AM I BEING UNREASONABLE???????????

Hello guys, this post is quite long, so i apologise in advance.

My o/h calls me every night without fail, we dont live together & he doesnt get home til 9pm form work mon-fri, so i only see him on weekends. Which sadly enough is something i really look forward to. I used to see him 4 days a week sometimes more but his job has become very demanding at the mo.

He called me last night saying them lot (his friends) have been emailing him all day to go out & is it ok if he goes out.

I said no he cant, the reason being when he goes out (which is about once a month, mayb twice) he gets sooooooooooooooo drunk he ends up being in bed most of the next day & i end up doing all the cooking & looking after him myself.

On a normal day i wouldnt mind but i have been suffering all wk with my hip & back & this weekend i was really looking forward to being looked after as i dont get looked after throughout the week. Also we made plans to go out today, even if it just for a walk cos we havent really been out together that much over the last 3 months & it gave me something to look forward to.

I said he couldnt go out because i know if he goes out me & him wont end up going out today & he will be in bed all day with a hang over & if he manages to drag himself out of bed he will be grumpy all day.

Anyway, it started an argument & i said that he should nt use his friends as an excuse to go out, he shouldnt blame them sending emails cos he has his own mind & tryin to guilt trip me wont work. Also he had plenty of opportunity to go out all month & he has to pick the day when we have plans the following day. Knowing he wont be fit for anything.

It really upset me that he didnt consider my feelings, i never had a problem with him going out any other day, but why the day b4 our plans when he knows he will end up letting me down. He doesnt get y i was upset about it so i thought maybe i was being irrational or over emotional??????????

He said all i had to do was say to him that if he lets me down after going out, he will be in my bad books (something he cant stand, cos i can be a right bitch), but my argument is I KNOW HIM BETTER THAN HE KNOS HIMSELF & WHEN HE GOES OUT BINGE DRINKING HE IS A MESS FOR 2 DAYS AT LEAST.

I just told him to go out & i wont be seeing him today so he can do as he pleases.

DO U THINK I WAS OVER REACTING:\?:\?:\?

Posts

  • no tess i dont think your being unreasonable my fella is the ame if he has a drink he goes mad and he too spends his day off sleeping so i dont get to do nothing it pisses me off your fella doent live with you so he could have gone out on a night he wasnt gonna be at yours or doing stuff with you the next day
  • Yeah thats what i was thinking but after i cussed him i started to feel bad & im not 1 of these silly girls who lets their man treat them bad. I put him in his place. But i didnt know if i was over reacting because i know my hormones r all over the place at the mo!

    Thanks so much anitarose*
  • Hi tess, well im exactly the same, different circumstances though! When owain had his leave in january he only had 10 days and the last 2 nights on a friday and saturday he went out with his friends! He asked if i wanted to go, but i would not go to bloody rock club its so not my thing and he went anyway!!! To be fair he was back by midnight and called me from his and his mates phone through the night, but i am such a bitch lately i was horrible to him!
    I felt so bad, he had been working in iraq for months and only went out from 8pm to midnight on 2 nights but i was so angry!! So, i think its just our emotions to be honest tess cause usually i wouldnt be that bothered. x x x
  • Hi tessie bear,
    No - you are not being unreasonale. Pete is exactley the same, and can't go out for one, it ends up being one day. Before xmas he went out at 2 and didn't come in until 11. I swear I wanted to kick shit out of him, infact I did push him over a couple of times (but thats a secret) cos I was fucking livid. He was pissed still all the next day and when you haven't seen much of them , it's just such a waste.

    You were right to say what you did, and lets face it if he didn't want to know your opinion he wouldn't of asked you. If I had done that to Pete the shit would hit the fan, well and truly. I think sometimes they just try to get away with things, but the less you say about it the more they do it - so you were right ot say what you did,
    Claire Bear. xxx
  • no you are def not unreasonable, my oh did that to me before xmas, i wanted him to look after our daughter while i got her presents, he went out came home at 7.30 next morning, only after i phoned him, he couldnt string 2 words together, threw up all over the toilet up the walls everywhere, had to bring daughter with me, he lay in bed all day left me 8 mths pregnant cleaning up his mess, (only because daughter had to use the toilet), and getting most of her presents, it was 1 thing that i asked him to do and he couldnt even manage that. men are selfish pigs sometimes. play him at his own game see how he likes it hun.
  • If I said yes would u hit me???
  • hi tess,no i dont think u were unreasonable at all.what gets me is why the hell do men ask u if its ok 2 go out,and then u say no and explain ur reasons why ud rather they didnt go out(and ur reasons were perfectly valid by the way) then the buggers just totally disregard what u have said and just go out anyway.i tell you,men r so selfish sometimes!!! i adore my oh,but when he behaves like that i could throttle him!!! oh tess u have got me started now lol! Gayle xx
  • Ah dawnie, i thought you was on my side!!!!!

    Only joking***
  • You're not being unreasonable Tess. Did he go out? Are you guys ok now?

    I used to be unreasonable whenever my hubby when I was pregnant wanted to go out but only coz I was jealous and wanted to go too, but was usually too tired. And now I dont think I'm unreasonable coz I have been out once since lo's been born (14 weeks) and he goes to his pool matches every wednesday and I get told off for nagging him about being home at a reasonable hour and not being drunk.

    Threw a right wobbly when he went to see strippers when I was preggers even though I was meant to be going with him but was too tired. Even threw a bottlre of water over him when he came home that night (whilst he was asleep), that was probably a tad unreasonable.

    Besides even if u r a little unreasonable its pregnant lady perogative!!
  • Oh Dawnie, if he went to see a stripper he wouldnt have got back in the door!!!!

    I cant take him watching a music video, it makes me feel so insecure cos i feel so fat & ugly. I couldnt imagine him going to see a stripper. OH MY GOD U R AN ANGEL!!!

    Yes he went out & he turned up at mine about 3:30am & thankfully not too drunk at all so i wasnt upset with him! He said he came to mine after raving to make sure he didnt let me down on saturday & i could make sure he was up in time to go out.

    So i guess he took notice of my concerns & what i said on friday night, but he still had to be nice to me all day yesterday & i warned him that i would be upset if he didnt make me a home made mother to be card (it had to be home made cos more effort is put into it & he couldnt just go buy it) & i woke up this morning with it sticking out of my bag & he has been lovely all day (so he should)!!!!

    Hope you have a lovely day.

    Tess*image
  • hi,i dont thinkyoure being unreasonable at all, i think you should be putting your foot down before baby arrives,lets otherwise they will walk all over you!!think youre being really fair!!!
Sign In or Register to comment.

Featured Discussions