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a complete mess.... help!

I don't even know where to start, anyone have any opinions, ideas or suggestions, I'd be so greatful.
Okay I work nights in a nursing home, and have three children under four, hubby up and left me last week saying he needs to sort himself, so I am officially a single parent now. I returned to work from maternity leave on July 1st and have baby who is seven months old. I can't even begin to make ends meet on my pay. I work part time and picking up extra shifts is going to be nightmare because looking at child care is starting to really scare me. Child care and rent will leave me about 300 pounds a month short!!!! Now I know I'm should apply for chid tax or something, I phoned council tax and they said they'd send me a claim form. Here's my big problem on top of it all. I had to take a week off sick to be in hospital with my daughter in August when she started having seizures and was diagnosed for epilepsy. Now I have been going to work for three weeks with a kidney infection but passed out twice from the pain and the second time was rushed to hospital. I have been diagnosed with kidney disease and signed off work for three weeks to recover. The second week in October I have surgery for a hernia which I incurred at work, but for that I must take another 3 weeks off work. My boss is to exceptionally grouchy and unhappy with me over the amount of sick time I am having to take off. I am feeling really uncomfortable in my work place and there has been word spread along the grape vine that I no longer have any right to my seniority and am going to be demoted. It has been a really, really bad 6 week period. I am in constant pain, my husband has left me, I'm broke and I'm scared of loosing my job, oh and my daughter is in and out of hospital. Sorry to moan, I just don't even know what to do. My mil keeps telling me just quit your job and go on benefits because I need to heal from my what will be three operations in 2 months (one on the hernia, and two on my kidney), and sort out my meds and stabilize my kidney disease, and sort of sort my head out with regards to my family. But I was always really happy not to be on benefits because there are so many people who need it so much more than me and I don't want to take things from others if you know what I mean. I've been having trouble really at my job since I told them I was pregnant. I was kind of ignored and treated with hostility over it, and when I said I wanted to come back they acted surprised I still wanted to be there. They'd expected me to quit, even though I said I would be coming back. They never even asked if I had a girl or a boy, never said congrats or anything really quite cold about it. I'd love to find a new job but I just don't think Im up to job interviews atm. Especially as I am also moving in two weeks due to lease running out and with out hubby to cosign they won't let me keep the flat. Sorry for the novel. I just don't even know what to do anymore. Feel so low.

Thanks for reading



  • oh no - poor you - this is terrible for you! do not under any circumstances get a new job. it sounds like they have been treating you very unfairly and they can't get rid of you for genine illness. they would be very silly to do so especially as 1 of them is work-related! you have rights where you are now regarding sick-pay and flexible working that you may not be entitled to if you started a new job.
    However, if your job is making you as miserable as this and making you as ill as this then being on benefits may at least help you in terms of rent and stuff. try entitled to. co uk as they will give different scenarios depending on what you type in. Just find out the facts yourself before you do anything.
    try and make notes of any negative treatment/comments that you have to endure at work - there is no way treating you like this is acceptable.
    you need to be strong for your kids and yourself and making yourself ill will not help.
    just re-read your post - they sound horrible but do whats best for you.
    when your lease runs out do you have somewhere to go - are you on a housing list - i would think you would be quite a high priority for help. I am so sorry about your hubby, would he not help you out by co-signing the Iease and agreeing to contribute to the rent? Is he making any contribution?
    I am thinking of you - e-mail me if you want to chat.
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