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Second child and more scared than ever!!!

Hi all,
Can some of u please put ur experiences of ur second labour and what it was like, however horrifying or relaxed or easy or hard it was. I have a 6 year old but am almost due with my second and im so incredibly scared with this one. Im scared i wont notice the signs, scared i wont handle the pain im even scared i might have to quick a birth, not to mention get scared wen im on the loo. I know alot of u probly think im just being silly having done it before but i really dont know how im gunna get through labour at all.
Please can some1 just try to ease my fears off a bit
Loadsa love Emma 35+3

Replies

  • I had my daughter when i was 19. i was at the hospital with pre eclampsia when my waters broke and i had to push. she was born in 40 minutes. second time around my waters broke at 1.30pm and i had a leisurely labour with 3 mindwives telling me dirty jokes. i laughed so hard i didn't need pain relief. he was born at 9.56pm. i was scared second time around that he would be quicker than grace but in the end you just have to go with the flow and do whats best for you and baby. you will know you're in labour. keep calm, don't panic just get everything arranged so you can prepare for every eventuality!
    georgette x
  • I had my daughter when i was 19. i was at the hospital with pre eclampsia when my waters broke and i had to push. she was born in 40 minutes. second time around my waters broke at 1.30pm and i had a leisurely labour with 3 mindwives telling me dirty jokes. i laughed so hard i didn't need pain relief. he was born at 9.56pm. i was scared second time around that he would be quicker than grace but in the end you just have to go with the flow and do whats best for you and baby. you will know you're in labour. keep calm, don't panic just get everything arranged so you can prepare for every eventuality!
    georgette x
  • my second was less painful and quicker x
  • Hey hun, first of all dont be scared, your body knows what to do and in the event of any little hiccups you will be well cared for I'm sure.(((hugs)))

    I have had three little monsters, all VB'S, 2 of which were home births. my first ds was born at 37weeks and my two girls at 38 and 39 weeks.
    I cant say much about my first labour as it was 10hrs of what i thought then hell!!!lol!, both girls were born with in 1-2 hours of labours starting.
    It wasnt easy but I always new at the end I would get to hold my lo and thats what I think of.

    I am ttc no'4 too so am very very excited at the thought of holding another baby for the first time lol!!

    Us mums are sooo strong and I'm sure you will be fine whatever your birth is like.
    Takecare hun, babs3 xxxx

    [Modified by: babs3 on April 16, 2009 02:28 PM]

  • hi hun ,
    i am pregnant with my second and i will lie to u if i say that i am very calm about it. it scares the hell out of me when i think about giving birth again.
    but please try to relax and enjoy the last days of your pregnancy. soon a little angel will be with you and it will be all over . think about the time that you will spent with your little one. i am afraid it is part of being pregnant.
    i wish you the very best of luck and the easiest labour ever
    love from dorra xxxxxxxxx
  • Hey girls,
    Thanks for replying, i dont think i help myself really as my partner wanted to know what to expect and we watched a birth on u tube last night, really really wish i hadnt now as scared the life out of me. How do we all do it eh?? xxxx
  • Hi Emma

    This is my second too and if I said I was bricking it ......it would be an understatement!!

    When I was pregnant with my first we had next door neighbours who had two little ones, I always remember the woman telling me that her first labour was 5-6 hours, then her second labour was under an hour! she practically gave birth on the steps outside the local maternity home!!

    So my first labour was 6 hours, which was the most frightening, degrading, humiliating and painful experience of my life. (lots of women reading this may think 'lucky cow only 6 hours, mine was 30 hours' but it really pisses me off when women make me feel like I'm a lesser woman than them as my labour wasn't as long as theirs! as far as I'm concerned my labour was fast because my contractions were a shed load stronger than theirs enabling my baby to come out faster, my body didn't have as long a time as theirs to stretch during labour hence i tore badly.

    Its also taken me 7 years to think I might be able to do it again. Seriously though, I am petrified, as I know whats coming!!! all these first time mums don't! what if my labour is super quick like my old next door neighbours???!!!

    All I know is this time, I will NOT be forced to stay on my back with my legs spread facing the doors for everyone to see my bits, I will NOT be given a smear test during my labour and I will not be blackmailed with threats of epiostomy and forceps if I dont push harder (my midwife was a bitch) nor will I be used as a teaching profject having students watch while I'm being stitched up nor will I be shoved into a bathroom on my own after wards with blood dripping down my legs and then sitting in complete shock in a bath of my own blood. Alone. I will also NOT be wheeled into a a bloody ward full of women and their visitors all gawping at me. I just dont think thats right! you need time alone. My labour was far from the romantic special emotional time you see in american films! and my very short time in hospital (about 4-5 hours after birth) was awful, I had no support from the staff, they couldn't care less that I wanted to leave and didn't even want to know why, they just were glad for my bed. They didn't care that I had piles the size of tennis balls, that I was very shell shocked and didn't have a clue what I was doing.

    I'm going to a different hospital this time, and things will be more on my terms this time or they can shove it!! lol

    So you are not alone being afraid, I think we have to use our previous experience to make things better this time around. I wish I could have a homebirth so its on my turf so its my rules, but last time I needed an epidural as I cant have pethidine or anything else so basically I'm buggered lol!!

    I fully believe everything I read when woman say their second labour is quicker and easier. I certainly hope so anyway!!
    Emma xxxx
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