Why do people have to be soooo nasty??
I just don't understand it!!
I was packing a picnic ready for our trip to the farm yesterday and realised we had no food to take. (Well we probably did, but nothing i fancied!!) So i thought i'd take a walk down to Morrisons to get something a bit more exciting! Now ordinarily i don't do things like that unless OH is home to watch Luca as he's a nightmare, but i figured i have to do it sometime, and as we were all going to the farm it would be a good trial run! So i put Luca in the pushchair, Bella went in her sling, and Jack was walking next to me.
Well, from the second i got out of my front door, all i got was filthy looks from everyone! They were staring at Luca in the pushchair, and yes, at four he is too big to be in a pushchair, but unfortunately autism doesnt take things like that in to account and they were just looking at me in disgust. I might be young, but not that young (27 but i look younger because i'm so short) all the kids were clean and obviously looked after, which is more than i can say for a lot of other children in this area!
They were actually all very well behaved going around the shop, Jack was helping me put things in the basket, Luca was reenacting his favourite episode of big cook little cook, complete with actions, and Bella was doing her best to dazzle everyone around her with big smiles, so what on earth is the problem?? One man actually came up to me and said "if you want my advice love, either buy a double buggy or make that one walk!" as though i actually wanted his advice. I smiled nicely and told him i was perfectly happy to carry baby in the sling thanks. As is she, she loves being carried! (thanks again bedhead lol) I just don't get it, if i'm out with one or other of my kids i get smiles and compliments, so what difference does it make that i have 3?
Sorry to ramble, i just felt really good about the fact that i had managed it without any dramas tears or tantrums, and it was ruined by snobby people looking down their noses at me for no reason other than that they seemed to think if i have to push one and carrry one that i must have more than i can cope with, or that the only reason i didnt have a double was because i couldnt afford it or something (i can't, but that's neither here or there, as i don't want one) :x
On a good note, we did have a lovely time at the farm, i went with a group of mummies (and one daddy) which meant i had lots of help with Luca (i couldnt have done it on my own unless i'd kept him in the pushchair the whole time which i think would have been very unfair!) And our picnic was lovely!
I was packing a picnic ready for our trip to the farm yesterday and realised we had no food to take. (Well we probably did, but nothing i fancied!!) So i thought i'd take a walk down to Morrisons to get something a bit more exciting! Now ordinarily i don't do things like that unless OH is home to watch Luca as he's a nightmare, but i figured i have to do it sometime, and as we were all going to the farm it would be a good trial run! So i put Luca in the pushchair, Bella went in her sling, and Jack was walking next to me.
Well, from the second i got out of my front door, all i got was filthy looks from everyone! They were staring at Luca in the pushchair, and yes, at four he is too big to be in a pushchair, but unfortunately autism doesnt take things like that in to account and they were just looking at me in disgust. I might be young, but not that young (27 but i look younger because i'm so short) all the kids were clean and obviously looked after, which is more than i can say for a lot of other children in this area!
They were actually all very well behaved going around the shop, Jack was helping me put things in the basket, Luca was reenacting his favourite episode of big cook little cook, complete with actions, and Bella was doing her best to dazzle everyone around her with big smiles, so what on earth is the problem?? One man actually came up to me and said "if you want my advice love, either buy a double buggy or make that one walk!" as though i actually wanted his advice. I smiled nicely and told him i was perfectly happy to carry baby in the sling thanks. As is she, she loves being carried! (thanks again bedhead lol) I just don't get it, if i'm out with one or other of my kids i get smiles and compliments, so what difference does it make that i have 3?
Sorry to ramble, i just felt really good about the fact that i had managed it without any dramas tears or tantrums, and it was ruined by snobby people looking down their noses at me for no reason other than that they seemed to think if i have to push one and carrry one that i must have more than i can cope with, or that the only reason i didnt have a double was because i couldnt afford it or something (i can't, but that's neither here or there, as i don't want one) :x
On a good note, we did have a lovely time at the farm, i went with a group of mummies (and one daddy) which meant i had lots of help with Luca (i couldnt have done it on my own unless i'd kept him in the pushchair the whole time which i think would have been very unfair!) And our picnic was lovely!
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I know from school trips with my autistic boys that autism is a really hard disability for the general public to grasp because the children 'look normal' and therefore people just catergorise them as 'naughty' when a child in a wheelchair etc is easier for the stupid public to 'see' as disabled.
Anyway I will stop ranting - to me it sounds like a lovely shopping trip for yummy picnic food and a great day out!
Well done to you! Ignore those snobs and be proud to be the mummy you are!!!
p.s glad you had a lovely time on the farm!
