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Choking phobia

My 3 year old son swallowed a pretty large size piece of strawberry at IHOP today. He has autism so right away he put his hands on his ears and that was it. I thought he was choking and his dad says he thinks I over reacted by calling for help. Which I probably did because he ended up swallowing the whole peice anyway while a couple good Samaritans tried to help with the situation by patting his back. I've always had a phobia of choking whether it's me, my adult fiancé, or my child. How do I get over this and not ruin eating experiences for everyone especially my autistic son who was FINALLY willing to try something that wasn't a plain/bland colored food? I need to be able to assess the situation instead of jumping to action with back pats or having strangers help. This is the 1st time it's happened in a restaurant but I tend to get onto my fiancé about the size of foods he gives all the time, however,  he disagrees the sizes are too big. 
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