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66yr old mum to be, what do you think ?

I wasn't on over the weekend so maybe this has been discussed already, sorry.

I read in paper about the 66yr old woman who is 8months pregnant. She received eggs from a donor and had IVF to conceive. (I think she went abroad, maybe Austria)
Anyway what do you think ? I respect everyones right to have a child provided they are willing to love it and look after it to the best of their ability. But I must admit I'm not sure about being a mum at 66. I'm knackered a lot of the time and I'm 33, god knows how she'll feel. My mum helps out with childcare 2 afternoons a week, she is 58 and she is exhasuted by the end of it.
When the child is only 14 she will be 80. I'm not sure what life expectancy is exactly but it can't be much more than mid 80's I wouldn't think.
I'm absolutley not against woman having children later in life, I'm 33 no spring chicken. But I'm just not sure about 66.

Anyway, what do you think ? Suz x (healthy debate please)

Replies

  • I think its selfish and unnatural. Why have a child you will never see grow up? I would hate knowing i would probably miss Frankie graduate, marry, have children etc. When that child is 14 it will probably have to look after its elderly mother completely on her own. There is no father and no close relatives. Having to look after or bury your mother as a teen must be extremely difficult and to do it with no grandparents, father or siblings to help you. Also if she does die before the child is an adult what will happen to that child? Will it go into care? I think the recent channel 4 programmes show us that nobody would want to have a life in care.

    The menopause is natures way of telling us we are too old to have children and there is a reason why you cannot have fertility treatment after the menopause in this country.
  • Although I do believe that some post-menopausal women should be able to have IVF I also believe that 66 is far too old.

    Today's medical care and lifestyles mean that a 45 or 50 year old woman (post-menopausal) may be able to bring up a baby without any real problems but any older and there will be a lot of issues.

    My mum is 62 and extremely fit. She has recently got a First in a Maths degree and is now completing her Masters. She runs 4x a week, goes to spin classes and pilates and takes my LO swimming. However she would find looking after my LO all the time exhausting. She has a tendency to get pain in her joints if she spends too long sitting on the floor or carries Abby around. She finds it difficult to get up off the floor whilst holding the baby. What I'm saying is that if my mum can't do it I can't imagine any woman of that age doing it.

    On top of that as she gets older she will find it harder and harder to cope. I'm a secondary school teacher and I'll warn you all now that your beautiful, little babies are going to turn into disobedient, foul-mouthed teenagers who have major temper tantrums, break things, smell (mainly boys) and refuse point blank to do anything you tell them. I'm dreading coping with it at 45 never mind 80!!

    H xx

  • I personally think its cruel on the child. Not only is the child going to get teased about having such an old mother who cannot do much with them, but their mother is going to most probably die while that child is very young. I respect everyones right to have a child, wether they be gay, a single parent having ivf etc but 66 is way too old, that woman is thinking of her own needs and desires to have a child without taking into consideration what that child will go through. xxx
  • I think it's incredibly selfish and a prime example of the fact that just because it is now scientifically possible to do something doesn't mean it's a good idea!! In the vast majority of healthy women the menopause happens for a reason, because the body is no longer young enough or fit enough to be able to cope with child birth or looking after a young baby. IVF is a wonderful thing that helps a lot of people to have babies that they wouldn't have otherwise have had but I think this is an abuse of the technology.
    xx
  • im with katie. chances sre this women is not going to see yuor baby grow up. my dad died when i was 15, he was older than my mum and was 57 when he died. its great for this women to have a baby, i dont know if its her first, but it just isnt fair on the child. he/she is going to loose thier mum at a young age
  • i think its abusing the ivf treatment , when there are so many other people in need of it. I find it selfish and would hate the thought of me passing away when my lo was young.
  • i totally disagree. it is gross and unatural and selfish. Putting your wants and needs in front of your would be childs. Its almost like she got bored with her life and wanted something to do...???Can you imagine if everyone had a good time partying in their teens and early twenties...concentrated on their career until they retired and then had a family after that?!!! I feel so strongly about this. I love the fact my mum is only 40 and she is healthy and active and is there to see all my milestones (touch wood). Even my friends parents who are in there sixties now when they are in there early twenties have said they wished they were younger...

    im gonna stop now cos im getting worked up!
  • personally I think its disgusting, at the most the poor child will be late teens early 20s when she dies with no other family around. the child will probably end up a social outcast as other kids will find it highly amusing that the mum is the sane age as their grandparents or even great-grandparents! it's utterly selfish and this woman obviously has no regard for the well being of this child and is purely thinking of herself and possibly all the headlines she's made. hmm I wonder I Much money she's gonna make when she inevitably sells her story. disgusting

    xx
  • just to put the cat amongst the pigeons.............

    all of us have children, so maybe we are all in a position to say that we think it is wrong, as we have your family,and are not having to endure being childless. unless you are in that position, you couldnt ever understand what it must be like to want a child so desperately, that you were prepared to go to the lengths this lady has to have a baby. maybe it would only be ladies on here that have had IVF / treatment of whatever kind that could come close to feeling how this lady has that she is willing to do this at her age.

    i know how very lucky i am that i have 3 healthy children that came along exactly when i planned for them, without ever having that disappointing period, at an age when it suited me (28, 31 & 34).

    i can totally understand why she has done it, but......

    i don't think she should have been given treatment !! - i'm not bothered on the cost issue - she paid for it- but i firmly believe that the menopause is for a reason- it is natures way of saying that women should stop having children. i would have concerns on the effect on her health - both physical and mental. i'm hoping that she will have had extensive counselling prior to the treatment, and that it wasnt just someone else requesting IVF!!

    i do find some quotes quite laughable too- the current oldest mum was 63 when she had a baby, but thinks 66 is too old "there is a big difference between 63 & 66" ??????????

    also the Dr who treated her says he thinks 66 is too old too. erm, so why did you do it then???????!
  • I don't agree with it at all. My friend's mum is 41 and pregnant for the first time since my friend was born 21 years ago (same parents too) and we are all shocked but very pleased for her, but 66 is waaaay too old, she will not see the child grow up & that is very sad.xxxx
  • SuzMcH1 said:
    I wasn't on over the weekend so maybe this has been discussed already, sorry.

    I read in paper about the 66yr old woman who is 8months pregnant. She received eggs from a donor and had IVF to conceive. (I think she went abroad, maybe Austria)
    Anyway what do you think ? I respect everyones right to have a child provided they are willing to love it and look after it to the best of their ability. But I must admit I'm not sure about being a mum at 66. I'm knackered a lot of the time and I'm 33, god knows how she'll feel. My mum helps out with childcare 2 afternoons a week, she is 58 and she is exhasuted by the end of it.
    When the child is only 14 she will be 80. I'm not sure what life expectancy is exactly but it can't be much more than mid 80's I wouldn't think.
    I'm absolutley not against woman having children later in life, I'm 33 no spring chicken. But I'm just not sure about 66.

    Anyway, what do you think ? Suz x (healthy debate please)
    It was totally exhausting and took every fibre of my being to manage in my early 20s. I just can't see how it would be possible
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