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FAO socks

Hi Hon,

Just wanted to see how you are? I missed your last post whilst you where away and just wanted to say i totally understand, and i have been feeling very low myself.

There are prob only a handful of us that have been on here so long now and it takes it's toll. When you dug out that old thread (from ttc after mc) a few months ago it was amazing to see how many people had moved on and even had babys but very sad that it seems as though it is only you and i remaining. I went out this week and brought my 3rd fertility diary i now have 2008, 2009, and now 2010 it is somewhat depressing that i can tell you every time i have had sex for the past 19 months!

I am just hoping (obviously) that this year will be the one, either naturally or with IVF. I can say honestly i dont know if i have the strengh to keep doing this another year. I find myself wondering if i will know when it is time to stop 'trying' and what i will put myself and our marraige through before i get there? do you ever know or will i always feel like i have a chance? I might start this as a thread in thr new year, im sure others think about it too.

Anyway, I wanted just to make sure your okay and also to ask if you are any closer to having any tests done? You are so supportive of others on here who have had tx that i wonder what is stopping you. (if i remember correctly your hubby is catholic and that presented some issues) but there may be other things that could work.

Also did you get round to speaking to your sis? I hope so. It really helps to be able to share, when you
want too.

Thinking of you and sincerely hoping that 2010 is your year.

Take care honey, heaps of sparkly baby dust

Gem xxx

Replies

  • Hello! I went looking for you on the IVF website a couple just before Christmas as I hadn't heard from you for a while, it is good to hear from you again. Was getting worried about you!

    Yes have been low. It is hard isn't it. I could have written your post. I don't really know how much longer I can keep with it either. It really is so tough. I almost want not to want it anymore. I never thought a year ago I would still be here now. Either of us. On the subject of the other ttc after mc'ers did you see NN had her little one? early but she is ok and home now. She has posted some pics in due in jan. I am so pleased for her after all she went through. Just wish we could both join her!

    What is stopping me having the tests done, good question, fear. Not of the results, of having the blood taken which is completely irrational. I think if I hadn't been pg before I would have had it done by now it is just that because we have done it before I keep thinking well this could be the month and why put myself through it for nothing. I have also had odd length cycles for a few months, last 3 have only been 26 days, couple 27 days before that and every cycle before that since I started this lark was 28 day bang on. This month was due Christmas day, nothing yet but if I go by the 28 day I am not officially late yet plus I have developed very mild af pains this evening so I think I may be back to 28 days and she will arrive in the morning. Would obvioulsy be lovely if it didn't.

    Really hope 2010 is both our years lovely I really think our turn is over due!

    I just posted on your other thread. I didn't know you fostered. That is lovely. I picked up some adoption leaflets, thinking of looking into that instead. Neither of us want to do IVF (another reason I don't see the point in the bloods) just not sure I want to put myself through it. I don't think I am strong enough or brave enought.

    Hope you get a sooner IVF appointment than March chat to your GP xx

    Sending love and luck xxx
  • Thanks honey.

    Yes we've been fostering about 4 months, im not sure if you know but im a social worker and used to work for a fostering agency, anyway the short of it is, i always thought i might foster (when i had my own children) but after the ectopic i just felt very differently about everthing. I was fed up of putting my life on hold, holidays, cars, everything cos of ttc. Also i was very stressed at work and working long days, moslty 10 -12 hours and i felt this was not helping with the ttc. Around the same time a boy i have known for 6 years though work needed looking after, (his last chance of a family at 15!) so me and hubby decided to go for it, so i now foster full time and i am loving it. It is hard work, but i am enjoying being at home, and getting to go for a swim now and again and having family time! (if you can call it that with a moody teenager!) I may go back to work later next year, but for now im enjoying the change.

    Now you have said about your 'late' AF i have my fingers crossed for you. Wouldnt that be amazing, lets just keep quiet and hope the witch doesnt find you! I would be thrilled. Just like i was for NN. I will hop across and check out her photos in a bit.

    With regard to the blood test, i think my ectopic worked the other way for me, i realised that the blood test was the least of my worries, and since then i have been pulled, poked and proded , I guess that is your fear, what it might lead to? Or is it just the actual blood being taken. It really truely isnt that bad, esp if you can go to the hosp where they do it day in day out. A little scratch, you will hardly feel it. I wish it could be easier for you. Could somebody go with you?


    Keep me posted tomorrow. A million times good luck.

    Hugs

    Gem xxx
  • Thanks honey.

    Yes we've been fostering about 4 months, im not sure if you know but im a social worker and used to work for a fostering agency, anyway the short of it is, i always thought i might foster (when i had my own children) but after the ectopic i just felt very differently about everthing. I was fed up of putting my life on hold, holidays, cars, everything cos of ttc. Also i was very stressed at work and working long days, moslty 10 -12 hours and i felt this was not helping with the ttc. Around the same time a boy i have known for 6 years though work needed looking after, (his last chance of a family at 15!) so me and hubby decided to go for it, so i now foster full time and i am loving it. It is hard work, but i am enjoying being at home, and getting to go for a swim now and again and having family time! (if you can call it that with a moody teenager!) I may go back to work later next year, but for now im enjoying the change.

    Now you have said about your 'late' AF i have my fingers crossed for you. Wouldnt that be amazing, lets just keep quiet and hope the witch doesnt find you! I would be thrilled. Just like i was for NN. I will hop across and check out her photos in a bit.

    With regard to the blood test, i think my ectopic worked the other way for me, i realised that the blood test was the least of my worries, and since then i have been pulled, poked and proded , I guess that is your fear, what it might lead to? Or is it just the actual blood being taken. It really truely isnt that bad, esp if you can go to the hosp where they do it day in day out. A little scratch, you will hardly feel it. I wish it could be easier for you. Could somebody go with you?


    Keep me posted tomorrow. A million times good luck.

    Hugs

    Gem xxx
  • Oh wow a teenager! That must be really hard work, could be very rewarding. I picked up the brochures for foster care but I am not sure I could take the possibility of having to hand back. We have both said if it doesn't work out we would like to adopt, not a baby though, we would want a child old enough to understand that we weren't its real parents so that we wouldn't have to go through telling the child it was adopted. Maybe 5 - 9. Not really sure how it works. We would need to move to adopt really since we don't have a big enough space for a child of that age so it is just a discussion point at the moment.

    I have a friend who says she would come with me for bloods, the only friend who knows. She is really good to me. I think my husband would come if he wasn't working. He hasn't mentioned it because I think he doesn't want to pressure me. It is the needles thing. I always pass out before I get to the surgery. I know it doesn't hurt. I have been trying to come round to it. I can watch it on tv now without feeling feint. LIke I said though, it is all just excuses.

    What will your appointment involve? I am not sure how this all works xx
  • Oh well not meant to be, she got me this morning and hubby has woken up in a foul mood looks like its gonna be a great day!
  • Hi Gem, i joined in May 08 too and didn't have the courage to post so early on, so i kept myself to myself, but i too have to admit, Socks is lovely and is always supportive in her advice! She is the only one i really remember from very early on, but it is sad that there are only a handful of the longer lttc'ers still left behind!

    I wish you and Socks all the very best for next year too and i truly hope it is the year for us!!!!! I think we deserve it!

    Can i just say how wonderful i think it is that you are fostering, what a lovely thing to do. It is something i too would like to think about when i am a bit older and have done everything possible to conceive ourselves.

    Hope you both had a nice Christmas, and all the very best for 2010 girls.

    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Aw TT that is lovely. Really hope you have a lucky 2010 too. We all deserve to move on from here sooner rather than later xx
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