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how is it possible?

Hi ladies, is everyone ok?

we are going to start trying for a baby in september and I just keep going round and round in my head about all the money we will lose on maternity leave, if i take a year off we will be 12.5 thousand pounds short.
i just don't see how this is ever going to happen now. We will obviously save what we can up until we get pregnant and up until i leave work but i cant see us saving the total amount.
Even if i just take 9 months then there is childcare.

Just wondered how you guys worked it out, did you save for the whole amount before trying for your babies?

I've totally depressed myself ??????

thanks for your advice, xxxxx


  • I couldn't afford to take 12 months off when my son was born. I went back to work after 5 months. If you only have 6 months off, then you will not be loosing nearly as much money.

    Our budget did need to change drastically when we became a family - no more new cars or foreign holidays for us, I'm afraid, as I chose to work 4 days per week. This in itself cost ??????7000 a year (I am the main wage-earner). But he's worth every penny!

    I'm now back at work full time, saving to have time off for number 2.
  • I dont think there will ever be a time when we would have had enough money to have a baby. You live to you means. At the moment we have a very comfortable lifestyle, we can afford holidays, nights out, weekends away etc. Come Sept this will all come to an abrupt halt! We have saved a few thousand in case of an emergency, however after the mortgage and bills we wont have much spare money at all. I know though that having my own baby will be more than worth the 'sacrifice' of the materialistic things which make me so happy now. Not sure if this helps at's a personal choice.

    Chickidee x

  • My baby is due today and have been stressing over money for a little while now!

    My OH is paying the bills and rent out of his wages and whatever money we have left over goes on petrol, shopping and any luxury items.

    It is really really hard to be fair but as this was the first month we have done it I am sure we will get used to it! Seeing our baby in the next few days is making all our thoughts of money disappear to be honest. As long as we have a healthy baby, bills are paid and there is food in the cupboards we will be okay for the next few months. I am going back to work in Jan full time!

    Good Luck and seriously, there is more to life than worrying about money!xx
  • Being honest, yes we did. We saved a full year's mortgage repayments in a separate account plus we have other savings if needs be. I will only get statutory maternity pay, which is a huge drop from my (good) salary so we had to plan in advance. We are aiming not to use the savings whilst I am off by being careful with our budget (we are pretty careful anyway) but we were keen not to end up in dire straits or to take a mortgage holiday as that can be expensive in the long term.
  • I've copied and pasted my reply from another similar thread..

    I was just like you when i started to ttc, i was working out maternity benefits and nursery fees,and worried if we could ever afford it.

    Then i got my BFP and sadly it was ectopic and i was devestated, then we discovered we had infertility issues and suddenly we were looking at 6 grand plus for each try! It totally changes your perspective on things. Suddenly just even trying was going to take years of scrimping and saving , with no guarentee of a baby at the end of it. It was heartbreaking.

    Thankfully we are finally pregnant after 2 years of trying and I am so happy to be here that the cost of the baby is the least of my worrys. Like other mums always say, Something will sort itself out. It really used to annoy me when people say if you cant afford the treatment can you afford a baby? this is ridculous, no one wants to go through infertility, and spend lifes savings, remortgaging, beg and borrow, and go without just to be within a chance of what other people can do for free by just trying!

    Like I said, when that babys here you will sort things out and do the best you can for your baby, from looking at the different threads on the due in forums, you can do it as cheaply or as expensive as you can afford. Personally we have accepted a lot of second hand stuff from close friends as any money saved will enable me an extra couple of months maternity, we are just buying the nursery furniture and pram. (although have been offered those too!)

    Good Luck, im sure it will all work out for you as you re already asking the important questions.

    Gem x
  • I think you will be fine. It sound like you are being snesible and planning what money you will have before having your baby, which is a great start.
    It may seem like you won't be able to manage, but with careful budgeting I'm sure you will be able to do it.
    Foreign holidays, nights out and luxuries may have to be cut back ,but I think its definitely worth it when replaced with a child! xxxx
  • Congratulations GEM78. If it came down to it, I know hubby and I would gladly swap our savings, house and anything we needed to in order to be a mum and dad. It is really important to keep this stuff in perspective and I think hubby and I spend too much time worrying about being sensible and finances, it's so easy to lose sight of what's really important.
  • ladies
    thanks so much for your honest and heart fely replies, Gem what you ahve said does put things into perspective. thank you so much and congratulations!
    Minx, have you had your baby?! xxxxxxxxxxx
  • Hi septemberdreams, I'm wondering how you're getting on financially from when you posted on the board? It's money worries that is putting me off ttc as my OH has debts that he's paying back, my friends say you just manage to do what you can with what you have. But we don't even have any rainy day money, let me know what decisions you came to, any advice most appreciated image x
  • on paper i dont think many can afford a baby. but you just learn to manage.
  • just came across this thread...probably late with info...I hope everyone is working things out okay....I can't believe you've managed to save a whole year's mortgage payments, emsyj! Amazing!!
    Our position is a little less secure than that, to say the least, and as many have said here, there is no ideal time, financially or otherwise to have a baby....but everyone seems to manage in the end. Our first is due in Jan, my oh has just lost his job, and I'm not entitled to SMP as I changed jobs before I knew I was we are looking at a drop from a joint income of ??????3000 per month, to just ??????800 per month just as buba arrives!