Elaine&boys xx
People just want to look down on others to make themselves feel better. My mum got so sick of it she eventually got Ryan a t-shirt that said 'I have autism. What's your excuse?' That shut people up pmsl.
Just remember you've got a lovely family and you know that, so screw everyone else xxx
Have you been over to large families hun its great as we have all these experiances one way or another.
Take care vikki xx
I would have rammed the wheels of the buggy into that evil man!
Who is he to judge you?
You obv do a fantastic job so ignore everybody else x
i looked at her n said excuse me, she stared n said what, so i said btw he's my friends lo n what exactly does it have to do with a jumped up little hoody wearing cow how many kids i have, f))k off n mind your own.
Well done hun for keeping your cool, Bless luca he sounds as sweety n what a helpful boy jack is xxx
Junie, your boys must be very well behaved to get such lovely compliments!
Jemma, i definately need to get one of those t shirts!!!!
Vikki, i havent been over to large families actually, only because in my family 3 children is not a lot so i didnt think i qualified lol! I'll have a look over there, thanks
princess, running him over sounds very tempting lol, but i settled for being polite but frosty, in the hopes that it would make him feel bad (which it probably didnt!)
Tracey, i cant believe someone would say something so horrid in earshot! Dont blame you for pulling her up on it lol
xxx
I forgot to say aswell, we had one incident at the farm when we went in to the pet barn. Theres a sign on the door saying no pushchairs, but Luca really wanted to see the animals so i took him in. A few people stared and did the whole tutting and shaking their heads, and one woman came over and said excuse me, you cant bring that in here, we all had to leave ours outside, you just have to take your valuables off, so i said to her that it was nothing to do with worrying about thieves, but my son is autistic and wanted to see the animals, but if i took him out he would probably unintentionally hurt the animals whilst trying to pick them up etc. She walked off, but a member of staff overheard and then made a real effort with Luca, he got the animals out in turn and let him touch them. I was so grateful to him!
And i also learned that Luca thinks ferrets are the best animals ever!!
I've had some horrible reactions out with Ryan - once a clown wanted to make a balloon for him - he was about 8 at the time - and he was asking Ry questions and my sister was answering for him. He shot my sister the filthiest look so she explained he was autistic and he got up from where he'd been trying to talk to Ry, took a good 2 steps away from him and didn't even look at him again, even handing the balloon animal to my sister. I was 17 at the time so not confident enough to have a go but I sure would now.
I've also fundraised for Mencap and while explaining autism to one man I got told that it didn't matter because "my kids aren't going to be freaks" and he walked off. I shouted after him "Unlike you, you c**t". I got a warning from my supervisor for that but man was it worth it!!
I had it with my little sister when getiing her bridesmaid dress made for my wedding. The woman looked at her and said "can she get out of the chair?" So i said i don't know, Amanda can you get out of your chair? so she answered the question. The dressmaker then looked at me again and said "can she straighten her legs?" So i did the same thing again, asked my sister the question and she answered. Then AGAIN the woman looked at me and said "will she be wearing shoes? I don't suppose theres much point is there?" to which my sister jumped in and said "my legs don't work but my mouth does, i can speak for myself, and yes i will be wearing shoes because i'm a 17 year old girl and like most 17 year old girls, shoes are my life!" The dressmaker was fine after that! And yeah the farm assistant was lovely, i think he felt like i'd been picked on a bit so made an extra special effort! xxx
Sounds like you had a fab time on the farm though, and that memebr of staff sounding great.
xxx
I am not normally a rude person, but I hate how complete strangers feel they have a right to be so horrible to my children, and my children know it's happening, they aren't oblivious. So I sort of feel I have to say something so my children feel defended, which is horrible having to defend your children's right to exist.
Oh and Junie, i've found an AWESOME website that sell t-shirts, hoodies, badges, mugs etc with autism slogans on. My favourite one was "yes i'm autistic. Which means i'm probably smarter than you!" There was another one which said "i am autistic. Stare if you must, but i'll be busy ignoring you!" I might have to buy that one xxx
I think you must be doing a frigging fantastic job!
I can never comprehend why people want to look at others & be so hurtful.
Now I have to say I probably look like a blooming paedophile cause I love looking in prams & buggies at babies & when I haven't got Ellie with me i'm sure people are thinking weirdo! Anyway there have been plenty of times I have seen children with downs syndrome or a facial disforment (sp) but yes I see it but no it doesn't bother me. They are still a baby or a child no different from my own so why wouldn't I speak to them but sometimes it seems their parents think i'm only doing it because the child is disabled but thats not the case!
Anyway honey i'm glad the trip to the farm was successful & bless the member of staff for being kind, kindness costs nothing!
Lauren xx
Hats off to you sweetheart! xxx