Forum home Pregnancy Miscarriage & pregnancy loss

My beans have gone.

Ive only been aware that i was pregnant for about a week. And within this week I've made so many plans which have now been crushed. On wednesday I lost one of the beans at just over 8 weeks and friday I lost the second. Im not really sure how to deal with this.

Replies

  • Oh hunni I am so sorry. there is no right or wrong way to deal with what is an increibaly cruel and horrible thing. You have to take your time to grieve and recover. I lost mine at 6 weeks last year. It is easily the worst thing that has ever happened. I know it is a cliche but time really is a great healer but before you agree with me you are in for a roller coaster of emotions. I see you are new to the site, there is so much support on here that has pulled me through and if you want to try again, then the girls in ttc after mc are a great bunch who have pulled me through more rough patches then I have ever had before. Hope you are ok xxx
  • Thanks alot. I wasent sure whether to join here or not, whether this was just for expecting mums.

    it really is hard and im sorry to hear about your awful experience too. I just cant stop crying, our whole family had our hearts set on those little beans.

    thankyou.x
  • You were an expecting mum, regardless of how long you knew about your pg for. I only knew about mine for just over a week. I cried until I could cry no more then I completely shut down for a while. Mc is awful no matter how far along you are, don't thank me, it is nice to repay some of the support I have received through this forum, it will make you stronger in the end xxx
  • hi there. i'm so sorry for your loss. i had my mc at the beginning of may. i'd only just found out i was pregnant and at the time i took some comfort in the fact it was so early, but everone is different. it really hit me when i got the letters for my booking in appointment, as the hospital did't tell gp about mc. there is no 'right' way to deal with it, just be guided by how you feel. take 1 day at a time. you have to give youself time to grieve.but remember there is lots of support for you here from lots of ladies who know just what ur going through. give yourself time to accept what has happened, have a good cry, a shout, feel angry, confused and anything else you want to. sending you big hugs and hope for the future. xx
  • I'm so sorry for your loss. It is a positive step to come on here are talk about things.

    As the girls have said, this was a bereavement like any other and you must give yourself time to grieve. You may go though all the fellings of grief, anger, sadness etc.

    I had a mc in January we found out at the 12 week scan. I had an ERPC the same day. But now I am just over 9 weeks pg again.

    It's hard, but you will get through it. Take the time you need. If you feel doing domething to remember your beans would help then do that. I put a forget-me-not in the miscarriage awareness meadow on the website, and bought a little bear that said Little Angel on it.

    Hope you feel the light at the end of the tunnel soon hun. Hugs. xx
  • Hey hunny I am so sorry for your loss and I agree with what the girls have said and its good you have come on here for support as we have all been through it one way or another and its nice to know there are people out there that understand what you are going through.
    I had an MC 3 weeks ago and it is hard and I'm still struggling and do put on a front most of the time but even at the weekend I had a cry and you should cry and go through the process of grieving - but it does and will get better but come on here as much as you like and get some great support from some lovely girls.
    I also purchased a bracelett over the weekend as a little remembrance token for my lost bean and I've found that has helped and liked the reseach of finding something just right.
    Big (((hugs))) to you hunny xx
  • Hi Cheryl, I don't think there's anything more I can add because the other ladies have said most of it. We have all sadly been through this. I had mmc and ERPC 12th May at 8 weeks (bean stopped growing 5-6 weeks). Whilst I think I've taken it all matter of factly, there are plenty of times when I get a little upset about the 'what could have beens'. We're all different, and we're all here for each other. Give youself time to grieve and heal. xx
  • Hi
    Just wanted to say so sorry to hear about your recent loss, its a really difficult time but we do understand and hope this site helps you a bit, as the others have said take one day at a time, some seem to be worse than others but it does get easier
    take care of yourself
    daisyx
  • Thanks for the all the lovely things you have all said, I felt quite alone but to be able to talk to people that have been through the same thing helps. i hope you all recover quickly from your experiences. Thank-you. Im beginning to fit in here quite well(:

    Btw, is there a forum for ill children? My daughter Dani has a heart condition and just wondered if there was a forum I could click around.
  • Thanks for the all the lovely things you have all said, I felt quite alone but to be able to talk to people that have been through the same thing helps. i hope you all recover quickly from your experiences. Thank-you. Im beginning to fit in here quite well(:

    Btw, is there a forum for ill children? My daughter Dani has a heart condition and just wondered if there was a forum I could click around.
  • Have a look at the forum list at the top of the page hun, there's nothing specific for ill children. But there might be a place you could find to post out of the list. image xx
  • Thankyou. I didnt find anything forums for ill children so I set up my own blog... Dont know how .. I'm not exactly good with technology.

    Thankyou again. Hope everyone is well(:
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