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really disappointed.....
Hi ladies, just thought I'd post on here because you guys are always really good at cheering me up. Was having a lovely day yesterday, h2b and i had gone shopping in our fave shopping centre, and was planning dinner and watching final destination in 3d (rubbish film but great in 3d!) but halfway through the shopping, h2b just came out with he doesnt want us to start trying for a baby as soon as we get married!!!
As some of you know, we get married in may and we had discussed my crazy broodiness and h2b's want of children sometime and had planned to start trying 16th may 2010. we even had a joke about it having a definite date! H2b knows i'm broody and he sees me with an occcasional baby magazine or catalogue and knows i come on here but he's never been bothered and laughs about it with me. Yesterday, he just came up with money as an excuse and saying we're going to be in debt from the wedding (only a tiny bit for honeymoon as i've been desparately saving huge amount a month-he has only been saving ??50 although earns more which isn't a problem cos he often pays for dinners etc when out) and also he is hoping to open his own business at the mo so will need some money for that. However, his business is hairdressing and he has a big client list and so wouldnt have to worry about making money cos his clients will all follow him!
Whilst writing this I can see that maybe he's just got a bit scared about it all. but i hate how whatever he says goes and he thinks whatever he thinks is right without listening to my point of view. he even said 'well, you dont really have a choice cos if i dont want a baby, you cant have one!' grrrrrr, men!!!
Really upset. I never want a baby thats not wanted 100% by us both but i am just so broody and had been working towards may for so long. Am i being stupid?
Thanks for getting this far, sorry i rambled for so long.
xx
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Replies
mine was EXACTLY the same
he will come around but only if you don't make him feel pressured - it's the whole reverse psychology thing - if you pretend you're not that bothered then he will wonder why and might just decide for himself that he does want it (at least this worked for me) I know this sounds really manipulative but i get the impression that the more you push the less likely they are to agree
men seem to get scared and play the financial card because it's a sensible one (hubby uses this all the time for anything he doesnt want to do) and easier than saying they dont want to grow up but he'll get there eventually
big hugs xx
You've made me feel so much better, thank you. I'll keep you posted
xx
I think that we girls tend to plan things ages in advance and with my hubby he tends to decide on something and do it there and then. So what i'm saying is you may find that after the wedding he may feel ready for children as it is quite a few months away. Also you will know exactly where you stand moneywise then. Just try and enjoy the wedding planning in the meantime, good luck x
Thanks again
xx
I'm exactly the same and was with our wedding aswell, sometimes i wish i could be as chilled out as my hubby! x