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OH Rant- Christening

So fed up with my OH!! ARGGGGHHH

Basically, yesterday we booked Charlotte's christening. We had decided who we wish to be Godparents. We have decided on my brother & sister and my OH's 2 brothers. We (especially I) wanted siblings as it means more to have close relations and people that have a special relationship to/with Charlotte. We agreed not to have their respective oh's as there would be too many and I don't want it to turn into a circus!

So, we have asked my sister, not my brother yet as can't get hold of him. OH asked one brother earlier today and then a bit ago asked the other. Everything was going fine until the final brother started asking why we weren't having his partner as a Godparent. He was quite put out and said that you are supposed to have couples. Is this correct - I didn't think so. I thought you had whoever you wanted?

So, this got OH started on me telling me we should ask all oh's. Why should we?! I don't want people being her Godparents just for the sake of it. Oh was saying I should explain properly to people the meaning of it, and I've told him the wrong meaning et etc. WTF!! Why is it up to me to find this out. He's her parent too! Anyway, my brother doesn't have an OH at the moment so I wouldn't want him to be "the odd one out".

I just wanted it to be very intimate and have close relations as gp's. OH said "well I have a couple as my gp's = he never bloody sees them. That's why I want close relations as the relationship and support will always be there.

So now I feel like her christening has been ruined already. I was hoping there wouldn't be any sillyness like this - had enough of that with my bloody wedding 5 yrs ago!! Not speaking to him now (yes, Charlotte is the most mature person in our house)!!

Do you think the people we have chosen are ok - would you have had OH's too (remembering she would then have 7 Godparents). And can anyone clarify if you HAVE to have couples??!

Sorry it's been long xx



  • That was in the back of my mind too - what if they split up.

    My brother split with his oh and she is all over our wedding piccies. And people slated me then for wanting just close family piccies! In the end I was right to want them (but didn't get them).
  • I don't know the Christian 'rules' but I know lots of people who are a godparent but their oh's aren't. I wouldn't bow to the pressure, at the end of the day you have chosen them based on Charlotte's best interests and you need to keep stressing that. Partners unfortunately aren't for life anymore so I think it's great you've picked people who will always be around!
  • Why do these sort of events always cause issues?? Darcy is getting Christened next week and I can't wait for it to be over! Sounds awful but fed up with all the grief!!
    I think you should do what you want. You don't have to have couples at all we aren't. We are having two of my close friends and two of oh's close friends. None of the partners are going to be. 8 would be mad!
    The only stipulation our church gave was that one gadmother and one godfather need to have been baptised themselves. Other than that you can have whoever you like and how many you wish. that's what we were told anyway.

    Stick to you original decision. Good luck xx
  • No, you don't have to have couples. My husband is being a godparent for our niece at her Christening next w/end, but I'm not. They have just asked people who they are particularly close to. Besides which, I will always be in our niece's life as her aunty, even if I'm not a godparent.
  • And another thing!
    I saw a lovely christening dress on ebay complete with a bolero jacket. It was only ??27 for the outfit but OH told me not to buy it as it's too soon. So stupidly I didn't. I know what he means but it was so nice and I might not see another one like it.
    Just call me Mrs Doormat!
  • You definately don't have to have couples. Traditionally you get 3 godparents, if it's a boy they have one godmother and two godfathers, girls get two godmothers and one godmother (and I have absolutely no idea how I know that!) It is tottaly up to you how many, and who, you ask, I wouldn't be keen on asking people that I was only connected to through marriage either.
  • definately don't have to have couples!
    I have 3 godkids and the eldest boy has me and 2 others, the youngest boy has 6 (!) godparents - 4 of which are 2 couples (his aunties and uncles) and the other 2 are me and my brother. both the boys are my 2 cousins children so still blood relatives.

    My goddaughter is my friends little girl and her other godparents (3 of us in total) are a couple and i know my hubby certainly never expected to be asked as he doesn't know them so well. As for me..well I was surprised and honoured to be asked.

    It is an honour to be asked and a choice that should be taken carefully because of course you want someone who will love your lo and care for them and be someone they can go to if they feel they can't come to you.

    as people have said - what happens if the oh's split up - does happen...I have wedding photos with my brother and bil's girlfriends on who are now ex's! I almost have 4 godkids ( I say i have 3 1/2 godkids lol) because my cousin told me she had really wanted me to be godmother to her youngest as well as her eldest but felt like she had to ask her sil and now the sil is an ex and rarely sees her goddaughter. I don't love her any less than her brother though - it makes no difference to me... all the kids I know whether family or friends kids are special to me.

