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Tricky marriage question?
in Baby
Hi Girls
One of my really good friends asked me a question last night, It got me thinking?
She asked " If I get married will it make a difference to my baby's future? "
Now I personally didnt get married to my hubby because of my kids I did it because I loved him and wanted us to make our vows together and to celebrate our love with our family and friends.
When I was with my Ex I never wanted to get married as I thought its just a piece of paper. Once I met my now hubby my feelings changed and I couldn't think of anything I wanted more than to be his wife.
But I honestly dont know if it makes a difference to my kids. My eldest was part of our wedding day and he was so proud and loved every minute of the day. He now has the same surname as us and he loves that too.
I dont really know what to say?
I thought I would ask some of you lovely ladies your advice?
Thanks
One of my really good friends asked me a question last night, It got me thinking?
She asked " If I get married will it make a difference to my baby's future? "
Now I personally didnt get married to my hubby because of my kids I did it because I loved him and wanted us to make our vows together and to celebrate our love with our family and friends.
When I was with my Ex I never wanted to get married as I thought its just a piece of paper. Once I met my now hubby my feelings changed and I couldn't think of anything I wanted more than to be his wife.
But I honestly dont know if it makes a difference to my kids. My eldest was part of our wedding day and he was so proud and loved every minute of the day. He now has the same surname as us and he loves that too.
I dont really know what to say?
I thought I would ask some of you lovely ladies your advice?
Thanks
0
Replies
we were told when we wrote our wills that regardless of having them if one of us died before we were married then everything would go to the kids and not the other half as the children were next of kin (obv only Ol at that point)....
There are all sorts of statistics that say things like children in a married household are x likely to be happier/sadder/less of this/more of that etc etc etc, so I think the real question your friend should be asking is one to herself - would it make any difference to her idea of her children future if she wasnt married?
To me, yes it makes a difference. My marriage is so much more than just a piece of paper.
xx
Also, I was incredibly teased at school because my mum had a boyfriend not a husband - kids will find anything to make fun of - and made me feel less of a family until they married.
Of course without love and devotion, marriage really is a piece a paper so I would never suggest getting married just for the sake of the children, but I do think it's better to be brought up in one. That's just my opinion though, not based on anything but my views
As for the question, our being married does make practical difference to our children as Peter and I both hold dual citizenship and it would have been much harder to get him registered if we hadn't already been married. But that is a particular issue. I don't think at this stage it would make any difference to Peter - it has just made life easier for us in terms of dealing with bureaucracy.
im married to my childrens father but thats because i love him, not for any reason to do with out children,
Obviously, I understand this is not always possible, and I do understand that some people don't want to marry for their own reasons - I am not judging that. But I do think in these cases people should make a will - as if one parent dies and they were unmarried, it can make things very complicated and difficult for the remaining parent and children.
It makes things far more straightforward for children when parents are married - no questions about why mum's name if different etc. If the parents do end up splitting up, those whose parents were married tend to fare better aswell - married women have far more rights than unmarried mothers, for example they get to stay in the marital home until the children are 18.
All things being equal, I think marriage is a great thing, but like someone else said not to be entered lightly.
xx