    Believe me, I've shed a tear or 2 over it, but I also now know that we'll cope whatever. We've been to the bank - no payment holiday or reduced payments on offer; we've been to tax credits - not entitled to a bean due to last year's earnings; we have no savings as our income simply covers living holidays, no new cars etc etc....but it will improve. I will get back to work full time after 3 months, so we just batten down the hatches for that time. We know we'll get into trouble with the bank, but there's nothing else we can do. We have tried to negotiate with them 8 times in the past 2 months and they don't want to know, so we just won't pay them for the 3 months I'm will damage us slightly for the future, but they won't start repossession in such a small time.

    By now, we just see it as another hiccup in the threads of life, which will be worth it once we are a family together.....and THE ONLY WAY IS UP!!

    Good luck to everyone...thinking of you xx
  • Wow ladies, im g/c here but just wanted to say how amazing, some of you have savings and some not but the overall heartfelt thought is that we will all manage once bubba is here, or hopefully here;-) and Its hard not to stress about money, I will be going from wages of ??????2k a month, to ??????500 smp once i leave and I was hoping to take a year off, so would be ??????0 for last few month, and I was worrying, but you have all put it in perspective, so from me I would like to thank you all for this thread
  • loads of people have told me that you will never be totally finacially ready for a baby.

    Congratulations GEM78 after your two years of trying, I have had 2 Ectopics myself and we've been told to go along the IVF route but as you say its six grand for something that other people can just do straight away.

    I know my parents didnt have loads of money when they had my brothers and they were in a better financial position when they had me but my mum always said that she could have had a mink coat,Jag and a big house if she didnt have us but she always said she was glad she had us and no material things could replace that
  • Hi ladies,

    I'm in a bit of a dilema and would like to know your opinions. My partner and I are currenly living in a top floor (7 flights of stairs with no lift) 1 bed flat and it is on the market to sell but not having much luck. My head is telling me to hold off ttc until the flat is sold and we have moved into a house - however my heart is telling me to just go for it. In the current housing market who knows how long it is going to take to sell the flat and I really don't want to wait another year - I know that is selfish but all we want is a family.

    What would you do?

    Thanks for reading x

    Sorry I just realised I g/c this thread and should have started a new one....sorry! x
  • hi i want to agree with everyone about never being finacally ready. i was on a once in a lifetime trip to NZ for a year but came back after a week as something felt wrong to discover i was pregnant with dd1- i had spoent ALL my savings on this trip- well over a grand on the flight let alone all the bits you need to oirangiuse it,get visas ect. anyway i was only 19 at the time and felt like my world was falling away from me BUT i surviuved and if i can- anyone can! i am now married and have a second wondeerful daughter (dd1 is almost 6 now too!) at 19 i had nothing buit i was determind to have my baby and give her a fantstic life so i went back to work when she was 8 motnhs old, oved in with my now hubby, then i brought a new car with my new wages which allowed me to do more work and feel safer on the roads,we then got a igger house as with our joint income this was possible. we now have a lovely home nice cars and as i say 2 beauitful girls.

    we worry about koney just like everyone else and i would love a 3rd baby but worry about money,space in the house ect but this time we have saved all our baby stuff-first time round dd1 had a 2nd hand pushchair travel systerm which cost ??30! i would say to everyone, always except offers of 2nd hand stuff or long term loan, we did and it helped soooo much!

    i went back to full time work when dd2 was 8 months too but i had a good maternity package 2nd time round, IF we have another i will be back at work after 6 months but as long as we are all happy then i dont mkind being at work.

    as for ttc whilst living in a 1 bed flat- falling pregnant doesnt always happen straight away and if you do fall pregnant right now, pregnancy takes 9 months and baby will probably be in your bedroom for first 6 months anyway, taht gives you 15 months before baby would need own room and you probably wouldnt buy as much, therefor saving monmey, if you dont have extra space for it but it is your choice hun x
  • i would start trying if I were you ,as you don't know how long it will take to get pregnant and you never know if you might have problems. I think alot of people are in the same situation,is there anyway if you did have a baby you could rent your place out or something??
  • I agree that you can never have enough money to be fully ready... Not by the time we reach the menopause anyway!!

    My hubby and I are paying off debts until may next year and then trying. I have worked out how much we need to save so that I can have 9 months off on a decent income (not full pay but easily manageable rather than having to worry all the time) We are going to make sure that this amount is saved before baby is born...

    We'll still be short on money afterwards as Im not going back to work full time after the 9 months, but like everyone else has said, you cope somehow!

    I would say if you have got time, save up enough money to be comfortable on maternity leave... if not, go for it and worry about it later.

    People manage to bring up healthy, happy children on less money than most of us have! xxx
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