    Anyway..sorry for the ramble - go with what you want, and not with the people throwing a strop... after all - is someone who'll strop like that really who you'd want being your lo's godparent?
  • I recently booked my Son's christening and when i went to the church they said if i was to get Luke christened i would only be aloud 4 people only if i was to have a blessing then i can have as many as i want. So if i was you in ur situation you wouldnt be able to ask partners anyway as it would exceed the limit hope this helps x x
  • 3 is traditional and not couples, no.
    Go with what YOU want hun. x
  • I've shown him the CofE website and the part that explains baptisms. He has now got round to my way of thinking (well just about anyway).
    Thanks for all your replies, it made me feel a lot better xx
  • I knew there was another reason not to get Faye christened! As someone else said, got enough of this family crap when we got married.

    This might sound silly, but whom do you think Charlotte would go for? They are her godparents after all and she has to 'put up' with your choices!!
  • Good point Mrs T! She knows my sister more as I see her most often and she has 2 lo's both under 4.
    She likes my brother as well (typical female baby). We dont see oh's brothers a lot as they live about an hour and half away. So not really close to their oh's either (they are good friends though as live close to each other).
  • I think you've just answered your own question in reply to mine there!!!! Pick people your happy and comfortable with. I'm christened and my GP are virtually strangers to me, but my parents do have family friends who I know really well and would rather have had them instead!
  • I chose people who I thought would be good for Tom to have in his life & be influenced by. 1 sister, 2 friends. Already 1 friend has proved to be a mistake- we rarely see him now, he forgot Tom's birthday, didn't send a xmas card even.
    I think many people lose sight of the meaning of baptism & it can become a tacky circus if you allow all & sundry to be godparents - my friend had a relative with about 10 GPs!!!
  • I agree its up to you! My oh can't even tell me who is godparents are - that says it all really!!
  • definatly doesn't have to be couples because i'm the godmother to my friends son and i was with my oh at the time but she just wanted me. Oh wasn't offended by it in anyway so i agreed.

    Its up to you who you want. You pick who you fel comfortable with.

    good luck and hope the day goes well for you

    Lisa xxx
  • I probably wouldn't use there partners as you cant guarantee they will be together for ever no matter how much they say they will be and if they don't your little one will have a god parent that is no longer anything to do with there family and in most cases is hated but most of the family for what ever reason.
  • Well i'm definately sticking with the 4. I'm not having it turned into a circus and a bloody popularity contest. His brother's are twins and they are in their mid-30's but act like they are still 18. The other brother when asked said does being a Godparent mean a pressie every Xmas then?! I don't think he was joking either! Yet when I asked my sister she was overcome and was saying it was an honour etc.

    Don't get me wrong my oh and his family are great but sometimes his brothers live on a different planet. They just don't understand the importance of some things. If they get upset about the christening it's their problem, they should be honoured (like my sis) about being asked to do such an important thing.

    Had another deep discussion with oh about the meaning of baptism/Godparents and he fully supports me now and our decisions on the Godparents. At least that obstacle has been overcome!

    Thanks again for all your replies and making me feel good about our decision. You really are a great bunch xx
  • How childish of them to be funy with you, they should be chuffed you'd consider them to be charlottes gp's.

    We had cameron christened 2 weeks ago, we had my bro and ohs bro, my best friend and ohs best friend and we had NONE of their partners. we wouldnt want 8!
    im gp for my best friends kids but oh isnt! i dont see why you need to have partners.
    good on you for sticking to your guns, it would of been easier to back down but you'll be happier with your decision in the long run even if it causes a few probs now.
  • god is this what its like!! of no religion but my Oh's family are roman catholic so its going to be a laugh a minute planning our wedding! my oh's best mate and wife are archies god parents, altho we asked a very close friend of mine (whos like a surrogate mum to me) and her hubby initially (but he contracted cancer and they didnt know how long he had-really awful eh). we havent asked family as my family are in the midlands and my ohs family are all over north derbyshire, altho i plan on sticking around until im 90 or something to take care of archie lol....

    in my opinion, its your choice whos god parent(s) to your one has the right to object or disagree as long as you and oh agree who cares what everyone else thinks?
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