! Can't believe at a parents group you were sent off to hide so you could bf. I've bottle fed both of my babies but no way would I have a problem with a mum breast feeding her baby in same room as me. For god's sake it's only a boob!

    I had opposite prob at my baby massage class- I was only bottle feeder there and was looked at like a 2-headed monster lol!

    But well done for getting your lo up and getting to the class, it's an achievement with such a little baby. Hope you can maybe find another group which is a bit more friendly and tolerant.

  • I too am shocked this woman reacted this way! At all the groups I go to there are 'You are welcome to breastfeed here' signs and stuff!! I wouldn't go back if I were you. How awful of them to have to 'check' with other people that it was OK if you bf there? ooooh my blood is boiling lol and Gabe is an ff baby.

    Now Gabe's older I keep him awake for a lil bit longer if we're due to be somewhere, then he sleeps in his pram on the walk up there, he loves to sleep in his pushchair as you saw lol xx
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