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woorying so much I can't sleep...

...... I did all my sums yesterday and now I'm really panicking. I couldn't sleep last night for thinking we are going to have to sell our house because we can't afford the mortgage plus nursery fees (I looked up how much they are yesterday). We don't live near our families so can't get help. Neither of us can stay at home as we can't afford to pay bills if we don't both work - even though OH will be out of the house 8am - 7pm for only ??400 a month more than a month's nursery fees. But without that ??400, we can't afford our house. We only moved in September to a place more suitable for a child when we decoided to ttc.

However much our baby is desperately wanted, I feel like we've done something irresponsible.



  • Sorry to hear you are so worried image

    Can you and/ or hubby get childcare vouchers through work? In many cases, this will reduce the amount of NI and tax you pay by ??900 per annum each: -

    We are not entitled to tax credits etc, but you may be as I don't know about your salaries - check at one of these:-

    I hope this helps a bit; I panicked about money a lot when I was pregnant, but all has worked out fine and my little lady is now 6 months.

    Take care,

    Em x
  • Thank you thats so kind!

    It turns out we would be entitled to ??1.03 a week!

  • Hi hun

    Sorry to hear you aren't sleeping very well, I know how you feel am in between getting our BFP at the moment but I cant help but feel that financially we cant afford a baby.

    I posted a similar post on here a few weeks ago and then I changed my views and decided there will never be a right time financially.

    Really hope you manage to sort something out hun xx
  • dont worry hun it'll all work out in the end, life is never easy but remember, whatever house you live in, you're gonna be a gorgeous and happy family image

    we dont own our own property and we dont even drive, this saves us so much money that i dont need to work... which is great as my nausea is so horrific.

    Just try and work out what you can cut out/add to ur earnings etc. Plus rememebr, babies only cost as much as you let them! I know I am gonna be thrifty... not because i dont love my baby, but because i want to spend my money on the memories.

    Relax and have a good nights sleep and dream of your wonderful baby xxx
  • is ??400 a month for those hours minimum wage? it just sounds like very little for such long hours or am I being a bit thick? If you are both employed and on minimum wage you will probably be entitled to child tax credits and possibly even working tax credits. You should give them a call and get them to calculate for you rather than doing it online as you get to talk it through with someone, that's what I did. If you do qualify you may also get help with childcare payments which will obviously help.

    My husband was on about ??20k a year (before tax) and I was on 16k before tax and we were still entitled to child tax credits (not working tax) I then went back 2 days so would bring home about ??500 per month and had baby in for 2 days and got child tax credits and help with childcare which really did help. It goes down after the baby is 1 but it really helps to talk it through with them to see how it all works.

    hope you get something sorted out, try not to worry I'm sure there's help out there it's just not offered up, you have to really search for it.
  • I think she meant ??400 ON TOP of the nursey fees. No-one should work those hours for ??400/month haha! I worry too, its a daily struggle. I'm on about 24k and my partner a little more but I think its never going to be enough!
  • Its never enough, we are on about ??50000 jointly, but what with mortgage, car, loan atc we are comfortable just now - however with nursery fees etc things are going to be tight! Nursery alone would be half my wage image
  • Hi, try not to worry, I felt like that when I was pregnant and now I look back and think why did I worry so much?! Before my daughter was born both me and hubby worked full time but I looked into nursery fees for all week and how much tax credits we would get and it scared me so I decided to look at how much tax credits I would get if I just worked half the week and only put my daughter in nursery for half the week and I was better off doing that. I don't get any help with my childcare either so it was all down to hubby and me to sort out.
    Rosemary is quite right, you don't need to heap things onto the baby, babies have basic needs food, love and security. My little girl is 10 months now and because she grows so quick I buy her some new clothes (mainly supermarket) but I also buy her clothes off ebay and they are practically new, I also try as much as poss to cook our food for her just leaving out the salt etc and also buy some toys off ebay. The love and security she gets in huge amounts for free!!
    Having budgeted for nearly a year now and just watched ourselves and been sensible we have survived and can even afford to go abroad.
    Please don't stress about it and enjoy your pregnancy, there is never a right time financially to have a baby but you will get through it.
    Take care Rhian x
  • Hi LSG,

    I do know exactly how you feel, we too moved from a flat to a nice house in preparation for a family and then wondered what on earth we were going to do. It's true what people above have said, babies need love and security and if you are sensible they can cost little materialisticly. It's the loss of income vs childcare costs for working families which hits middle income families hard. It's hard to hear you are virtually entitled to no help whatsoever due to your family income even though you no doubt pay thousands in tax and NI each month, an yet you are still expected to magic up the ??800 odd a month full time childcare, or lose a salary to be a sahm.

    You will have to work out what is best for your family. I have done exhaustive research in the area. The benefit you will get is child benefit, 20 quid a week. Check what you are entitled to in tax credits if any. Look into whether your employers do the voucher 'salary sacrifice' scheme, if both of you can do this it will save yo about ??150 a month as I remember. If you aren't entitled to tax credits you are unlikely entitled to help with cost of childcare.

    Then sit down together, make a list of your expenses and seriously tackle them. Use the comparison websites to bring down things like insurance. Do your food shopping online and then you can spend exactly what you want without being tempted by all the extras.

    For us, we were in a similar position. I am the higher earner, hubby earns about ??1100 a month, 300 more than the cheapest nursery in our area. We made lots of cut backs, we now only run one car which is mainly to get to work, we are very strict about our monthly expenditure. I drew up a spreadsheet and when I get paid each month we have a separate account for all the outgoings. Then I withdraw the rest and that's what we live off, knowing the bills are taken care of. We don't use cards as you lose track of spending.

    Is there an option to do part time in either of your jobs? It may be that the balance for you may work better this way as te loss of income will be supplemented with tax credits but you will have to pay a lot less in childcare.

    We decided that it wasn't worth hubby going to work and doing awful shift hours just for that extra 300 quid, so he has handed in his notice and will be a stay at home dad when I return to work in august. We have made many cutbacks like I explained and we can just do it. We will have nothing left though, no extras or luxuries but at least we can keep our house and one day things will improve when I get a payrise or lo is at school!

    I know it can seem daunting and it doesn't help much when people say it will all just work out, but with some careful planning and budgeting hopefully you can find a solution. Xx
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