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Boyfriend confusion

My boyfriend is 20 years old, so were talking about me might being pregnant and my bestfriend callz I told her about it. And when I got off the phone he ask y I told her n I told him I tell her everything, he didn't want me to tell her then he sayz he's not ready for a baby now because he don't have a job I understand that but he didn't have to say he didn't want it so suggested to take the day after pill and he ask if itz gonna work it kinda broke my heart idk what to feel. If I'm not I think itz for the better if I am I hope he grows up enough to see he has 9 months to make a choice


  • you guys need to stop trying for a baby and grow up, get a job and think about this seriously. Having a baby is no joke and you don't want to ruin that baby's life. I don't want to offend you but you really need to consider this. 

  • For some it is very difficult to consider any other option then keeping the baby. You may have instantly felt a connection which can make making rational decisions extremely hard. Now thats not to say that you shouldn't keep the child if it turns out you are pregnant, there are many mothers who are young and unemployed who make fantastic parents.

    It is a HUGE decision and you are young so have plenty of time to have children. Ask yourself - am I really ready? Will I be able to provide my child with the best life I can?

    Also you cannot force your partner to 'be ready', he seemingly has a sensible head on his shoulders and wants to ensure you're both financially stable.


    Essentially its your decision but think long and hard about what is best for you, your partner and your unborn child.


  • I would agree...think about if it is really something you he likley to stay and support you?

    In 15 years time you will be 35 and have a teenager? Is that want or do you want to have a career and be living abroad?

    Remember a baby is not a sticking plaster for a relationship problem, it is life changing.

  • Hi Bunny,

    Sorry to hear you & your boyfriend may have different views on what you're wanting right now.

    Sadly the morning after pill is pretty much what it's name suggests - you'd need to take it within 72hrs of having had unprotected sex and even then it is not a certainty that you won't become pregnant.

    At this point in time you need to find out whether you are actually pregnant rather than just questioning/worrying that you might be (it could turn out to be nothing more than anxiety/stress symptoms).  Once you have determined that you are pregnant you can then move onto the additional questions of whether you are ready to be parents/how you will provide for it/where you will raise it/who will help and support you.

    The impression you are giving is that you have already been questioning this for some time now and can quite possibly be several weeks into pregnancy.  If you are considering a termination it will become more difficult for you to go through the longer you put it off (both physically and emotionally).  Now is the time to come to terms with the truth, you can not keep putting this off, whether you keep baby or not, if you are pregnant you either need to be booking yourself in for your blood tests and scans or booking in for termination.

    Your boyfriend has already told you his choice, you need to make yours (facing the possibility that you keeping the baby could mean he walks away).  Whatever you decide you will need support so do talk to your family and friends.  Best wishes.

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