what do i do??
in Baby
me and dh have always had seperate bank accounts as even though i trust my dh completley, the mess my mum got my dad into put me of aving a joint bank account. We'll dh's switch card was declined the other day but he wouldn't go to the bank to see what was going on. Well yesterday he got a load of letters that he left on the stairs so this morning i couldn't help but look. He's used all his overdraught (its ??4200) and some of his direct debits have been returned including his car insurance and the bank is charging him ??90 for returning the direct debits and him going over his overdraft. I can't believe he's got into so much debt i feel like it's my mum all over again, i don't know what to do, i know he'll be cross if he's knows i read his post but at the same time he needs help. I'm trying to work out if i can cut my hours back at work when i go back but i feel i should go back to work more so we have a bit more money comming in. Why is life so complicated i really don't know what to do, he got paid today so he'll have be back in his overdraft but i don't know how he's got into that much debt in the first place. but with all the charges he'll not have enough money again. And if they returned his car insurance does that mean he's not covered???
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Then sit down and dont look at how he got there but how you're both going to get out of it, set budgets for things and priority payments for others, see if you can contact people to talk about the payments and if they would let him miss one and then spread that one onto the others (we did this with the council tax last year, needed the ??150 desperately so rang them and then said we could miss that one and they added ??10 or so onto the rest of the payments we made so we still paid them... )
Hopefully you can get something sorted out with him
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I hope things get sorted soon for you xx
I would confront him and say you know and that you would like to try to help him, he might be a bit mad at first but im sure he would apreciate you trying to help him and talking things through with him.
I hope you manage to sort it out hun
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Our rule in our house is that I take care of the money. OH checks everything he purchases with me to ensure we can afford it. Once I go back to work we'll divide it evenly again but we need to keep tight checks now we're on salary
When he gets in after you've eaten sit him down and say you have seen his bills and understand why his card was declined. Say you need to set a budget and write down how much income you are getting and how much you are spending each monht. This is also one way of finding out where the money is going. Maybe he has a habit he wants to break and he knows he cant do it on his own. Try and be reasonable with him and not argue despite you are feeling angry inside. If you argue you just wont get anywhere.
We have seperate accounts and a joint one where the working taax and child benefits go into which we also use for paying the bills. We can also access our accounts online to. Might be worth doing if not already to keep trck of your bank balances.
My hubby says Im the housewife so the papaerwork is my job which suits me fine! My hubby has a good head for finance but he still checks with me if he wants to purchases anything.
At least for you, you have some savings which puts you in a better situation than having nothing. You obviously were intending it to be savings. You both need to think what you want to do and agree to it too. It may mean no going out etc, but at least you know how things are financially.
All the best and I hope he is understanding to your concerns on this amtter. x
going to be a long road ahead
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