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o/t my mum says she wants to die
Im so sorry to post this here i dont know what to do.
Mum is 45 and has a history of depression. Both her and my dad got made redundant early this year and have been struggling to find work. As a result they have only been able to buy for the 2 grandchildren and my brother who is living a home. Mum says she feels really badly about it but no one minds about not getting an xmas pressie. She is struggling with how to pay everything ect they sit freezing cold with no gas because they cant afford to put any on the meter. I help as much as i can but oh and i are in the same situation.
My nan is doing the big xmas dinner this year because mum cant afford to (she has always done it) and she told me she s not going to go and not to tell anyone. I hate the thought of her spending xmas alone and i dont have the room to have everyone here at mine.
Ive just spoken to her on the phone and she says how horrible she feels not being able to do xmas and she doesnt even want to be 'around' she wants to die
What do i do? My head is spinning i dont think she will do anything because she has said this before but refuses to get help. she will hate me if i tell anyone
Mum is 45 and has a history of depression. Both her and my dad got made redundant early this year and have been struggling to find work. As a result they have only been able to buy for the 2 grandchildren and my brother who is living a home. Mum says she feels really badly about it but no one minds about not getting an xmas pressie. She is struggling with how to pay everything ect they sit freezing cold with no gas because they cant afford to put any on the meter. I help as much as i can but oh and i are in the same situation.
My nan is doing the big xmas dinner this year because mum cant afford to (she has always done it) and she told me she s not going to go and not to tell anyone. I hate the thought of her spending xmas alone and i dont have the room to have everyone here at mine.
Ive just spoken to her on the phone and she says how horrible she feels not being able to do xmas and she doesnt even want to be 'around' she wants to die
What do i do? My head is spinning i dont think she will do anything because she has said this before but refuses to get help. she will hate me if i tell anyone
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Replies
All I can say is support her, I know it's difficult when you have your own family, but I imagine with those words from your mum ringing in your ears your not as happy as you could be.
Remind her that Christmas is about family, it's the media and the shopping industry that's made it so commercial. Making us think we all need to go ott on gifts. Young children won't remember who got what and when, and adults are capable of understanding why it's a difficult time.
The not working part must be difficult, I limited our heating etc bcoz I'm on the last part of my mat leave (so unpaid), and have been putting my mortgage and household bills on credit cards, but I know when I'm going back to work, so i can see a light at the end of the tunnel, where as your mum probably can't. All you can do is remind her that things will get better. She has a lot to be proud of within herself. There's no shame in being out of work through no fault of your own.
It's awful bcoz she's so young as well. I wish I could do or say more. It's obviously a hard time for you. You'll have so much support on be I'm sure. If you need anything at all just ask x x x
This is a whole other thing though and I really feel for you. Have you thought about taking your mum to her gp? Maybe she needs help.
Really hope it gets better
xxx
xxx
I'm not sure how to go about the depression as i'd imagine she had to acknowledge she has it, but a home visit is a good idea.
I was also going to suggest your mum helps your gran on Christmas day. If she usually always does it could your gran not phone her up and ask for some help in getting it 'just so'. Christmas is definitely about the family getting together and all chipping in, she may even find she enjoys taking more of a backseat and joining in with the social side more.
Look after yourselves and I really hope you can help your mum out of this bad patch x
I thought about the GP but she wont take any medication, she refused when she was prescribed it when her mum died. Truthfully I think that most of her problems is that although it was 7 years ago she has never gotten over it and the loss of her mum who was also her best friend is understandably still very raw.
I speak to her daily and am there for her as much as i can possibly be and she knows that she is more than welcome at my house any time.
I dont know how to help her feel better if she refuses medication or therapy? I phone my uncle (her brother) and we had a chat and hes gonna help keep an eye on her.
I will suggest to my mum about helping Nanna im sure she would appreciate the help.
I just really wish my mum could be happy again, i love her to pieces and shes my best friend
xxx
I hope she finds something to help her through this, it sounds like there's so much love in her life, I'm sure you'll see her through it.