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I fell out with mil :(

Don't know what's wrong with me at the moment - I seem to be really overreacting about things - sometimes I wonder if there's something wrong with me...

Anyway I've had an argument with mil which has never happened before. I'm gutted, not least because I'll have to live with her for the next X amount of weeks (no, we STILL haven't got a date for the house yet!!).

It was basically about lo and how I parent him (I was doing a bit of CC as he wouldn't settle, there was nothing wrong with him & if I keep going in to him it makes him worse....)...I won't say anymore, I think I bit her head off a bit really but I hate how she says never to spoil him but then will never let him cry...

She has said she is not looking after him for the next week as "I know him best apparently" (thats what I said; it's what started it all) ....which is fine....up to her. But I know she thinks I can't cope without her help (which is poop!!) and I know when we move she'll be worried about him and if he's being looked after properly.

She only does it because she cares but it's starting to get to me a bit so I just snapped, I'm not her daughter & thankfully my own mother butts out!! I spent my entire childhood wishing I had a family who gave 2 hoots about what I did & now I'm kinda glad they DON'T as they don't interfere!!!!!!! Mil is trying to be helpful of course it's not her fault....I'm really upset though...

Replies

  • Don't worry it will all blow over and once you are in your new home things will be much better.
    Just remember you do know him best and you can cope without anyone.
    >> xx
  • Oh hon, I don't think's anything wrong with you besides a little cabin fever. You know the end is almost in sight - with moving house and finally having a bit of independence - but because it's not NOW the reasons why you're moving out are starting to get to you. Plus you've just started a new job which is always stressfull. Well done if you make any sense of that.

    I'm not suprised you've snapped at all, and if there was really something wrong with you you wouldn't be upset.

    Try and get some sleep and apologise first thing in the morning. Just remind her that buying a house is a stressful time and that you may have a quick temper between now and moving because you want to make things best for your family, and let her know you were upset about snapping. I'm sure even a hard hearted person could understand and forgive that.

    Get some sleep and good luck in the morning xx
  • Oh goodness - I respect you soooooooo much for getting this far before having an arguement. Totally agree with Jemma!

    It will all pass and of course you can look after him without her help! You DO know him best!
  • ah thanks everyone, I apologised this morning & all seems fine. I just HATE arguments and confrontation. Fil is another matter, he is annoyed as well, I havent seen him this morning though as he's at work.

    Lara I think a lot of it is that, I think she'll miss him lots & worry that I won't look after him properly just because she keeps him cleaner than I do!!! xx
  • Am I right in thinking that you've lived with them since Gabe was born?

    She may see herself as en extension of you in that she's the only other woman in the house and she's being maternal towards him. She's also going to miss him I bet so that's why there is tension as well!
  • Glad things seem better this morning - I'm sure she isn't worried about how Gabe will be looked after once you move out, but she probably is worried about how much she's going to miss him! Obviously you've really appreciated her help while you've been there (you're about the only person on here who doesn't moan about their MIL) - but at the end of the day, even if you perhaps weren't very sensitive in how you said it last night, he is your son, you do know best, and it is up to you how he is parented - perhaps you could take this opportunity to have a bit of a chat with her about that and clear things up a bit?
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