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Returning to work? or not?

I'm kinda in two minds about going back to work. I had planned to go back part-time, just to get out of the house really (the extra money would be nice to, but not essential) I feel that because I've been off so long alot of 'work-mates' have forgotten about me image and I really like the social side of work, Christmas nights/birthdays ect.

My OH on the other hand, wants me to stay at home and bring up Jax, his Mum stayed at home and brought up him and his 2 siblings and as nice as it sounds to be at home all day with my baby, I'm sure the novelty will wear off when he's getting into things and I lose touch with the 'outside world' I currently work for a bank and enjoy my job most of the time, I suppose I'm worried about my only role is life will be Jax's Mummy.

If I did go back, OH would have to get set shift (he works a 6 week rota) so he could look after Jax while I worked which he isn't keen to do because he's trying to work his way up the company so needs to seem as willing and flexible as possible. His job means alot and I know I'm never going to get the chance to work my way up anymore, I don't want to hold him back so I can return to my job (which doesn't really have any prospects anyway) I just don't know what to do, I want the best for us - which probably means me not working, but really need to do something to feel like 'me' again!

Sorry, didn't mean for it to be that long!!

Any advice? What are you ladies planning on doing?xx

[Modified by: McGillair on 28 September 2009 11:00:43 ]


  • Hmm, i know what you mean. I too am having this conundrum. I was intending to return back to work full time initially, however we have actually moved area's during my maternity leave to be closer to family and for hubby's work, so i wont be able to return to the same job. I also don't really feel ready to leave Oliver for such long periods as i'm really enjoying being at home with him still, so am hoping to work part time instead.

    We;re probably a bit back to front from you though, i would prefer not to return to work again, but am having to look for part time jobs as we need that extra cash top up, however hubby also works a rota, and never knows one week to the next when he will be working, so it's difficult looking for a job, but not knowing when i will be able to work. I'm just hoping my mum will be able to have Oliver when we're both working, otherwise we'll have to look into child care which we don't want to use if we can help it.

    I think if you feel you need to return to work to keep yourself sane you should try and do that, it can be so draining being at home with our babies all the time, that you need that break every now ang again. I don't think hubby's understand that though as they get to have regular breaks to recharge. Or maybe look into working from home sometimes if that's possible? Or maybe finding something you can do other than work to recharge your batteries and socialise a bit.
  • I NEVER thought i would say this but I would love to not go back to work and just spend as much time as possible with my son and future babies image (did i just say babies???) but I am not in the position where I can afford not to go back but then again childcare is soo blummin expensive. Apart from praying for a lottery win I am getting stuck into my direct selling business and hoping that takes off and then I might just be able to consider part time and still pay the bills :\)

    I know what you mean about losing contact with people, it's amazing how many people forget that you might still actually consider going out when you have a baby!
  • I wish i cud take a year off ... but im prob gonna go back in feb i hope i can last on my maternity pay till then though.

    Im gonna go bk full time but work 4 days and take one day hol per week for the first few months to ease me back in.

    However my hubby just been promoted so well see the increase from start of next yr its an extra ??90 so i mayyyyyy work 4 shifts per week then
    I work shifts which works out well and weekends so ill prob work fri sat sun and one day in the week

    i dont think i could be a stay at home mum. id miss the interaction and socisl side of work. I actually love my job !! lol

    maybe just see how u feel after christmas ? cause everything still all new ... maybe feel ready or not in a few more months...
    or keep doing the lottery
  • I am soooooo jealous!!! you ladies are so fortunate! I went back full time on september first (im a teacher) and the weeks before i started back i felt sick and very we have kinda settled into routine and ive accpted that this is how things need to be for the time being. I enjoy my job but miss my baby girl like mad. She spends half a day at home with dadddy and the afternoon with grandma (hbby works shfts) Ciara had already become very attatched and clingy to me, but now she settles really well with daddy and is very happy and content. On fridays she goes to nursery and seems t enjoy watching the other babies(although i feel terribly guilty because she is the youngest. Last week i took 2 days off cos i wasnt 100% and we went to clinic and i realised how much i missed doing all the day-to-day mummy things with her..its heartbreaking..treasure every day you have at home with your little ones. We plan to start trying for number2 next year so i keep telling myself that im not going to be away from her for too long..and im definitly going part time when we have number 2.

  • Thanks for your suggestions ladies!

    I think OH will just have to deal with me going back!! I could always go back for a bit and if it doesn't work out I can just leave!! It is a drain being at home all the time, even though we go to every baby group in the area and surroundings, Motherhood can be a lonely old game!!

    Thank goodness for BE eh?!xx
  • I'm a stay at home mum because with childcare I'd be absolutely no better off working especially as I have 2 under 2 so would need to pay for both. My mum died 8 years go and my OH's mum is old and ill so have nobody to help us out. It can be quite lonely being at home and I do try and fill my time with toddler groups but it does feel like I'm constantly having to start again meeting new mums cos just as I get to know them they go back to work and I'm back at square one.
    I do love bringing the babies up but it does feel sometimes that all I am is mummy and have nothing just for me. Once Jamie starts play school I fully intend on going back xx
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