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o/t my mum says she wants to die

Mum is 45 and has a history of depression. Both her and my dad got made redundant early this year and have been struggling to find work. As a result they have only been able to buy for the 2 grandchildren and my brother who is living a home. Mum says she feels really badly about it but no one minds about not getting an xmas pressie. She is struggling with how to pay everything ect they sit freezing cold with no gas because they cant afford to put any on the meter. I help as much as i can but oh and i are in the same situation.
My nan is doing the big xmas dinner this year because mum cant afford to (she has always done it) and she told me she s not going to go and not to tell anyone. I hate the thought of her spending xmas alone and i dont have the room to have everyone here at mine.
Ive just spoken to her on the phone and she says how horrible she feels not being able to do xmas and she doesnt even want to be 'around' she wants to die
What do i do? My head is spinning i dont think she will do anything because she has said this before but refuses to get help. she will hate me if i tell anyone


  • Hon is your mum getting medical help? Medication / counselling? Are you able to go to her doctors with her? I can only imagine this is very hard for you hon - do you have a close relative you can confide in? You need support as well as your mum by the sounds of things. Depression is a very debilitating illness but can be helped with medical intervention. I too was suffering with clinical depression a few years ago and it took me a while to get better but I did with the help of those close to me and with medication and counselling. Theres alway usually a trigger for depression beit an event that triggers it or a hormone imbalance.

    Are your parents getting help from the state? They should be able to get Job Seekers Allowance or Esa or Income Support and Housing Benefit if they rent or help with mortgage interest payments from the Department for work and Pensions? If your brother is still in full time education they should still be claiming Child Benefit and Child Tax Credits.

    I wish you luck Rainbow - keep supporting your mum but look after yourself too.
    Mand13 xx
  • My mum has suffered from depression for many years and was at her worst around a year and a half ago in the run up to my wedding. She said she wanted to die, she would become fixated with people who had died, she would switch off her phone and we would all panic that she had done something to herself.

    I'm afraid that despite her having been like this for years i dont have an answer because there isn't one? I can only sympathise that it is so incredibly difficult to have someone in your life that is so unpredictable and up and down all the time, but that you love so much. I would never say it to my mum but i will always remember the run up to my wedding for the pain and worry she was causing me (not through any fault of her own) rather than the fun and happy time it should have been?

    My mum has never made an attempt on her life if that is any consellation, she did begin counselling and I believe that helped her deal with some issues in her life and, for the moment, she is going through a really good patch, its always around the corner though?

    In the end the only way i could deal with it was to say to my dad that i would request for her to be sectioned if i felt that she was going to harm herself, i would absolutely have done it if i thought it needed to be done, BUT I asked my Dad to step up and deal with it and get her some help before it went that far, and he did, he got her counselling and she's better for the moment. Get your mum to the doctors, try and get her some help, I really feel for you, its hard, really hard :\(
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