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Having a horrible day
I am on cd31 and still no sign of af. I spoke with my grandma early this morning and she has put me in a horrible mood. She knows hubby and I are trying to have another baby, and she means well, but she is the type of person who is negative about everything! She said I am obsessed with ttc and she doesn't understand it. She even went on to say that how I feel is not normal, and if I just relax Ill have a better chance at it. Aaarrrghhhh!!!! She even said she thinks I have endometriosis, and last time I checked she is not my dr! I told her that almost every couple who have had a hard time ttc feels the same way I do. And I told her that I have been upset because we would have been having our baby any day now, and that I just want to get my bfp by my due date, and of course this puzzled her even more. Why is it so hard for people to understand what Im going through? When I say people, I mean ignorant people who have never been through this. I mean, Im sure that even if I never miscarried, I would still be sensitive to someone who has. And I told her that I am waiting to test until the 17th and she rudely said well I don't think it'll happen this month, infact I don't really think it'll happen until next spring, is she psychic now too? So I came to the conclusion that my grandma is a psychic doctor, wow, talented huh? Lol I know she doesn't mean to upset me, but she tends to put her foot in her mouth more often than not. So as of now I am in the 2ww and I guess only time will tell...
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Some people just don't get it. I'm with you - I can empathise with people, so even if I hadn't been through this I would be able to relate. In fact, one of my closest friends who has never been pregnant has been the most supportive person ever, and totally gets why I feel the way I do, regardless of how that is.
She clearly has strong psychic powers so you want to get her to work predicting the lotto numbers, then we can all win that 45 million quid! And really, endometriosis????? WTF?????? Where did she get that one from?
She tells me I am fat in front on whole family ( I am 5ft 7 and a size 12!)
I think people's comments suck! How are you meant to relax when you are so desparate for a baby? How can you not be consumed with worry after our experiences.
I am sick of people telling me that it's better my baby died rather than it being born "deformed" or "at least you can get pregant" NOT IN THE RIGHT PLACE I CAN'T!!!
My advice is confide only in nice people who will support you rather than make you feel awful.
Me and hubby have decided not to discuss with anyone and not tell anyone when get BFP until 12 weeks x x x
My grandma is just the same and personally I think she's a complete bully - picking on my mum coz she's got low self confidence. I'd like to bop her one on most occasions I have to see her. However, as dutiful granddaughters we have to smile and be polite grrrr.
Have a hug and lots of babydust x
my poor granny was too scared to say anything, we'd been staying with her 2 days by time she mentioned it, she just said sorry to hear your news, and no naff advice. Found out when I got back that she'd been on phone to mum asking her whether to mention it or not coz she didn't want to upset me - bless!! she does sometimes comes out with some right clangers on other subjects tho.
mafia princess-I completely understand! It is horrible hearing some of the bs that people say, my own brother made the deformed cooments to me, he even went further to say that my future kids will probably be deformed. I'm like WTF is your problem??? He's slightly a demented a-hole. Hubby and I have also decided that when we do get our good news we are bot going to share it with anyone until we feel safe. Our families were not supportive at all with the loss of our last, so we don't care to involve them really. My grandma also makes cooments in front of the family, mainly about my breasts being soo big( I am 5'3 with size D breasts) I know it can be so embarassing! Not sure what is wrong with people nowadays, especially family. Glad I actually have all of you to talk to on here, probably go crazy without all the nice ladies here
I sometimes think that the older generation are from a time when you didn't talk about miscarriage. It was a silent thing that couples suffered and kept to themselves while you just got on with life without giving yourself permission to be sad or angry or grieve. Behind the chintz sofas, pinnys and hairnets, lots of these dutiful wives didn't talk to their partners, faked their orgasms and relied on mother's ruin in the kitchen cupboard to get them through each day. Personally this is not the way I wanna live life. It's much better to talk about things, empathise and let yourself feel raw emotions than sweep them under the carpet and survive on Gordon's!
AAAAHHHH.... breathe deeply and climb down from the soapbox now....
gemgems-I absolutely cannot stand when people say that! It's so very annoying that people can't just let us feel how we feel without putting in their 2 cents worth. Is it really that hard to come up with something nice to say without making us feel bad about how we feel? Sounds like your grandma is a very sweet woman
Makkapakka-thank you. I completely agree with you, older generations grew up completely different. Everything was so personal and hush hush back then. I can say though that my gma isn't conservative at all. Funny thing is we talk about all kinds of crazy things with her, sex, orgasms, you name it. It's halarious most the time. From what she says, her mother was a real bitty and treated her horribly, so maybe it turned her into the kind of person she is. She really is just out there and speaks what she feels. My mom said she doesn't know if she ever had a mc, but she said she wasn't being considerate either way. I definitely am not going to live my life keeping everything bottled up, that's what turns peoples hearts to stone and just makes them bitter old hags. I am so glad again, to have other women I can talk to when I am feeling down. We all know how eachother feels, we've all been there and done that unfortunately. I just hope that we can all get that blessed bfp together as well! Come on December, bring us good news!
My nan on the other hand is wonderful, she only knows about our first mc on new years eve when the bleeding & pains started she rang me & said it was in gods hands now & what would be would be but she was praying for us!! But when they let me out of hospital as I had a rough time & had to be admitted she would ring me everyday to see how I was & she sent us a big bouqet of flowers!!
Try not to worry about her just think that she's stuck in her ways & if she had a bit more knowledge than she thought she did then she may have a little more tact!!
Big hugs xxx
Where do these people get off? You just say "I'm so sorry for your loss" and then you shut your fat mouth if you can't be supportive. It's not rocket science people!!!!!!!
Honestly.
m+s they should give us loads of printouts of that at hosp if we have an MC to give out to everyone we know!!
blessedbeauty, I'm lucky my family are really good. My bro's fiance even said they've talked about not ttc'ing til I've got my BFP in case they beat me to it and upset me. I told her that's ridiculous and she'd do no such thing as she's 34 and has Mc'd in past herself, and I would be so pleased for them even if they did beat me to it ( tho sometimes it's easier to be pleased for someone who's MC'd than someone who hasn't if you know what I mean? you're not so jealous coz you knwo they need it just as much as you do). Sorry your family aren't so good.