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Q for those who had to give up breastfeeding

For those who felt guilty for giving up bf, how long did that guilt feeling last?

Allannah is 12 days old and for the first few days she was having trouble feeding from both breast and bottle. She was very close to being put on iv feeds but managed to get her on the bottle. I've been expressing what I can and it works out that half her feeds is expressed breast milk and half formula.

She is still having trouble feeding so each feeding session is really long and tiring. I'm really struggling and feel like I need to do something to make things a little bit easier and the only thing I can think of is giving up expressing. I've already brought it down to only expressing a couple times a day, but feel I can't even keep going with this.

I never really wanted to bf. I was always a bit uncomfortable with the idea for personal reasons but decided to go with it because I felt it was the best option for her. Now that she is here I want her to have the best and I feel so guilty about stopping the expressing. Every time I think about this I start crying. Family, friends, nurses, midwives, they all tell me not to feel guilty and I should be proud that I tried and she at least got breast milk for the first couple weeks.. the only person giving me hassel about this is myself.

If this guilt feeling is only going to last a few days I can probably push through it, but I'm worried it will last longer. This is really bringing me down and I've struggled in the past with depression so I want to avoid PND as best I can.



  • Hey Monique

    you know from my post in due in september that i felt guity about not being able to breastfeed ollie, and for a few days i felt so guilty but it does pass and although ive had a few moments were i feel bad about it generally im ok with the bottle feeding now. As i know he is happy, my midwiife said to me it shouldnt be breast is best it should be pro-woman whatever works for the mother as she said if im stressing all the time about not breastfeeding he will pick up on it.

    And there are some def plus' to bottlefeeding hubby can help with night feeds!

    Lots of hugs rach xxx
  • i expressed for four weeks hun for same latching probs and i was adamant i wanted to bf, i eventually realised i was spending more time with my boobs than grace, put her on formula, and never looked back. in fact i resent how long i did it for and feel i lost some special time with her because of it. yes the profs are paid to promote bf and this narks me but the nicer ones will say to you you need to be happy - if they can see how unhappy its making you they will almost suggest you'v done enough bf

    its also amazing how many people are in the same posdition or who have been there - i had loads of people come out of the woodwork and say exactluy the same, partic the bit about regretting taking so long to decide!!

    good luck and email me if you would like to

    jane n grace
    6weeks old xxx
  • I solely bf for 4 weeks and then mixed fed until 11 weeks until my supply was so low it took 4 x 30mins to get 1/2oz out! i felt guilty about stopping but I was getting so stressed with it all and it wasn't good for me or the baby! TBh - I got over it in a few days, and like soon? I actually wish I had done it sooner!

    Your baby has got the most important goodness from your breastmilk so far and some is better than none! If you are stressed about it then do what is right for you and the lo so you enjoy the time you are spending together image

  • Monique i feel exactly the same as you!!
    Jacob is 11 days old and i am really struggling with BF. He takes anywhere up to an hour to lach on and by this time he is so stressed out which upsets me. Then he only suckles for 5-10 mins so really doesnt get enough.

    Every visitor we have had round says, oh breast is best and i cant help but burst into tears once there gone because i really feel like i have failed..

    You are defiantly not alone, sorry i cant offer any advice!
  • Thanks ladies. I'm having ups and downs about the whole thing but feeling pretty good today.
    I went 48 hours without expressing and in this time discovered that I have a lot more time to spend with her, which I didn't get to do before. As soon as I was done feeding her I put her down and went to express and do everything else. By the time I was done she was looking to be feed again. She was only crying to be feed but is starting to cry for a cuddle which I love (I know in a few days it may get a bit demanding, but I'm enjoying it for now). I got to cuddle her for a couple hours earlier which was heaven.
    Like I said above I went 48 hours without expressing. My boobs started to really hurt so I decided to try to express just to help with the pain and I ended up getting enough for one feed. Going to try again tomorrow, see if maybe I can bring it down to once a day.
  • StephS, your health visitors sound awful! I'm not surprised they upset you.

    I breastfed for 2 days. Lo struggled to latch and I had an awful time. I felt really guilty but kept it all in which made me a PND case waiting in the wings. Eventually I burst into tears infront of hubby who couldn't believe I'd been stressing so much about giving our lo a good meal! I told my folks soon after who were also incredibly supportive - mum reminded me I'd been bottle-fed and there's nothing wrong with me! The midwife was the same and the health visitor too so I had lots of people looking out for me and supporting me.

    It is still really irritating when people ask if I'm feeding lo myself and sometimes I find myself wondering if I should have kept going but he's a mighty fine 4month old chap who gets lots of feeds with his dad and his grandfolk, which is great for everyone! I'm gradually starting to explain my reasons for bottle feeding less and considering telling those people that no I'm not feeding him myself, I'm getting the dog to do it.

    I guess all I'm trying to say is you have to be happy else you'll start to resent feed times and lo'll pick up on that. All they want is food and love (and sleep and burps and nappy changes and clothes and .......) so don't waste time feeling guilty and spend it enjoying your lo instead!
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