Thank you for joining our POST-BIRTH HEALING WEBCHAT

Babyexpert welcomes our expert, Rachel Foux who is here to answer your intimate questions about post-birth healing.

Post your questions to Rachel below:

(This webchat will close at 1pm)


  • Hey,

    I gave birth about 6 1/2 months ago now, I had an episotomy (sp?). I would like another child, how will it effect a future birth?
  • Hello Rachel, I am pleased to see this webchat on here.

    I had a traumatic birth 17 months ago, which ended after 64 hours in an emergency c-section and a baby in special care for a week.

    I have now found I am pregnant again, which i am thrilled about but also worried. I still have a lot of bad feelings about the birth and felt cheated out of a proper birth and felt bonding and breastfeeding suffered. My main concern though is that it will happen again, or i'll need another c-section. And I am worried how my scar will cope with this pregnancy.

    Any advice would be appreciated!

    Many thanks, Amy x
  • Hi no having an episotomy will not effect future births but I would reccommend that you regularly massage the scar tissue - ideal product for this is yes oil based lubricant as it's totally natural
  • Hi Amy, I'm sorry to hear about this bad birth experience but the good news is that you're pregnant again and just because you had one difficult experience doesn't mean the 2nd time will be the same. You can have a natural birth after a c section but I advise you to prepare for the birth from now onwards, especially to let go of bad memories and start afresh. Take a look at the gentle birth method as Dr Gowri has an excellent visualisation cd for preparing for birth. Also massage (especially your tummy and genitals) will help to relax you and release trauma. Let me know if you'd like more tips on a genital healing massage to do with your partner.
  • thanks, thats good to know, is it normal it to feel a bit tender after sex still? My lo was delivered in theatre my 'trial ventouse' after a long induction and she had turned back-to-back. I'd even signed the concent form for a c-section but luckily the ventouse worked.

    also - the really embarrassing bit - I still have my pregnancy piles - they're not painful or really bothering me but could they still be there because of the way I was stitched up?
  • Hi- when my waters were broken my son's head was cut quite badly. There was no acknowledgement of this at the time and I'm wondering if I should ask if it was recorded. Is it common?
  • Hi Lo's mum, it's not unusual to still feel tender after sex for years after birth and again I'd recomend that you do light massage along the scar with yes oil. If you find any areas that are puckered or swollen then pls go to see your gp as this could be the cause of your discomfort and can be easily repaired. Also are you spending enough time on foreplay and lubricated enough before intercourse? (not always easy with a young baby!), if not this can increase vaginal tenderness. Again I would recommend using the yes water based lubrication as this is totally natural product to prevent friction during sex. Re the piles, I advice a trip to gp, I know that it's embarrassing but worth getting a check out and perhaps soothing medication.
  • Hi, I had my son nearly 7 weeks ago and had a third degree tear, retained placenta and a pph during which I lost 2 litres of blood. Although my stitches have healed really well I get pain toward the front of vagina when I sit on the toilet which goes a short time after I get up - is this normal? I'd also love another baby but am already scared of giving birth - would I be more likely to have the same complications again?

    Thanks, Anna x
  • Hi Camlo's mum, I'm sorry to hear this happened to your son. I can't say if it is common but it is certainly very significant to your birth experience. Yes,I would recommend that you ask to see your birth notes asap to see if it was recorded, it certainly should have been. You would then need to decide whether you want to take this any further. What counts is that you feel complete about what happened so follow your heart on this. Good luck.
  • Thank you for your reply Rachel. I am already trying to prepare myself and had considered options like hypnobirthing this time around and will definitely take a look at the gentle birth method you recommended. I guess I felt like a failure for not giving birth properly and think these methods will help ease alot of these bad feelings. Even though it is in the early stages still, I feel I do need to prepare. I am interested in the genital healing massage you mentioned. It is not something I have heard of or considered as i had the c-section before. I would like to know more about it.

    Many thanks.

    Amy. x
  • Hi Anna, thank you for telling the details about your recent birth. I'm not surprised that you would feel scared about giving birth again but it's still early days and the experience is very fresh in your memory and body. it would be great if you could share what you remember of the birth with your partner or friends as this can help to release traumatic body memories. I would recommend self hypnosis and lots of genital massage (inside as well as perenieum) as preparation for future births. It is very possible to regain your confidence. Regarding the pain at the front of your vagina, again it is still early days for healing and although the outside is healed, the inside needs longer. I'd suggest that you gently massage the area after bathing and wear a gauze pad to protect the area under your underwear. You could also apply arnica cream onto to you pubic area (externally) under this pad. You could also hold this pad against your pubic hair area as you sit on the loo to give you comfort and support.
  • Hi Amy, it's quite normal that you would feel like a failure BUT YOU ARE NOT! In fact you're fantastic to be thinking and preparing for your next birth already. 9 months is a long enough time to put bad memories to bed and I know that self hypnosis of any kind will help with this. Genital healing massage is simple to do, you apply oil based lubricant onto your labia (I like the yes products as they're 100%natural so fab for pregnancy) and using your forefinger you make small circles very slowly over the perenieum, labia lips and entrance to the vagina. As you do this try to listen to how you're feeling, it may be you feel sad or angry...all emotions are ok and will be released the more you touch this area. Use the same pressure and motion to massage inside your vagina. This may be easier to do with your partner but they need to understand that it is not a sexual engagement but a healing for you to recover and prepare for birth. Can you visualise this?
  • Thanks Rachel- I will contact the Maternity Dept and check whether the cuts were recorded. We aren't looking at taking it further as Archie has urological problems and has been in PICU with bronchiolitis so to be honest we are just grateful to him!
  • Thank you Rachel, I can visualise what I need to do. I will probably start this fairly soon to make sure I feel prepared.

    Thank you once again, for your kind words and support and advice. I feel a lot more positive and have some kind of action plan to follow so I know that I am taking steps to making it a better experience this time around.

    Amy. x
  • I have lots of tips to help with post natal recovery including a visualisation transcript in my book new mums guide to sex.

    I also have lots of articles on my site Rachelfoux.com and my shop sells the products i have mentioned here http://www.householdcompanion.com/shop/index.htm
  • is it possible for a traumatic birth to affect future fertility?
  • Hi Lisa
    Yes I believe that it could affect future fertility just as it could affect all aspects of your life (particuarly in the bedroom). BUT it is very possible to recover and heal the traumas in the ways that I have suggested here. Feel free to contact me if you'd like to discuss this further.
  • Our webchat has now finished. Thank you for all your posts and thank you Rachel for all your informative answers.
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