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Sterilisation, your views?

Hi

As many of you know im pg with no4 and i want to be sterilised (have to have section due too two failed labours so 2 previous sections so figure may as well tie tubes at same time)

My dh agrees but my dad keeps saying how stupid i would be to be sterilised as im only 26 and you never know what is around the corner and how would i feel if dh and i split up.

I feel that 3 sections is more than enough for one body and i feel that 4 is pefect for me, just wondered your views

xxDBxx

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Replies

  • The choice is yours. I do remember a few years ago mind someone telling me that hospitals don't like steralising women under 30, this may have changed of course.

    I understand your reasons for wanting to be steralised, however is there no other way i.e pill, injection, etc just until your 100% sure.
  • Why not get your fella on them new injections????!!!

    Thats what I'm gonna do, whether he likes it or not! I'm too scared to get sterilsed in case I change my mind, sterilisation seems so final. I had one son 7 years ago and swore blind I would never have another! and here I am remarried and 3 months preggers!! lol.

    The pill is no good for me, the mini pill (athough I was on it for YEARS!) made my migraines a lot worse, the coil makes me squeamish, Depo didn't agree with me and took 5 years for periods back to normal and conceive, implants dont appeal to me and as for condoms........... ewww yuk!

    So its either Sterilisation or the snip or this new injection for men!

    and I'm ALL FOR THAT lol its his turn to be jabbed every month full of weird chemical hormones! but if he starts getting PMT, spots and nicking my chocolate he'll be going in the wheelie bin lol!

    You have had four children and serious body trauma with the C secs, so I totally see your point. I can see what your Dad is saying, but even if (god forbid it doesn't) you did split up, would you WANT anymore children? would your new partner want another one as you already have four?

    Go with your gut instinct, its your body and you know your own mind

    Emma xx

  • hi honey!!

    you know me - i'd say go for it!!!

    i'm a little of the opinion that if something isnt recommended (ie more than 3 c/s), if the only way to make sure you dont have any more is by sterilising..... then go ahead!! as you say, your tummy is open, they check your tubes anyway, so what is the extra bit of a snip?!! :lol:

    people asked me if my last had have been a boy, would i have tried again for a girl (already had 2 boys). although i would have really liked a girl (did get one too), i love my existing children too much to ever consider putting myself at risk, so it was an absolute NO! - my tubes were being snipped regardless!!
  • i think if only from your health point of view it would be a good idea, I will be thinking about this after we have completed our family and they can be reversed just like a versectomy x
  • i am like you db i will prob have a section too and will have 4 close in age and have always agreed that after 4 we would have my tubes tied as i need to stop, contraception has always been an issue for us fallen twice on the pill the implant never worked for me as made me feel ill so tubes tied would be our main option it would make me sad but i think i need to draw a line under things xxxx
  • although female sterilisation can be reversed, it carries a lot more risks with it than what male reversal does - there is very often a lot of scarring to the tubes, so the risk of ectopic pregnancy increases significantly - i would say to be 100% about it before having it done.

    as you already have children, more than likely you would have to pay privately to have it reversed - unless you got a very very nice dr on the NHS.

    it also means having a laparotomy (where they cut open your tummy the same way they do a c/s) to reverse it in the majority of cases - major surgery!!

    i do personally think that unless having a c/s, that it should be blokes that have it done - after all, there bits are just hanging around, waiting for that little nick that will sort the tubes - probably under local anaesthetic instead of a GA (women have to have GA). it is a lot more involved for a woman!
  • I completely agree with Ollier!

    Just make sure that you are 100% sure before you do anything. OH and me are still young (both in our 20's) and we discussed this but never wanted it to be so 'final'

    I hope you make the right desicion for you hon.

  • This is something I've def thought about after number 4 aswell. I'm still in two minds. On the one hand I've always said 4 is enough, but on the other like your dad says you don't know what the future holds. I'm still only 24 and not sure if thats too young to make such a major desition. However I'm not a big fan of anything containing hormones and I know I'd prob always want 'one more', lol!
    So prob in the end it will be oh or me that gets the snip!! I'm hoping oh will step up to the mark tho!! x
  • Hi DB

    You know I don't have any experience at all but I still want to offer my opinion! Honestly, I'd say don't do it and I agree with your dad, you never know what the future may bring. I don't want to spell it out for you with some horrible scenarios but think of your worst nightmare, how would you feel then?

    You obviously love having children and you are still so young. Can you say without any doubt whatsoever that when you are 37 (like me) that you won't feel the urge to have another try?

    There are good alternatives, injections, implants, etc. that can last years, have you considered all of the options?

    Ultimately it is your decision and one that only you will have to live with. Therefore it really doesn't matter what we or anyone else says. I hope I haven't totally put you off me and have added weight to the debate.

    Wishing you lots of luck in making the right decision for you xx
  • Hi DB, have to say i think that if medically you don't think you should have anymore and u and hubby both agree then don't see anything wrong with it. My mum was advised after having complications with both me and my brother not to have anymore and had her tubes tied when she had her section (she was 28). She said it was the right decision for her as although she would have loved more she didn't want to end up in hosp again with the risk of losing the baby and/or her own life (she nearly bled to death with my brother and was told it was a miracle he was born healthy).
    But do know a girl in the village who was sterilised aged 26 after having her 4th (although her situation is different because she is on her own) she told me she didn't regret not being able to have anymore but thought being sterilised made her already heavy periods much worse. Not sure if being sterilised caused this or if it was just the result of having 4th mind!
    I keep trying to persuade dp 2 go for the snip but he won't have it at all but like you say if they've already got you opened up!
    Jo 17+2 x
  • I think if it's a medical risk to have more, I can totally understand why it's the best option for peace of mind for you. My mum had the op when she'd had my brother, though she was in her 30s, but even if she'd been in her 20s they said it was too risky for her (she has a heart condition) and any more pregnancies would risk severe complications. She'd had three, so she felt that it was time. Only you know whether it's right for you (I know that sounds like a cop out on the advice front, but it's true!) and if this is what you want, discuss it with your midwife and go for it. x
  • At first I was thinking yes seems practical but then i read you are only 26!! If you do not need to have it done (ie for medicsl reason) then I wld wait! You have your whole life ahead of you - how do you know now what you will want in 5 yrs etc.

    xxxxMKB 25+1
  • personally i would wait. my mum went on to have twins with a new partner 10 years after she nearly got sterilized. its your body and you have to do whats right for you and your family. just be 100% sure, maybe talk to someone whos gone through it. x
  • Can i just say thank you so much for your thought out responses, i have read everyone several times and having your opinions really help. I am only 9 weeks so still have time to think it through and will bear in mind all that you have said.

    thanks again

    xxDBxx
  • Hi DB,

    I would agree with lawso and your Dad, you never know whats round the corner so I would wait

    Gxx
  • Good luck DB with your decision!! xx
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