Any help or advice welcome

Huniibump · Dec 14, 2009 2:34PM

Hi ladies, I have just found out today that I have miscarried at 6 wks. I'm devastated but I'm trying not to dwell on it or I will never get out of bed.

When is it safe to ttc again? Do I count this bleed as a normal period? I'm sorry if I'm asking silly questions, but any help or advice would be great

Thanks xx

moonandstars-88968 · Dec 14, 2009 11:11AM

Oh bless you, I am so sorry to hear of your loss.

On the ttc front, there are many different opinions as to when it is ok to start again. I think it is all up to the individual. Most doctors tell you to wait for one normal period before trying again (I think for dating purposes), but then lots of ladies on here have said their midwives told them there was no need to even wait that long. Other sources (such as BE) say to wait 2-3 months to ensure your uterus has healed and is ready for another egg to implant. For my part, straight after the mmc I wanted to start trying again asap, but in the end have waited 3 months, which I think has done me the world of good. Although I still have my down days, they are much more infrequent than they were in September and now I feel positive about a future pregnancy. I think if I had fallen pg immediately after the mmc (even though I desperately wanted to be pg again) I would have been a complete wreck. Now I feel stronger and ready to handle the emotions another pregnancy will bring.

Whatever you decide, give yourself time and space to grieve for your little angel.

Huniibump · Dec 14, 2009 11:26AM

Thanks for your lovely words moonandstars and advice, that's exactly how I feel, I really want to try again immediately but at the same time I really am an emotional mess so I should take that into account as well, the added stress wouldn't help a new pregnancy xx

MrsMafiaPrincess · Dec 14, 2009 11:49AM

Oh Huni, I'm so so sorry to see you here.

I had my ectopic in September and I really know how you are feeling, as do all the ladies on here. They originally thought i'd mc and I wanted to try immediately again.

In fact I had to wait 3 months because of my treatment. I've got another month to go but feel like i'm ready now. I needed some time as I couldn't have handle it if it had happened again so quickly after.

Be kind to yourself and how ever you are feeling go with it. I went through feelings up deep upset, anger, fear and back to total unhappiness and it was the only way I could cope with it.

Big gentle hugs x x x

Huniibump · Dec 14, 2009 12:02PM

Thanks mafia princess, I really feel like I'm on a rollercoaster, one minute I'm feeling postive and the next I'm crying my eyes out again. My poor OH doesnt know what to do for me and I feel bad being the one that gets comforted when he is feeling the loss as well.
I've to go back to the doctors tomorrow for test results, do you mind me asking what treatment you have had to get? To be honest needing treatment hadn't even crossed my mind xx

MrsMafiaPrincess · Dec 14, 2009 12:33PM

Because my hormone levels were very slow rising they knew it was ectopic and a scan confirmed it. I was treated with methotrexate to attack it to make it come out without surgery. However, this is only used if ectopic.

With very early miscarriages I think they normally pass naturally. I think if you are a bit further on you would have needed medical treatment.

I'm so sorry that you had to go through this. Was it your first pregnancy?

I totally understand you want to try again staright away, I did too. I personally (although didn't feel like this at the time) feel I needed time to sort my emotions and feelings out as I was, and still am, devestated at what happened to me.

This forum has been a godsend x x

Huniibump · Dec 14, 2009 12:47PM

Yea this was my first mafia princess, it was our first month ttc as well so I know we were extremely lucky after reading that some ladies have been trying for years, but even though I knew the odds of having a mc I never imagined it would really happen to me but the shock is easing abit now. So sorry to hear of what you had to go through.

Helenlouise, oh hun I'm so sorry, I know how worried your feeling, it's an awful feeling that you can do nothing but wait. I really pray that it's nothing serious for you, please keep me posted xx

MrsMafiaPrincess · Dec 14, 2009 1:06PM

It was our 2nd cycle of ttc our 1st baby and like you, I never expected it to happen to me. It's the kind ofthing that you expect to happen to other people but not you.

I am hopeful that the new year will bring the our much wanted babies and also give us time to come to terms with the loss of our little ones x x

Huniibump · Dec 14, 2009 1:15PM

Me too hun, a new year and new positive attitude xx

MrsRainbowUK · Dec 14, 2009 2:34PM

Hu Huni,

I'm so sorry that you and your OH are having to go through this. I know only too well what you are going through - I too mc at 6 weeks 3 weeks ago, and luckily mine all passed narurally. I too have found this forum to be great in supporting me - I've been on an emotional rollercoaster, sometimes feeling positive, others devastated, then angry and then blaming myself. I know it doesn't mean anything at the moment, but time really is a healer. I've also found that telling people has helped, I've just taken it a bit at a time.

Some people find taking time off work helps, but tbh I've found work to be a healer - it helps to take my mind off things.

Just to pre warn you, people will say a variety of things to try and help you, and you may find this make you angry rather than comforting. TBH, this IMO is normal, it's just something that we need to go through.

Please try and use us as much as you can hun, I'm sure it will help you, even if it's just to rant, I've found it immensley helpful.

Sending you my love and lots of hugs

xxx

Any help or advice welcome

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