Is there any step mums around???

I have 2 step children and was wonderin is there any other step mums on here???


  • i have got 2 step children too one 12 one 7 and i have a almost 3 year old daughter and am preg with my second!!
  • Hi Lea,

    Im a step mum to a 3 year old but she lives with her mum....she wasnt planned, and now that we're trying for our own im hoping it will be as easy....but i have my doubts!

    do you have your own children?
  • yea, i had one little girl, now 8 when i met my partner. He has 2 children, Aoife 7 and Aaron 10. They live back in Ireland with their mum but come over to stay with us all the time. We have a little boy together who is 18 months. "The mum" makes our life hell, i was just wondering is it the same for everyone. Im with my partner 6 years now and thought the hassle would have stopped long before now but it just gets worse as time goes on.
  • yeah we have so much trouble from from my partners ex how left him 6 years ago we have the phone cals of i love you and want you back the constant bitching towards me and horrible messages passed onto me from his daughter finally have got somewhere with his daughter but i dont think me and her mother will ever get on!!!when i was pregnant b4 this pregnancy she said what are you having another dog? i lost that baby at 13 weeks! but still she sent her daughter for me to look after the day i miscarried she is pure evil!!
  • Hi lea

    I'm also a Stepmum, one boy, one girl aged 8 & 10 who live with us.

    I also have shed loads of hassle from the darling ex-wife but i won't start ranting too much, the page isn't big enough!!! My latest moan is someone has told her SIL that i'm pregnant, so instead of asking me or my husband about it she started quizzing the daughter about it, we had told her and said that it was up to her if she choose to tell people (i was just 12wks) and fair play she told mummy she didn't have a clue what she was talking about, a little worrying that she could lie bare faced to her mother like that though!!

    It's not easy being a mum to someone else's kids, whether it's full time or just a few days at a time, sometimes think i'm mad having one of our own but why should we put our life on hold just cos of one psycho?
  • Oh its so nice to hear its not only me. My step kids are startin to lay the guilt trip on my partner now bout the summer holidays from school. They wanna come over for the 10 weeks they are off and I just said an outright no way. DP will be in work everyday from 9-4 and theres no way im stayin home lookin after 4 kids. Do you think thats harsh considering hes not around to take them every weekend anymore?? We just bought a house here, got our keys yesterday and it would mean only having a week in it ourselves before it turns into a mad house!! I just cant do it. They came over at Easter for 3 weeks and it was such hard work, as you know you cant react to them being bold the same way you would to your own children so my own started to feel picked on because they were in trouble and the other 2 werent. During the last week they started playing up on their dad too because they didnt want to go home and that just created tension between us cos he knew i was actually lookin forward to gettin back to normality when they went home. Am i a bitch for thinkin like this?????
  • Also their mum is doin everythin to try get rid of them for the summer.... She is a witch. I couldnt be away from my children for that lenght of time, it would kill me. Even the last time they were here, 3 weeks went by without her even ringin them to see how they were!!!
  • we sound so much in the same boat!!!!my oh ex drives me so crazy!!!! she plans on sending her daughter to stay with us over the summer in which im due to give birth!!!we pay her maiternence every month and none of it goes on his daughter it all goes on her nights out!!! so we end up buying all the things his daughter needs, money is tight enough as it is!!! with only my oh working!!!! when i was due to have my last baby she booked her boob job and tummy tuck the same week i was due to give birth thats when i said no chance!!! bloody good job as i had my daughter on my due date!!anothe thing is she does not give any disaplin and his daughter has bad habbits that are passing onto my daughter and my little one gets into trouble for it !!!sorry rant over
  • Have we gotm the same x???? She is exactly the same. Maintenance was goin on her weekends out and then she sends the children over in rags so we will buy them new stuff. About a year ago I just told her to stop sending clothes up with them and we just bought them stuff which we held onto. When they were over the last time, the clothes in Aoife's bag were for a 4 year old. She is a big girl for her age so not even the 8 year old stuff will fit her... I just threw it all out and told her to tell her mam I used all the t-shirts for cleaning the floors.. ha,ha. We just got the keys to our new house here on Friday and rang the kids to tell them, they were delighted but less than an hour later the txt messages started comin' from herself sayin the kids will not be over unless dp gives her 800 euros. ?? Mad stuff. Anythin to try and ruin our day.
  • god she sounds just the same we have to have clothes here for his daughter as her clothes she used to send looked like cleaning rags too for some reason she washes white with black!!she once sent her to us really poorly when my little girl was a baby, my little one caught it and ended up staying in hospital for 3 days and it turning into a virus with the same affects as pnumonia and was ill for months and its still not completly out of her system so when she is poorly now it comes back out again!!!!grrr do these people even care!!!!?????!!! i wouldnt even dream of letting my little girl go somewhere else if she was poorly!and another one when his daughter had chicken pox she still sent her to school for 2 days till the spots came out on her face!!!also if she goes out on a week night and has a baby sitter for her she will ring the school the next day and say she is ill so she does not have to get out of bed to take her!!
  • hi i have 3 step children that we dont see anymore ohs ex ran off and married his brother but like you she use to send the kids in clothes that were not fit to be worn and now she wants his brother to addopt the kids she has really poisioned there minds against us saying were the ones in the wrong she really is a nasty piece of work xxxx
  • god there seems to be so nasty women about why do these people have kids grrrr!!!
  • i know my ohs ex is reaaly awfull she leaves the kids on there own and they have no didiplin at all they are so out of control why do they have kids when they cant look after them eh :\)
  • My oh ex told her dad we had an affair behind her back, strange thing was we didn't meet till she was 6 months pregnant by another man!! Her dad was a bit shocked to discover darling daughter had been lying to him. She also tells everyone me & oh walked into her house, took the kids & refused to give them back, more like she phoned social services to put them into care, who phoned us to arrange for them to come her, 15 days before our wedding, deliberate timing or what!!

