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OH Rant- Christening
So fed up with my OH!! ARGGGGHHH
Basically, yesterday we booked Charlotte's christening. We had decided who we wish to be Godparents. We have decided on my brother & sister and my OH's 2 brothers. We (especially I) wanted siblings as it means more to have close relations and people that have a special relationship to/with Charlotte. We agreed not to have their respective oh's as there would be too many and I don't want it to turn into a circus!
So, we have asked my sister, not my brother yet as can't get hold of him. OH asked one brother earlier today and then a bit ago asked the other. Everything was going fine until the final brother started asking why we weren't having his partner as a Godparent. He was quite put out and said that you are supposed to have couples. Is this correct - I didn't think so. I thought you had whoever you wanted?
So, this got OH started on me telling me we should ask all oh's. Why should we?! I don't want people being her Godparents just for the sake of it. Oh was saying I should explain properly to people the meaning of it, and I've told him the wrong meaning et etc. WTF!! Why is it up to me to find this out. He's her parent too! Anyway, my brother doesn't have an OH at the moment so I wouldn't want him to be "the odd one out".
I just wanted it to be very intimate and have close relations as gp's. OH said "well I have a couple as my gp's = he never bloody sees them. That's why I want close relations as the relationship and support will always be there.
So now I feel like her christening has been ruined already. I was hoping there wouldn't be any sillyness like this - had enough of that with my bloody wedding 5 yrs ago!! Not speaking to him now (yes, Charlotte is the most mature person in our house)!!
Do you think the people we have chosen are ok - would you have had OH's too (remembering she would then have 7 Godparents). And can anyone clarify if you HAVE to have couples??!
Sorry it's been long xx
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Basically, yesterday we booked Charlotte's christening. We had decided who we wish to be Godparents. We have decided on my brother & sister and my OH's 2 brothers. We (especially I) wanted siblings as it means more to have close relations and people that have a special relationship to/with Charlotte. We agreed not to have their respective oh's as there would be too many and I don't want it to turn into a circus!
So, we have asked my sister, not my brother yet as can't get hold of him. OH asked one brother earlier today and then a bit ago asked the other. Everything was going fine until the final brother started asking why we weren't having his partner as a Godparent. He was quite put out and said that you are supposed to have couples. Is this correct - I didn't think so. I thought you had whoever you wanted?
So, this got OH started on me telling me we should ask all oh's. Why should we?! I don't want people being her Godparents just for the sake of it. Oh was saying I should explain properly to people the meaning of it, and I've told him the wrong meaning et etc. WTF!! Why is it up to me to find this out. He's her parent too! Anyway, my brother doesn't have an OH at the moment so I wouldn't want him to be "the odd one out".
I just wanted it to be very intimate and have close relations as gp's. OH said "well I have a couple as my gp's = he never bloody sees them. That's why I want close relations as the relationship and support will always be there.
So now I feel like her christening has been ruined already. I was hoping there wouldn't be any sillyness like this - had enough of that with my bloody wedding 5 yrs ago!! Not speaking to him now (yes, Charlotte is the most mature person in our house)!!
Do you think the people we have chosen are ok - would you have had OH's too (remembering she would then have 7 Godparents). And can anyone clarify if you HAVE to have couples??!
Sorry it's been long xx
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Replies
My brother split with his oh and she is all over our wedding piccies. And people slated me then for wanting just close family piccies! In the end I was right to want them (but didn't get them).
I think you should do what you want. You don't have to have couples at all we aren't. We are having two of my close friends and two of oh's close friends. None of the partners are going to be. 8 would be mad!
The only stipulation our church gave was that one gadmother and one godfather need to have been baptised themselves. Other than that you can have whoever you like and how many you wish. that's what we were told anyway.
Stick to you original decision. Good luck xx
I saw a lovely christening dress on ebay complete with a bolero jacket. It was only ??27 for the outfit but OH told me not to buy it as it's too soon. So stupidly I didn't. I know what he means but it was so nice and I might not see another one like it.
Just call me Mrs Doormat!
xx
I have 3 godkids and the eldest boy has me and 2 others, the youngest boy has 6 (!) godparents - 4 of which are 2 couples (his aunties and uncles) and the other 2 are me and my brother. both the boys are my 2 cousins children so still blood relatives.
My goddaughter is my friends little girl and her other godparents (3 of us in total) are a couple and i know my hubby certainly never expected to be asked as he doesn't know them so well. As for me..well I was surprised and honoured to be asked.
It is an honour to be asked and a choice that should be taken carefully because of course you want someone who will love your lo and care for them and be someone they can go to if they feel they can't come to you.
as people have said - what happens if the oh's split up - does happen...I have wedding photos with my brother and bil's girlfriends on who are now ex's! I almost have 4 godkids ( I say i have 3 1/2 godkids lol) because my cousin told me she had really wanted me to be godmother to her youngest as well as her eldest but felt like she had to ask her sil and now the sil is an ex and rarely sees her goddaughter. I don't love her any less than her brother though - it makes no difference to me... all the kids I know whether family or friends kids are special to me.
Anyway..sorry for the ramble - go with what you want, and not with the people throwing a strop... after all - is someone who'll strop like that really who you'd want being your lo's godparent?
Go with what YOU want hun. x
Thanks for all your replies, it made me feel a lot better xx
This might sound silly, but whom do you think Charlotte would go for? They are her godparents after all and she has to 'put up' with your choices!!
She likes my brother as well (typical female baby). We dont see oh's brothers a lot as they live about an hour and half away. So not really close to their oh's either (they are good friends though as live close to each other).
I think many people lose sight of the meaning of baptism & it can become a tacky circus if you allow all & sundry to be godparents - my friend had a relative with about 10 GPs!!!
Its up to you who you want. You pick who you fel comfortable with.
good luck and hope the day goes well for you
Lisa xxx
Don't get me wrong my oh and his family are great but sometimes his brothers live on a different planet. They just don't understand the importance of some things. If they get upset about the christening it's their problem, they should be honoured (like my sis) about being asked to do such an important thing.
Had another deep discussion with oh about the meaning of baptism/Godparents and he fully supports me now and our decisions on the Godparents. At least that obstacle has been overcome!
Thanks again for all your replies and making me feel good about our decision. You really are a great bunch xx
We had cameron christened 2 weeks ago, we had my bro and ohs bro, my best friend and ohs best friend and we had NONE of their partners. we wouldnt want 8!
im gp for my best friends kids but oh isnt! i dont see why you need to have partners.
good on you for sticking to your guns, it would of been easier to back down but you'll be happier with your decision in the long run even if it causes a few probs now.
xx
in my opinion, its your choice whos god parent(s) to your lo....no one has the right to object or disagree as long as you and oh agree who cares what everyone else thinks?