    Anyway 3 yrs on and psycho has agreed to have them together for the first time, since they came here she has only seen them one at a time cos she can't cope with them together! But i'm supposed to!!!

    Some people really shouldn't be allowed to have more children when they can't be bothered look after the ones they got, waiting for ex to announce she's pregnant again, that's her style!
  • same her we are sure that one day we will have to cue along side the other dads to collect their kids!!!
  • wow, really interesting to hear others stories.

    we struggle to see my DH daughter, her mum is over protective...even sleeps in the same room as her.....we would love to be able to have her overnight just once, although agree 10 weeks is a bit excessive!!

    does anyone manage to have a 'normal' relationship when dealing with step kids and exs?!?
  • well a sucess story of some kind my oh eldest son nearly 13 we have a fantastic relationship with his mum and step dad and me and his mum get on really well which is lovely compard to his daughters mum! she insists that we dont pay maiternence she says she doesnt need it as thats what tax credits and child benifit is for we do give money towards his uniform and things like that
  • well a sucess story of some kind my oh eldest son nearly 13 we have a fantastic relationship with his mum and step dad and me and his mum get on really well which is lovely compard to his daughters mum! she insists that we dont pay maiternence she says she doesnt need it as thats what tax credits and child benifit is for we do give money towards his uniform and things like that
  • The father of my little girl met someone else when she was 2 and I didnt once act like a physco towards the girl. Thats why its so hard for me to see the point of dp's x doin what she does to us. My x went on to buy a house with the girl and they had a baby last year and I brought my daughter up to see her sister as much as possible and I'd sit an have a cup of tea or whatever and their was never a problem with my daughter having a step mum as far as I was concerned it was someone else to love her. And thats the way I explain it to her. Just that some children have one mum and dad, but shes so lucky that she got a step mum and a step dad cos there is so much more people to love her and take care of her...
    So why cant people put their childrens intrests first and make their lives as easy and simple as possible. DP's x just see's the kids as weapons she can use against him and I feel so sorry for them.
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